It felt like a pretty lazy list. To me, it screamed "Let's take some of the biggest video games of all time, some of the highest reviewed ones, and a few classics and toss them in a list. Boom, where's my paycheck?"
I mean, seriously. Halo? I get that it's huge, but to have a game starring a guy whose face you never see? Master Chief isn't a character, he's a blank slate for the player to put themselves into. I mean, unless they want us to get to see Channing Tatum's head under the mask when the helmet comes off, because that's what gamers want, right? Same with Dead Space, because that's what I want to sit through for two hours is someone running around a spaceship shooting up monsters that aren't actually scary. I saw that, it was called Alien: Resurrection.
So instead, I'm looking for games that have a good story, a world that needs development, and characters who are interesting, and I'll try to avoid any games that had either a live action or animated adaptation.
There's a few things I need to clarify, though. I don't really get that excited about things like a Mass Effect or Red Dead movie. There's so much story there, and it all works to drive the plot, so anything less than a Hobbit treatment on each game would just mean it cut too much, and I don't think even I could manage nine Mass Effect movies taking at least nine years to come out.
I think there needs to be a simple acceptance that movies are movies and video games are video games. Few movies translate well to video games (and even less vice-versa) because they're good as they are. In terms of plot, pacing, and length, a movie is shaped to work in a shorter time than many of today's games. Putting unnecessary plot developments that disappear by the end so the story doesn't dramatically change just doesn't make sense. At least, not until we get a movie with many jumps ahead in time so someone can comment "man, I sure love this magic ice sword I found in that fire dungeon back there. Too bad the audience doesn't get to see me get it unless they also play the game!"
...I think I just heard someone at EA get an idea.
First, a few honorable mentions:
Bioshock is one of my favorite games, but unless they completely made up new "important" characters to deal with, the story is both too long and the major spoiler has been around for years.
Parasite Eve almost made my list until I remembered there was a Japanese movie based on it (or the game was based on the movie, or something).
Ghostbusters was a really fun game, but I have this feeling they already made a movie about it. I think it was called Thirteen Ghosts.
There were a few others that came really, really close (Assassin's Creed is my #12 pick), but these are the ones I think could be built on and better explored in a movie, either as an adaptation or a new story in the same world, or wouldn't suffer as much if big changes were made to shorten the length.
#11:Wild Arms
I loved this game when I played it on the original Playstation. The idea of an entire world that operates like the legends of the Old West? Ancient technology long buried and slowly being recovered as the memories of an ancient war and terrible disasters are forgotten? A fear from the general populace of any kind of ancient weaponry, like the kind the main character just happens to have strapped to his side? An ancient leader of an evil, extraterrestrial race whose resurrection would mean the destruction of the planet?
These are all things I love. In fact, looking at it now, it's pretty obvious where the original idea for the Borderlands games came from. "Hey, what if we took Wild Arms and just made everybody gun crazy?"
Combining science fiction and westerns into something more delicious than peanut butter and chocolate could ever pray to make, I want to see a live action rendition of this. Or, heck, let Pixar animate it, I'll still be happy. Plus, the game is old enough that if you squished the story a bit (a lot of classic games like this was the constant need to "grind" to get more experience), it would still work out fine.
#10: No One Lives Forever
Yes, I know Austin Powers already did the whole "spy satire bit." However, with James Bond movies once again ruling box offices, it seems like a chance to look back and give this series a new life. Focused on sexy spy Cate Archer in the 1960s, the game takes you everywhere from undersea shipwrecks to free falling from airplanes to outer space villain bases. You get to visit locations from West (and East) Germany, the Caribbean, Morocco, and the Alps. You get fancy (for the 60s) technology to wield against the forces of evil, and it's all done very tongue in cheek.
Heck, some of your villains are a noble Scotsman in a kilt and an overweight German woman who sings all the time and has the last name Wagner.
So let's bring back Cate, dust off the sleek spy cars and jumpsuits, and let us have some fun with our espionage?
#9: Operation Darkness
In this age of Twilight, Lord of the Rings, and a continuous love of war movies, why has nobody licensed this work yet for a film? It just screams "shut up and take my money!"
#8: Crimson Skies
By now, everyone out there should know I get excited when I see a movie has blimps in it. Iron Sky, The Rocketeer, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Disney's TaleSpin, I vividly remember each airship from them. So why doesn't Hollywood take a lucrative and underutilized property and expand on it? Let's look at the story.
In an alternative 1930s, airships are the primary means of travel. However, an airship that's headed by an adventuring group could easily also deploy multiple small fighter planes for combat purposes. Fighting against evil German forces (okay, I admit this is my third game that has an evil German in it, but it's okay. I think that's the last one) to save the world, you get dizzying aerial battles mixed with exploring vivid landscapes and seeking out hidden secrets behind waterfalls and through canyons.
With much more opportunity to customize planes so people can figure out who's flying what, you'd lose the struggle I had with movies like Top Gun or even Star Wars since it's hard to tell who's in what ship when they all look alike.
#7. Mirror's Edge
With a government stripping the citizens of a city's freedoms in exchange for "guaranteed security," you play as one of a rag-tag group of young people called "runners" who act as secret couriers for people who don't want the government to know what they're up to. Your character gets caught up in an assassination plot and spends most of the rest of the game running from police to prove her and her sister's innocence and find the guilty party.
Take one part Jackie Chan athleticism and mix with a slightly-futuristic setting, and you get Run Lola Run mixed with The Bourne Identity. Plus, the game was also pretty short and could easily be condensed down to movie form. I'm not sure how well first person would work for any of the running scenes, though, but if they can make it work it'd be amazing.
#6: Metroid
I had to put in at least one classic series from Nintendo's early days, and honestly I'd rather watch Samus Aran shoot a giant space brain with missiles than watch Link fight a pig wizard. While not a horror game, Metroid gets a nice spooky aspect to it when you look back at the original games and realize it was all about exploring the depths of a ridiculously large cave/planet system in order to find the spawning ground of horrible monsters called, appropriately, "Metroids." Also featuring the original female video game protagonist, you get awesome science fiction that can be adapted to fit whatever story the writers of a film want. You want to have it take place on one world? Fine, Samus can do that. You want her to explore multiple worlds, each with its own theme? Sure, she can do that.
Of course, the only thing you couldn't really do is explain just how she curls up into that tiny little ball to roll around. But I'm sure some fake science can be whipped up.
#5: Castlevania
Okay, so that other list did get one thing right. We need a Castlevania movie already. Bring Dracula back as a terrifyingly powerful monster to make up for how weak they're now portrayed, and make up for how terrible other monster action films as of late have been (looking at you, Brothers Grimm). You have a guy skulking through the halls of a ridiculously huge castle, fighting mythological monsters with swords, spears, and a whip, including fighting the skeletal form of Death itself, just to face off with the most powerful vampire lord of them all? The storyline is incredibly simple (Part 1: Go in castle. Part 2: Kill everything.) and could be condensed to movie form. You could make this the summer blockbuster of the year, as long as Michael Bay didn't get his hands on it.
Put it into the hands of Abrams, Whedon, or any number of other directors, though, and you'd have the best movie monster (well, classic movie monster, anyway) of all time reclaiming his spot as the prince of darkness.
4: Jade Empire
Yes, yes, I know. I said that certain games have way too much plot to be successfully translated to movie status, and this one has an awful lot of plot.
But here's the thing...a lot of the story of Jade Empire can be looked at as filler. I love this game, and rank it amongst one of my favorites of all time, but when you're trying to get to a city and you have to deal with a fox spirit, a dam, a fighting tournament, and John Cleese insulting your entire culture, you start to realize that you're really taking your time solving the overarching storyline. Take this game, weed out everything that isn't essential (which is much easier than, say, Mass Effect where you need time to build up side characters), and perhaps relegate some characters into a more background role (like the drunken master bun salesman), and you could make an epic-level kung-fu movie with a heavy mystical slant.
And hey, depending on the producer, you could even get to see either a basic romance, a gay/lesbian romance, or even a threesome! ...not that, y'know, that'd the be major selling point or anything.
Moving on.
#3: Monkey Island
It's pretty obvious that people like pirates. Or at least, they used to until the Caribbean films not only beat that dead horse into the ground, but then mistook the twitches for life and beat it some more.
So perhaps it's time that pirates get a more humorous take to them that isn't a seriously underrated movie done in a claymation style.
Featuring the least-intimidating wannabe pirate of all time, Guybrush Threepwood, the story involves winning the heart of the mayor of Monkey Island, defeating the ghost of a terrifying pirate lord, and proving that he has what it takes to be a real pirate. With an eclectic cast of characters and a razor-sharp sense of both self-awareness and humor, this game, if treated right, could be a great comic action hit that Seth Rogan should stay away from. Seriously, don't even let him walk by the set.
#2: Valkyrie Profile
So apparently vikings are big now and have their own show. Who would've guessed?
So, what if you took a story of a young warrior woman tasked by Odin in gathering up the souls of the mightiest warriors of Midgard (Earth) to help fight in a war in Asgard? Well, I suspect it'd be something like Thor meets The Thirteenth Warrior, but with more blond hair. Plus you have a neat twist that pretty much nobody really knows about since the game didn't sell too well, you get a careful look at what it means to be human versus being a god or simply being manipulated by gods, and an epic showdown with pretty much every myth and legend from Norse mythology being involved.
The game was pretty expansive, with a lot of side characters, but I think that if you whittled it down to a few main characters and perhaps tossed in some cameos from a few of the more minor characters, audiences would be happy.
Seriously, this needs to be made. Now.
#1: The Longest Journey/Dreamfall
Yes, technically this would be two movies, but I don't care. The first game was awesome, and the second one was just as good, even if nobody but me ever played them.
You have an engaging story taking place between two worlds, the fantasy-rich world of Arcadia, and the technology-driven world of Stark (no, not Tony). One young woman, April Ryan, has the ability to move between these two worlds, and is the only person capable of restoring a balance between the two worlds that would keep both from being destroyed either by chaotic evil forces or war. Picture a storyline like that, where one moment you deal with great dragons and merfolk and the next you're dealing with advanced technology and robots, put it in the hands of, say, Guillermo Del Toro, and keep in mind that the humor sensibilities were heavily inspired by Joss Whedon's Buffy The Vampire Slayer and you have the making for two epically grand films.
Again, this one has the benefit of being so obscure that if you were to cut out some parts, the vocal outcry would be pretty small, and I think the fans would just be happy to see such a great series get recognition.
So those are my options. Obviously, I missed such greats as Portal, Uncharted, Alan Wake, Borderlands, and others that could probably be easily converted (and one of which is), but I really think that these eleven deserve their shot. If Bloodrayne can get a sequel, surely we can at least give some great, classic games their due.
...man, I completely forgot about Mega Man. Oh well, maybe I'll do another eleven later.
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