Ask Erik: Episode Twenty-One

Here at Ask Erik, we've spent a lot of time reading books and comics, watching movies, and browsing through the Internet in the hopes of finding the answers to life's biggest mysteries. How much does all the air in the world weigh?  Can the wheel be reinvented?  Why do I keep smashing the same toe into things all the time?

Having instead amassed a vault of useless knowledge stored in his head, Erik instead tackles your questions and tries to find the answers you care about (or a reasonable facsimile).  Or, if you don't care, he'll at least try to make you laugh and forget you just wasted time you could spend doing anything else.



To Erik: No mention of Kitchen Confidential?

Okay, for context, the question was asked in regards to  the previous episode of this column.  And to be fair, there were several shows I did skip over in order to try to cover a specific subset of programs FOX has done (namely dramas with slightly fantastic and/or British flavors) ... but man, looking back at their programming schedule, they've wrecked so many shows.

Now, to be fair, NBC, CBS, and ABC have all thrown out shows I thought were great (Now And Again, The Philanthropist, Battletoads), but I think FOX just has the worst reputation.  I might have said this before, but it bears repeating.

So, let's look at a few more programs that FOX either dropped way too early, gave up on, or completely screwed up with.

The Adventures of Sam and Max: Freelance Police

This show was amazing.  It had so much of the flavor of the comic book series and was able to add its own mix of adult humor while still making it fun for kids to watch.  However, I never watched it when it was on the air, because I was an idiot.  I mean, I had played the original computer game put out by Lucasarts, but for some reason I just couldn't follow the show.  I amended this years later, however.

With a superb voice cast, sharp humor that goes for wacky as often as it does straight and a bit more relevance with having had several series of episodic games put out by Telltale and regular appearances in their Texas Hold-Em tournament games, it feels, to me, like this show needs to come back.  And I have just the place for them.

Where I'd Put It:  Nickelodeon.  Why?  It's the channel that made a talking sponge a star and originally gave us Ren and Stimpy.  They know wacky.  How long would it last?  At least another two seasons.

Greg The Bunny

I loved this show.  I loved the jokes, I loved the humor, it even got me to like Sarah Silverman before I ever heard any of her comedy.  In a world where puppets live, talk, and keep jobs like every other shlub in the world, it gave a unique perspective on how things would be different, on how they'd be the same, and how ridiculous our own world is in context.

So, man, if only I could think of a channel this show would succeed on.  If only there was a show that would let someone like Seth Green be as crazy as he wants to be using something normally considered to be children's toys and tell stories that are both hilariously disgusting and quite emotional an- you know where I'm going here.

Where I'd Put It: Adult Swim, because they've already given up on being a "cartoon" network.  How long I think it would last: Four seasons, especially if they had the cast from before with their current acting chops.

Kitchen Confidential

I have mixed feelings about this show.  I really enjoy tossing it into my DVD player sometimes when I just want something fun to watch, and I think the cast is superb in it.  I mean, you have Bradley Cooper, Nicholas Brendon, John Cho and Frank Langella.  I mean c'mon.

On the other hand...a sitcom that takes place in a kitchen?  I love the concept, but man, I really think it was either ahead of its time or was just doomed to fail.  Granted, it might hold up better now that channels like Food Network, Cooking Channel, and others that have a lot of food-based programming do so well, but I'd probably want to keep it on a 2nd or 3rd-tier channel.

Where I'd Put It: TNT.  I've enjoyed a bunch of shows they had (heck, I watched all of Leverage even after someone pointed out it was just a cleaner, sexier The A-Team), and I think this show would do quite well there.  How Long I Think It'd Last: Five seasons, but it would would barely get the fifth.

Stacked

Why this show didn't win every single award I'll never know.

Sadly, Stacked, your time has passed.  The age of comedies involving bookstores has come and gone, and we'll never get to see that greatness I knew you had inside you blossom.

The Good Guys

Man, I loved this show.

A great mix of humor and drama with a superb set-up and art direction, there were very few times watching this program I wasn't completely entertained.  How easily things would go wrong, how it turned cop tropes completely on their head (and sometimes twisted it around to reinforce them)...it was brilliant.

This show needed to be on a channel where the characters could be explored, one that's known for being able to take unique situations and spin entire seasons out of them.

Where I'd Put It: USA Network.  How Long I Think It'd Last: Well, Royal Pains has gone on several seasons, and it's easily the most boring show on television.  I think this one would go at least five.

So there we go, a few more programs that I think could have been better handled than how FOX let them air.  Hopefully this satisfies those of you who felt I didn't do enough last time, and if not...well, there's many more weeks ahead.

I guess someone needs to discuss why New Amsterdam needs to come back.  Or Tru Calling.