Monday, August 19, 2013

Plumbing Shallow Waters: Episode Nnnnnnnnnh!

Finally.  After weeks of watching one of my childhood joys stick a knife into my side and twist as I could do nothing but scream, I've come to the end of this torture.  After this week, I can go on to any kind of programming I want to review.  I could pull up something I enjoyed that probably still holds up, like Mighty Max or Gargoyles.  I could look at an established classic like X-Men or Batman.  I could even start reviewing movies or programs I never watched before.

But first I have to get past one more episode, and I'll be completely finished with this insipid, lazy, worthless program for good.  Just. One. More. Episode.

Hold on, let me do some quick math here.

Let's see, I did this many episodes of My Little Pony, I did my movie breakdowns, I have the posts from way back in the old days...

I think this is my 200th post.  Huh.

Forget Mario, then, I'm going to do something I'm going to actually enjoy to celebrate this pointless event because of how long it took to make it milestone.

I'm taking this week to review Unico.




I'll be completely honest here, Unico and its follow-up movie Unico and the Island of Magic might just be the fondest memory I have of kids shows and movies from when I was little.  I had a terrible dubbed version on a grainy VHS tape that I think also had what I'm sure was a perfectly legal copy of the 1985 live action Alice In Wonderland on it.  You know, the one with Carol Channing, Sammy Davis, Jr., and all the other huge stars around that time?


Yeah, that one.

But that's a different blog post.

Anyway, I remember watching Unico a lot, but as I got older and got into more live-action shows, the tape faded into a shelf and eventually got taped over.  However, just recently I was able to pick up DVD copies of both movies, so I'm taking today and tomorrow to review these treasured moments of my childhood.  Unlike the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, I know these have to hold up better.

I'm pretty sure the movies were mostly intended to entertain my sister, but I remember there being a few things from the movies that freaked me out when I was a child and haunted me for quite a while after I watched them, but I kept going back for more.  Aside from a terrible made for TV movie called Monster In My Closet that I watched when I was young, it might be the most scared I ever got watching something on TV.

The movie starts out simple enough, with some absolutely gorgeously painted animation cells moving past, and a voice telling us that a long time ago, in a field far, far away, a mother unicorn gave birth to some baby unicorns.

...okay, so it starts a bit girly, but trust me that it'll get awesome soon.

Anyway, it introduces us to Unico, who has what the narrator describes as a "special power" in that he can make anybody he meets happy and carefree.  However, this apparently ticks off the Gods of the area (which, based on how they look are apparently supposed to be a mixture of ancient Greece and Christian angels) and they call for Unico's death.


Cooler heads eventually prevail, and instead of flat-out murdering a baby unicorn for the crime of making people happy "without any effort on the person's part to earn it," they instead summon the West Wind and give her (yes, it's a her) instructions to carry Unico off to the Hill of Oblivion and never let him return "no matter how many thousands of years pass."

...I think killing him would be more merciful, really.

The West Wind sweeps Unico up while he sleeps and carries him off, without a word to Unico's mother or siblings.  Harsh.  However, she feels pity for the little sleeping unicorn, and decides to instead leave him in a land near "the end of the world" shrouded in mist and "away from all men and Gods."  ...so, at least from the hill he'd have a nice view, right?

Unico, naturally, freaks out when he wakes up and runs around trying to find anybody.  When nobody replies to his calls, however, he breaks down sobbing realizing he's alone.  Something catches his eye, though, and he realizes there's a house in the distance.  He scampers up a cliff, only to find that it's not so much "house" as it is "horrible tomb."

Unico sneaks inside, only to be startled by a giant talking statue that demands he leave.  Unico's so desperate to not be lonely, however, he instead scampers up excitedly.  This doesn't please the statue (which, naturally, claims to be a demon) and it starts throwing lightning bolts at Unico because obviously demons are jerks.  It winds up striking a large column which topples over and smashes the statue, so there's probably a lesson in that somewhere.

Now, I'm not clear whether the statue was actually the demon or not, but considering there was an actual tiny demon inside claiming to be the statue's son, I'm guessing he simply learned how to deepen his voice in order to scare off anybody who came.  The little demon harasses Unico some and demands Unico give up his magic horn, and every time Unico refuses, the demon insists Unico leave.


For the record, the little demon there?  He's voiced by Wendee Lee, one of my favorite voice actresses from anime of all time.  You might recognize her as the voice of another extremely memorable character from a rather huge anime:


A very talented woman, to say the least.

Anyway, the little demon starts to realize how lonely he actually is, but to his credit he struggles against the feeling extremely well before spotting Unico again and rushing over.  The two manage to broker a deal:  Unico will give up his horn for one day, and the demon will give it back at the end of that day.  The demon pulls the horn off Unico's head (?) and sticks it onto his own head (!) and promptly begins to terrorize Unico.

Big surprise, the demon doesn't know what it means to be friends.

Things go terribly wrong when the devil (whose name I guess was established to be "Beezle" at some point) chases Unico off the edge of a cliff, and Unico lands in the ocean below and starts drowning.  Unico calls for Beezle's help, but Beezle simply sits there puzzled not knowing what the word "help" means.  Beezle wanders back to his home but starts to get bored, and after figuring out a loophole in the "demons don't help" rule, heads back and dives into the ocean to help Unico.

He manages to get Unico's horn back onto his head (I have no idea how this works) but starts to die himself since apparently "the ocean is poison to demons."  ...I had no idea.

Beezle sinks underwater, and so Unico activates his horn to transform into a fully-grown winged unicorn (I- what?) and carries Beezle back to shore.  Unico explains that he has the power to help anybody who cares about him, and proves that Beezle cares by using his magic to give Beezle a horn of his own.  Somehow, this also has the effect of covering the entire rocky, craggy cliffs area with greenery, vines, and grass.

I'll admit, as far as "logic" goes in this movie, I'm completely lost, but I don't care.  It's heartwarming.

The Gods spot the life restored to the island and realize that the West Wind didn't do her job, so they summon the Night Wind to finish the job.


Can I point out we're only about a half hour into this?

Fortunately, the West Wind gets to Unico first and sweeps him away from the island, despite Unico's protests that he wants to stay with his new friend.  Beezle, realizing Unico's gone (and seeing him be spirited away) doesn't take it well and swears to find Unico.

So, we have the West Wind focused on keeping Unico from being banished to the Hill of Oblivion, the Night Wind determined to do just that, a demon vowing to find Unico, and Unico who just wants to have some friends.

This seems like a great place to stop for now.  Next time we'll see what happens on the next step of Unico's journey.

The Good (so far):

The animation, considering it was made in 1981, is absolutely gorgeous.  The still frames that get moved to indicate motion, the...you know, I don't know if its' very early CG or just extremely well done animation for the mist and waves of the ocean, but they really give a sense that the water is huge and intimidating to tiny creatures.  The plot, in of itself, is both heartwarming and bittersweet since you know that the moment Unico makes friends with anybody or makes anybody happy, he's going to be taken from them and carried off to the next land.  It seems like the worst possible case for what might happen to an army base brat growing up, except you also take away their parents.

The Bad (so far):

The show hopes you take a lot of things on faith.  The fact that Unico can just turn himself into a giant winged horse to help someone, but only if they care about Unico, is one of those things that just seems to happen.  Unico is also pretty forgiving to a demon who seems to have spent several minutes trying to reason out that keeping a promise means more than simply not helping because he's a demon...while Unico's drowning the whole time.

The animation, while gorgeous, can also be rather bizarre.  You have a character who will suddenly bounce around for no reason, who does over the top motions, and seems to be a bit rushed sometimes, as if someone had to edit the program down and realized they could just speed up certain parts.  It's not enough to take away from the show, but it is noticable.

Overall (so far):

It might seem silly, but I really do remember why I loved this so much when I was little.  Unico is an endearing character who just wants to make other people happy, and is extremely well-designed to accomplish that (no big surprise, considering this was made by Sanrio, famous for Hello Kitty).    It might seem sappy and cheesy now, but when I was a kid, it ranked right up there with the best any other kids programming could offer in the way of positive messages.

At least, as long as you ignore the "as soon as you make friends, you'll have to leave them behind" aspect and focus on the "it's important to make friends" aspect.






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