Monday, September 23, 2013

The Never, Ever, Ever Ending Story: Part Three

I'm really sad to see this series slide back off my radar.  So far the cartoon version of The Neverending Story has really managed to recapture a wonder and sense of amazement that was lost in the second and third movie, and when someone can say "ho, hum, it's Fantasia" again then I really think that person is living their life incorrectly.

Now, it's not perfect.  It has a few characters from the later films that I've never been fond of (no fair guessing who, I made it pretty obvious), and some of the character designs have been a bit all over the place.  It also follows the unfortunately continuity error between the second and third story, where Bastian's father learned about Fantasia and that the stories were real and then completely forgetting it in the third movie.

Though, to be fair, he also didn't notice his son changed from Jonathan Brandis to Jason James Richter, so it might not be his fault, he might just be the most unobservant, absent-minded man who ever lived.

Also, we haven't seen the guy who owns the book store yet, we've only seen him leave cryptic notes to Bastian telling him to "lock up the store when he's done" and leaving messes of books lying around.  The guy must be really trusting to just leave his shop open when nobody's around and trust that nothing will get stolen.

So let's move on to the third and final episode on this DVD, "The Purple Buffalo."


We open with Atreyu talking to Artax about the fact that the purple buffalo (remember, his people follow and hunt them, this was established in the first movie) are nowhere to be seen, and in fact it's like they never existed.  No trails, no signs of their passing, and they're not where they're supposed to be during the season.


First off, let's get this out of the way.  I don't remember Atreyu having purple hair in the movies, or his skin being quite that... olive-colored.  I don't know if that's how he was originally colored in the novels or not, but when I'm expecting Noah Hathaway and you instead get what happens when Shrek has a baby with Pocahontas, it's distracting.

But it's not as distracting as when Artax starts to talk.

Now, Artax does talk in the books, but I'm willing to bet most kids only ever saw the movies, so to suddenly have Artax speak calmly and eloquently is seriously messing with my mind right now.

The two both sense an imminent danger surrounding them, and take off across the fields, but despite their best efforts to escape a threat that, according to Artax, is "nowhere, yet everywhere" (there must be a mistranslation between "horse" and "English" because that was less than not helpful), the two are swallowed up by an inky blackness.

Back in the real world, Bastian manages to complete the creation of a musical instrument that resembles a flute made out of Tetris blocks.  When his father asks what it is, he explains that Atreyu taught him how to make i- WHAT.

Okay, so either his father doesn't know that his son is gallivanting around in a fantasy world fighting horrible monsters like spiders that bred with rats to make spider rats, or he knows everything and is just cool with his son risking his life every so often by going to a bookstore and getting sucked into a dangerous world.

THIS MAN IS THE WORST FATHER EVER.  At least go WITH your son, JOIN him on these quests, HELP OUT YOU JERK.

You can't have it both ways, series!  You- I- gnnnh.

Sorry, I got distracted.  What's happening?

Oh, Bastian went to the book store, got sucked into the story, and now finds himself in the village of the "greenskins" (no racism there, I see) who are in line for a serving of soup like you'd see in a soup kitchen.  The elder of the village explains that his tribe is going to die out without the purple buffalo, making me wonder why nobody has ever taught these people about agriculture.  Corn, folks.  Look into it.

The purple buffalo and Atreyu have both vanished without a trace, but fortunately Artax is there.  Artax (by speaking, which is unsettling) offers to take Bastian to where Atreyu vanished.  I'd like to point out that a tribe of people renowned for hunting giant buffalo across fields are entrusting their survival to a child.  A child with no horse riding skills whatsoever.

That night as they make camp, Bastian is awakened by what I can only describe as "a dragon stubbed its toe and it really, really hurt."  Artax shrugs it off saying the creature is "far away" and tells Bastian to get some sleep.

Does time travel the same in this world?  Has Bastian just spent the night here while his father has no idea where he is (or might know where he is and doesn't care)?  Are Bastian's frequent trips going to age him faster than everyone in the "normal" world?

Anyway, Bastian tries to go back to sleep, when he's then awakened by the "Great Buffalo Spirit" or something like that, and if I woke up to find this looming over me, I'd probably soil myself.


The buffalo drops of a rather fancily designed horn and tells Bastian to use it to "free the buffalo."  Bastian wakes up the next morning to realize that giant white buffalo aren't a normal dream and that the horn is real, and awakens Artax by saying "we have to free the buffalo."  Artax doesn't question it for a moment and simply rides off with Bastian.

Oh, and what stole away the buffalo and Atreyu, you might ask?


King Koopa and his flying battleships!  ...wait, no, it's just a regular flying ship.  I have no proof at this point that it's piloted by a dragon/turtle king and staffed by an army of turtles and mushrooms.  I can just silently hope it's true.

Can Bastian take on a flying fortress?  Will Artax be any help besides moral support?

Well, due to some technical difficulties, we're going to have to find out tomorrow, so be ready for the conclusion then!

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