I realize, having now opened a can of worms regarding my overthinking of Christmas carols, that I might be presenting myself as being slightly anti-X-mas.
I'm anything but. Even though I might not fully be behind the religious significance of the holiday, I still appreciate the fact that most religions have a time during the coldest part of the year where people come together and simply bond and remember what's important in life.
And no, it isn't the newest video game system.
However, I take my Christmas music seriously. I want to hurl something at the radio every time I hear Spike Jones and His City Slickers working with George Rock to perform "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth." I'm convinced it might actually be one of the worst songs ever written.
But hey, the holidays are about being positive! So let's break down my top eleven favorite songs to hear at Christmas. I won't necessarily go into specific groups, unless appropriate.
There also won't be deep explanations for a lot of them, I just think they're great.
11) Wonderful Christmas Time - By Sir Paul McCartney
I smile every time I hear that wonky synthesizer at the beginning of the song. I just love it, because it usually comes between two classic carols and doesn't really fit with anything else that plays.
10) A Chipmunk Christmas
I smile every time I hear this song as well. It also makes me want a hula hoop every time I hear it.
9) Hey Santa
There's probably other versions of this song, but I'm a big fan of the Carnie and Wendy Wilson (you know, from Wilson Phillips) version of the song, because for a long time I worked at a deli at a grocery store, and this was the only song I could make out over the cheap speakers sprinkled through the place. It's the one Christmas song that kept me sane while slicing ham for people.
8) Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
There are a lot of songs out there that pine for love during the holidays, but this one really seems to resonate, which I think is why it's lasted so long (ignoring the fact that it's Elvis, of course). Where most holiday "I want you" songs are upbeat, this one really seems to appreciate the loneliness that can come from the holidays when you have nobody to share it with, and I think it's good to have that contrast.
7) All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
I'm not a big Mariah Carey fan. I like the sense of humor she seems to have about herself at times (see: the music video to "Touch My Body"), and I'll admit she has a great singing voice, but this is one of the few "new" Christmas songs to make it really big, and it's nice to have something to mix in with a lot of the classics.
6) Santa Claus and His Old Lady - Cheech and Chong
Seriously, it's hilarious. If you disagree, you're wrong.
5) Oh Holy Night
Again, I'm not always a fan of the big pop versions of songs, which is why I really like this one. It's simple, straight to the point, and can be done with just a piano and (done well with) an artist who has a touch of gospel in their singing. You need someone who can carry the song, which is why I actually really like the Christina Aguilera version, even if she does spend a bit too much time on the riffs.
4) Santa Baby
There are a few renditions of this song I love. I like the one by Eartha Kitt the most, but I like the rendition by Shakira, by Willa Ford, by a lot of artists. I'm not that wild about the Taylor Swift version, though. I think you need a bit more "bad" to get away with singing something so purely selfish and materialistic.
3) Linus and Lucy
Okay, so this isn't really a "Christmas" song, but this is the only time of year I hear it on the radio. The precision of the piano notes combined with my fond memories of watching the Charlie Brown Christmas just flood me with the holiday spirit.
2) I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas - Bing Crosby
To me, this is the best slow Christmas song there is. It perfectly captures the sentimentality of the holiday and a look at a more innocent time before you learn things like "NORAD tracks Santa every year" because, I don't know, he's an illegal immigrant?
Plus, Bing Crosby just has the perfect voice for singing it.
1) Carol of the Bells
I absolutely love this song. I love almost every rendition of it I've heard. I love the Mannheim Steamroller version. I love the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version. The only ones I don't really like are the ones with vocals, because I'd rather just hear the bells. Or other instruments pretending to be bells.
Speaking of holidays, it's time for Erik Overthinks Christmas Carols: Part Two!
Okay, the song is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Is it just me, or is this an absolutely terrible song? It sounds like the introduction to a late-night movie on Cinemax ("Ho! Ho! Ho!") except you have a small child being a voyeur to the whole thing. I mean, is it cheating if the figure is mythic?
Secondly, assuming that it actually is Santa and that his father doesn't just dress up in case he's spotted, where is the boy's father? Is he dead? Is he at work? Is he asleep upstairs while his wife cheats on him with Santa? I mean, the kid says "what a laugh it would have been" so I can only assume that his father wouldn't be, you know, mad about his wife canoodling with Santa, so maybe he's moved on to the afterlife, and the boy thinks his dad would be happy to know his wife moved on with someone who we can guarantee is a provider for families.
...I'm not really a big fan of this song.
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