Erik Eats Cereal: Apple Jacks

Maybe I was just strange when I was growing up, but I liked to actually know what it was I was putting into my mouth when I was eating.  Frequently, when my parents would serve me a new dish, I'd ask, "what is it?"  Then, upon receiving a response like moussaka, tetrazini, or polenta, I'd then repeat my question, "okay, but what is it?"

I think that might be why I was always leery of Apple Jacks when I was young, because there seemed to be a genuine conflict between the packaging and the advertising.

For instance, let's turn to special guest Julia Stiles:

Okay, so Apple Jacks don't taste like apples, right?  That's fine, Froot Loops don't actually taste like "froot," so I can live with that.  So what do they taste like?

You might have to zoom in, but it says "three grain cereal with apple and cinnamon."  So, it has apple added to it, but it doesn't taste like apples?  Then what's the point?

It was obvious this cereal couldn't be trusted, so I avoided it whenever the option of "what cereal to eat" came up and it was a choice.

But now I suppose I need to catch up on what I missed, so let's give this cereal a try.

Like Froot Loops, I can't help but notice that the first ingredient of this cereal is sugar followed by various types of flour.  100 calories per box, 125 mg of sodium... well, I guess it's better than those 100 calorie snack packs that are about half the size of this box, but enough stalling, how does it taste?

Okay, I guess one more stall.  Looking at the rings, they seem more robust than Froot Loops rings do.  There's a thickness to them that actually impresses me, and while it's obviously coated in sugar, at least they went with colors you might actually see connected to an apple (green and a light orangey-red).  The flecks of red across them are supposed to be the "apple" flavoring, I suppose, and to be fair it does look like someone minced up a red apple peel and mixed it into the batter.

So here we go, taking the plunge and tasting it.

Here's the initial impressions:  It holds up to the milk pretty well.  It soaks up some, since that's inevitable, but it certainly beats Corn Pops in how long it takes to get soggy.  I actually do taste apple along with the cinnamon and grains, which makes me suspect that the entire advertising campaign was a lie.  It is sweet, but not cloyingly sweet, I think the apple and cinnamon undercut some of it.  I'll find out by licking a ring.

Yeah, that was a mistake.  I got a tongue coated in sugar now, the apple and cinnamon really do tone it down when you eat the ring as one unit.

Taking a big mouthful, I'm slightly reminded of eating a piece of apple pie.  Granted, this has much more crust than apple filling, but the flavor profile is familiar enough that it's really quite pleasant and makes me feel comfortable eating it.

From one to ten, one being the sticks and twigs cereal from Kashi and ten being Honey Nut Cheerios, I give Apple Jacks... a solid 8.  It was almost a 9, but I just couldn't justify it with as much sugar as they put in.  If they increased the apple and cinnamon flavoring and toned down the sugar just a little, it might be a solid ten.

But seriously, why spend so many years telling me that they don't taste like apples when it says it does right on the box?  Your next advertising campaign even featured an apple as one of two animated characters!

Who was the other one?

Oh, right, "CinnaMon," the mildly racist cinnamon stick.

If I was them, I'd play up the "tastes like apples" and see if they can't get in a sponsorship from media.  Sales would probably explode if people saw this on the shelf:

Picture blatantly stolen from here.

I'd support it, if just to say "I approve of your cleverness."