Thursday, February 13, 2014

Erik Eats Cereal: Frosted Flakes

I remember, when I was young, one of the cereals I could eat was Kellogg's Corn Flakes.  It was pretty decent, and I could add pretty much anything I wanted to it.  Sliced bananas were a regular feature, as were sliced nectarines.  I could have it with toast, with an omelet, with anything else I might want that morning, it was always "part of a complete breakfast."

So, what happens when you take corn flakes and add sugar?

Well, you get sweet corn flakes.




Okay, let's get the awesome stuff out of the way.  Do you know who voiced Tony the Tiger for years?

Thurl Ravenscroft (which is the most awesome name ever created) voiced Tony for years until his death in 2005.  He's also most known for doing "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" for the original animated special.  Go ahead, listen to him draw out the word "Grinch" in that song and then listen to Tony draw out the "Grrrreat!"

Totally the same dude.

Okay, moving on.

...I find myself wondering why Frosted Flakes is so determined to be a good source of Vitamin D.  I think most people tend to eat cereal with milk in it, and milk is a great source of Vitamin D.  You also get Vitamin D from sunlight, and since the advertising for years for Frosted Flakes involved getting kids active in sports (sometimes indoors, often outdoors), they'd be getting their D that way.  Why not be a source of a vitamin a lot of people don't get enough of?  Like ... um, how about Vitamin B12?  It's not uncommon for people to be deficient in that one, and it can (reportedly) cause autism spectrum disorder.

Where was I?  Oh, right.

Taste-wise, it really does just taste like sweetened corn flakes.  It's not an unpleasant flavor, and the sweetness isn't cloying, which is a point in its favor.  You do still get the taste of corn through it, and if the box is any indication, you can still add various fruits to it, though from this size I can't tell if the box above added pomegranate seeds or strawberry slices.  I'm assuming the latter, but leaving the former option open.

I realize some people might claim that just "frosted flakes" might be "boring" since there's no marshmallows, there's no sound effects, there's nothing truly unique about them (honey, apple, or otherwise)...but it's cereal.  If the most stimulation you get from your day comes from a bowl of food you eat, you really need to reconsider things.  At best, cereal is part of a more balanced meal.  You could be having toast with some Nutella spread on it.  You could have a fried egg.  You could have bacon, sausage, hash browns, fruit, ham, chicken and waffles, or anything else you want and let that be the "exciting" part, but don't neglect simple, basic cereal to support it.

...I went off on a bit of a tangent there again, and I apologize.  There really isn't much that can be said about Frosted Flakes, at least until we get back to the commercials.

I loved the commercials.  When I would see these, there were typically two types of ads:

1)  Two friends/family members were doing a heartwarming activity, and finishing by having a nice bowl of Frosted Flakes to, I don't know, cement the bond or get their electrolytes up or something.

2)  A young person would be despairing about an upcoming sporting event, and Tony the Tiger would magically show up with his cereal and then take the place of a teammate to help the kid score the winning point/goal/basket/run whatever.  And not once did anybody on the opposing team ever declare "hold on, why is there a TIGER on the ice/court/field/course?"

This of course assumes nobody on the opposing team ate Frosted Flakes, or Tony was having a major conflict of interest.

So, to conclude, I give Frosted Flakes a 7 out of 10.  It does the job it needs to, but doesn't really pique my interest into having more, but if I had the choice between that and some other cereals, I might choose it.

If just for some Vitamin D.  There isn't much sun this time of year.

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