Review: Ant-Man

Technically, this review is really late because it's been some time since I've seen Ant-Man.  However, rather than immediately rush home and type up my impressions, there was a thought I had that made me hesitate.  I wanted to think about it some more, mull over what it means, and consider what it means for superhero movies as a whole.

But here it is, my review of Ant-Man.

Review: LEGO Marvel

I've stated before that, for the most part, the LEGO series of games are extremely fun little time-wasters, filled with humor without being too childish, and managing to stay true to the source material and digging deep into the minutiae without completely alienating everybody who isn't a die-hard fan.

That being said, LEGO Marvel is both the most fun I've had with a LEGO game and the most infuriating time I've spent with a LEGO game.

Impressions of Marvel's AXIS storyline so far

I had really high hopes for this story.  I mean, sure, Avengers vs. X-Men was a pretty big let-down in the storytelling department, Original Sin is something I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of, Age of Ultron was pointless, Infinity was just bad, Fear Itself was ... well, it was "okay," but...

My point is that massive crossover events have tended to be rather lackluster from Marvel over the past few years.  Thinking back, the last big "event" I actually really liked were the two Annihilation storylines.  

Here's my big problem with massive crossover stories: in order to have the story continue, at least one character needs to act like they're incapable of making any intelligent choices.

In Civil War, both Iron Man and Captain America made some pretty terrible decisions.  Iron Man unleashed an untested Thor clone that killed Bill Foster.  Cap somehow decided that a completely unlikeable woman chastising him for not knowing what "Myspace" is justified him losing a battle for peoples' rights.  In Siege, Norman Osborn (the man who has been given the keys to the biggest paramilitary force in the world and has an actual army of supervillains to back him up) decides that what he needs to do is invade Asgard.  Because how could that possibly go wrong?

And now we have AXIS.  Let's look at a few story points so far and decide if these are awesome or stupid.

Or awesomely stupid.

Or stupidly awesome.

Dracula! In Comics!

It's not always easy to have a "scary" superhero book.  When your lead characters have superhuman strength, speed, and agility, it's a bit hard to ever feel like they're overwhelmed by something "terrifying."  Usually it takes one of the "big" monsters in order to provide people with a challenge, but even then, it's not hard to picture superheroes doing pretty well against your standard mummies, Frankensteins, and werewolves.   You can bring in your Cthulhus, krakens, and zombie swarms, but even then you need a gimmick to make them actually "scary."

Or stupid, depending on how long they drag the gimmick out.

So how about we bring out one of (arguably) the biggest guns horror comics have?  Why don't we bring in Dracula?

Hulk Vs. Wolverine

Over the weekend, amid my regular weekend duties of sorting huge stacks of cash and throwing away Faberge eggs that no longer hold my interest, I figured it was time to get through a few DVDs I had lying around.  One such disc was the "Hulk Vs." blu-ray, containing short animated movies featuring the jade giant's run-ins with Wolverine and the forces of Weapon X in one, and Thor and the rest of Asgard in the other.

Since the two stories were extremely different, I figured it would be best to review each one separately and discuss what worked and what didn't work individually, instead of trying to do it in one.  Areas where one story faltered were extremely strong in the other, and viceversa.

Great Hawkeye Moments

Hawkeye is, bar none, my favorite Marvel Comics superhero.  Sure, all of the Guardians of the Galaxy are a close second, and I really like Songbird, Iron Fist, and a whole host of other people, but Hawkeye will always top my list.  Sure, he's the target of a lot of jokes, people laughing at the idea of a guy with a bow and arrow hanging out with a god, a guy in an advanced armor suit, a super soldier, and all sorts of other powerhouses, but there are two things about Hawkeye that I absolutely love:

1)  He lives to be an Avenger.  He's always one of the first ones to show up when the call goes out, and he has devoted his life to the idea of "Avengering."  No matter what else he's doing, where else he's active, or what kind of fight he's had with someone, as soon as the call goes out, he grabs his bow and heads out the door.

2)  He realizes how under-powered he is, which is why he always works to make sure to make up for it with skill.  He even mentions this in one of his better appearances where he manages to eke out a victory against the Collector after every other Avenger has been captured.

Review: Guardians of the Galaxy

As I sit and recount the experience of seeing Guardians of the Galaxy, I find myself sipping a lemonade and listening to the soundtrack and realizing that, at it's heart, this isn't a huge mindless space epic or a complex comic book movie.  It's not simply a story of beating the evil or saving the world.  At it's heart, it's a story of a boy and his relationship to his mother.

I'm trying to think of other movies that deal with such a relationship, and my mind fails me.  I can name any number of father/son, mother/daughter, siblings, and even father/daughter movies, but no mother/son ones come readily to mind.  The Blind Side, A. I., and Throw Momma From The Train.  I guess Psycho counts.

However, look at the structure of this film.  As a child, Peter Quill loses his mother and is soon taken off to space by aliens.  No explanation is immediately given as to why they're there, why they took him, or why, once he has his own ship, he doesn't go back home to let his family know he's alive and doing fine.

The only remnants he has of a life on Earth are relics from a time gone by.  TV show trading cards prominently showing Alf, a troll doll, and his most prized possession, a mix tape (yes, a cassette.  Remember those?) made for him by his mother and the accompanying Walkman to play it.  This is, of course, a magic mix tape, able to pick the perfect song for any occasion, starting at just the right moment so the last song isn't just wrapping up.

An intimate moment with Gamora is overlaid with Elvin Bishop's Fooled Around And Fell In Love, a moment at the beginning is perfectly lead off with Norman Greenbaum's Spirit In The Sky, and a moment where Peter (now Starlord, a name more perfectly picked by a child on an adventure I don't think has ever been made) brings heavy violence to some people between him and his goal is to Escape aka the Piña Colada song.

Lord knows that every time I hear that song, I want to hurt someone.

At every moment, Peter is guided by that mix tape and, by proxy, his mother's spirit.  He even connects with other wayward "youths," the aforementioned Gamora who has some serious father issues, Drax, a mountain of muscle grieving the loss of his wife and daughter, and Rocket and Groot, a talking raccoon with a penchant for smart talk and guns and his "muscle," a walking talking tree that can only say "I am Groot."

Turns out there's a lot of meaning behind those words, and depending on how the emphasis is placed, it's surprisingly easy to understand him.

The story is extremely loyal to Marvel Comics (with a few big shifts where needed), which I think both helps and hinders the story.  Things happen so quickly that it feels like something a child attempting to lose himself after the death of a loved one would come up with ("and then there's this green woman who wants to fight me but she kinda maybe likes me, but then there's a talking raccoon and a tree, and then we all break out of prison and there's this bad guy with a hammer and...") but I think it might lose people not used to the mythology.  There's certainly enough characters introduced that it becomes hard to keep track of who's primary and who isn't.

The movie, while busy at times, does remember it's supposed to also be fun, and the humor had me laughing often, though a few jokes felt rather forced in, as if to keep younger viewers entertained (a strategy session involving Rocket and a group of outlaws comes to mind).  It must be difficult to keep a balance between talking animals and threats like Thanos and Ronin working in the same universe, but for the most part the movie does it well.

The movie is also surprisingly self-aware, twisting a lot of the superhero conventions and action movie tropes on it's head (a dramatic walk down a hallway by the main characters is mixed with yawns by said people), and seems just as willing to poke as much fun at itself as science fiction classics.  There are a lot of Star Wars homages (not surprising, since Disney owns them both), and even Peter comes across as a young, slightly more disreputable Han Solo.

The movie, watched by someone who knows the difference between the Kree and other alien races, who is aware of the relationship between Gamora and Nebula, and can recognize a lot of background characters, the movie is both a great way of opening the cinematic universe to more characters and stories as well as a solid comic book movie.  To people who don't understand why a talking tree would only know three words or why the planet Xandar might look uncannily like something from Mass Effect, I might recommend some reading before sitting down to watch.  It's probably the last movie I'd recommend to people who aren't comic book fans from the Marvel films, but as a fan of these characters, it was everything I wanted.

Also, the post-credits scene had my jaw on the floor.  I can honestly say it was the last thing I expected, but considering something I mentioned above, it makes perfect sense.

If I Was In Charge...of the Defenders!

I don't know why, but for today's inspiration for an article to write, I find myself looking back through my archives for ideas I don't think I fleshed out well enough or feel need follow-up on.  Maybe something has changed since then, or I've learned something additional about the subject.

 Let's see here, what article would be good for follow-up...

My review of Iron Sky was viewed a lot, but sadly there's not much follow-up for a movie about Nazis hiding out on the moon.

I'm not really prepared to dig into another season of My Little Pony...

I haven't finished Venetica yet because, well, it's really, really not a good game once you get deeper into it...

Here we go, my countdown of who I'd put in the Avengers.  Huh.  I think I could do more with this idea.

So why don't we take a look at who I'd put on Marvel's definitive "non-team" team, The Defenders!

Ask Erik: Episode Sixty-Five

To Erik: With the new Godzilla movie out, how has he been portrayed in comics?

I'm so happy you asked.  I really, really am.

Young Avengers

Okay, so some of my more astute readers (if there are any regular ones) might have noticed I haven't done a Carmen Sandiego episode in some time.  There's a reason for this.

It's really boring.

It's not that the stories aren't fun or that there isn't interesting stuff happening, it's just feeling a bit formulaic when I type "Carmen steals someone, gets foiled at the last minute" again and again.  I'm looking at trying to punch it up, but for now it's on a temporary hiatus while I put some polish back on it.

So instead let's talk teen superheroes.  I've touched on this a little before, but I think it's worth going into further.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Day Four!

So far we've looked at the opening episode of the new ABC series Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and listed characters we hoped to see and ones we hoped to/figured we'd never see.  Now, at day four of our 4/5ths of a week-long spotlight, it's time to look at the next logical matter to focus on.

...I just wish I knew what that was.

Okay, um, let's see...I've gone over the characters already, I've discussed the story and the set-up, um...

Well, okay, actually, let's talk characters.  Namely, how ABC and Joss Whedon have to be really careful not to get them wrong.

Top Eleven: Characters I Don't Want To See/Don't Think We'll See In Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

That might be the longest title I've ever had for an article.

Last time I discussed the top eleven characters/teams/groups I really, really hope we'll get to see or have a reference to in the new awkwardly named Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  As people know, my knowledge of obscure and obtuse facts and characters is rather well developed, and while I'd love to see every character done in a live action format one day (the world cries out for one of the villains in a Spider-Man movie to be the Big Wheel), I know for a fact there are certain characters who simply don't seem to fit in how the current cinematic Marvel universe is being developed.

Here's where I break down the list of ones I don't want to see or just don't think would work in this new universe we're getting glimpses of annually/weekly.

Ask Erik: Episode Thirty-Five (Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. special!)

Here at- eh, forget it.  Let's get to the question.


To Erik: With there finally being a program devoted to exploring around the cinematic Marvel Universe, who do you want to show up?  Who do you not want to show up?





Well, as we all know, the Marvel Universe is a pretty huge place.  It has decades of history to fall back on, and little pieces of treasure hidden in the darkest corners that could be mined.  As for who I'd want to see, well, is there any better way to handle it than a top eleven?  I didn't think so.

11)  Unlimited Class Wrestling

Picture the WWE franchise in a world with actual heroes.

I mean- okay, let me rephrase that.  Picture the WWE/WWF franchise from back in the 80s with all of the goofy costumes and ridiculous names, and then bombard them all with radiation so they all get actual super powers.  That's the Unlimited Class Wrestling group in the Marvel Universe.

Members have included characters such as Ben Grimm (a.k.a "The Thing"), Demolition Man (not Stallone), the Armadillo, and a bunch of minor characters who never really amounted to anything.  However, the Unlimited Class Wrestling is where one of my favorite, most obscure groups of all time comes from (at least, it's the only time I ever saw them), the Power Tools.  Each of them has various power tool implements on their gauntlets (or in at least one case, I think, replacing their hand entirely).  You had spinning saw blades, a jackhammer, hammers, a pick-axe, a sledgehammer and...um...



Um, yeah.  The guy on the left has screwdrivers on his gauntlets.  His codename actually is "Screwdriver."

Look, they can't all be winners, okay?

Anyway, an underground arena exploiting people who get powers would be a great storyline, one that could be in the background of a few episodes before coming out and being a huge two-parter.  This is especially true because, if you're having the Unlimited Class Wrestling, you have to include...

10)  The Power Broker

Hey, man, looking for a bit of a boost?  Some extra "zip" to your day?  You want to be able to get a high like you wouldn't believe?  Well, man, you just gotta talk to the Power Broker, and he'll hook you up with the goods.

That is, he distributes super powers in drug form.  Criminals, heroes, and people just looking to get to fly for a short time or beat up the guy picking on him at work all come to him to get what they need to get the job done.  I mean, sure, the drugs might kill you, either directly or because they'll wear off when you're flying over the city or holding up that crumbling building, but that's the risk you take, man!

9)  Nova



Imagine, if you will, an ordinary person here on Earth who gets picked to become part of an intergalactic peacekeeping force.  Granted fantastic powers through advanced technology, he gains the ability to fly, project energy blasts and force fields, and still manages to try to deal with the every day issues of normal life around his hidden identity.

And he isn't played by Ryan Reynolds.

We already know aliens exist in the cinematic Marvel universe, in fact we have an upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie on the way to enforce it.  So why not have S.H.I.E.L.D. be present when the "good guys" of the universe start picking human representatives instead of it always just being "the bad guys" who come to the planet to mess around?

8) Count Nefaria



Count Nefaria is one of those villains who has links to the Avengers as a whole but has a more personal link to Iron Man in the fact that his daughter, Madam Masque, is both trying to kill him and sleep with him at the same time depending on which writer remembers what part of her history.

Having enough power to take on the Avengers single-handedly, Count Nefaria (which is, let's face it, and awesome name) used technology to grant himself "ionic powers" or something that I never worried about the science of because, hey, it's comics.  It'd be great to have the Agents track down stolen technology that could be used to grant someone those powers and be present at the "birth" of such a major villain, which would probably turn into a "use the same technology to stop him" plot, but at this point I just want to see the character on screen.

7)  The Molecule Man

Owen Reese has, arguably, the most powerful "super power" that ever existed.  He can turn anything into anything else.  He alters them at the (as the name suggests) molecular level so that they simply stop being what it was and becomes, say, a block of solid gold.  Or a ball of twine.  Or a penguin.  He can affect things on a microscopic level or alter entire landscapes around him...

But he has the self-confidence of Woody Allen before Woody Allen was famous.  Instead of shooting, punching, or blowing up a threat that faces them, it'd be great to see Agent Coulson or someone else on the team have to simply talk down a guy with the power to simply make them dissolve just by thinking about it.

6) The Psycho Man

Nick Fury established in the very first Iron Man movie that there was more to the world than Tony Stark knew.  This means they've already had encounters with things that would boggle the human mind.  Suppose one of those was an invader from a microscopic universe who had control over everybody's emotions?  A guy who could make an entire city riot in anger or hide away in fear?  He's not quite as powerful in a fight as, say, Count Nefaria, but seeing a more psychological episode of the show would be quite entertaining, and we know that Joss Whedon has done a pretty great job in the past when it comes to messing with the heads of his characters.

5)  Arcade

In a world where people get super powers, where the Avengers are now action figures, and where technology steadily advances, I expect at some point you'd get a guy who takes all of that and turns it into a twisted means of killing people.  Enter Arcade, one of my favorite villains to ever exist, even if his character has taken a disappointing turn in Avengers Arena.

I'd love to see Arcade in a recurring role, hired by other villains through the series to try to lure S.H.I.E.L.D. agents or "pesky gifted people" to their dooms.

4)  Taskmaster



And yes, he'd have to be in that costume.

A guy with the innate (more about that wording tomorrow) ability to physically mimic the moves of anybody he sees, Taskmaster (Tony Masters, former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and now trainer of mooks for bad guys as well as the best mercenary ever) is a guy who can throw Cap's shield almost as well as he can, fight almost as well as Iron Fist, and move almost as acrobatically as Daredevil.

In fact, that's his only problem in that when you get right down to it, he's always almost as good as the source material, because the source material he observes can always try new things, he's limited to what he's already seen.  Granted, it means that a martial artist suddenly has to deal with Hawkeye's arrows or Cap's shield being thrown at him or Iron Man is left fighting a guy who ducks and dodges on a level shy of Elektra, but to fight a guy who can never really beat with the same combat maneuver twice is a great villain for this series.

3)  Joystick/The Great Game



This character was just fun.  Originally a villain for the "replacement" Spider-man, Joystick was part of a group taking part in "The Great Game," a series of events where big prizes were given to whoever could get a mission done first.  It might be simply stealing an object from a secure location or attempting to murder a super-hero (major points to her that she once tried to kill Mr. Fantastic and Namor the Sub-Mariner at the same time despite only being as powerful as a "lesser" Spider-Man), but it's all about the fun and adventure for them.

Joystick herself was great, because she somehow managed to break most conventions.  She was the "team slut" of the Thunderbolts, but didn't wear a revealing costume.  She was smart enough to tell when she was being manipulated, but went along away just to see what happened.  A total hedonist, she was always "looking out for number one" and seemed surprised when anybody called her out on her actions.

2)  Black Panther

We already know that Wakanda must exist, we've seen Cap's shield.  I can't remember if vibranium itself has been mentioned, but it only stands to lead that the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. might be called out to help T'Challa, the Black Panther, defend his kingdom from some kind of threat.  Of course, this could lead to the first appearance of Klaw, but I'd silently be hoping for the first appearance of Man-Ape.

No, seriously, Man-Ape.



...okay, maybe not Man-Ape.  Klaw'd still be pretty cool.

I'm trying to skip all of the obvious ones, since we can pretty much figure there will be Hydra at some point, maybe Paladin, maybe Luke Cage and Iron Fist, probably a good chance of Misty Knight.  I want something not everybody would think of.

So, here goes.

1)  Kang the Conqueror

Yes, I know that time travel is a beast to deal with in story telling.

Yes, I know that future technology is a beast to do CGI on.

Yes, I know that Kang is an Avengers-Level threat, but if you need a great manipulator to be behind events that the agents re trying to investigate, it's hard to do better than Kang.  Well, I mean, I suppose they could do The Wizard or The Leader but those are more specific to other teams or individual heroes.  Kang is just great to have show up when you want everyone to know things just got really serious.

Now, there are some obvious choices I didn't pick, and in fact one or two of my choices might be disqualified, but I'll address those in tomorrow's top eleven: characters I don't expect to ever show up on the show.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Hey, folks!  It's the first week of October!  Time for a theme week!  This week (minus yesterday due to some issues involving freshly sanded wood floors and being unable to access my computer) I'm going to focus every article (including "Ask Erik") on the new Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. program.

Man, am I going to get sick of typing that acronym.

I think the new show based off of the Marvel movie franchise on ABC might just have the silliest title for a TV series I've ever seen.  With all of the hype behind it, why do they need to clarify it's "Marvel's" agents?  Is there another S.H.I.E.L.D. out there that I haven't heard of?  Are there people who like Marvel comics but have not seen a single one of the previews, interviews, movies, or comic book ads to be aware that this is a show for them?

You don't see other comic book properties titled this way.  "Image's The Walking Dead."  "DC's Smallville."  "DC's Arrow." "Ben Edlund's The Tick."  "D.C. Cab"

Wait, was the last one not part of it?  I just remember it was made by Joel Schumacher.

Anyway, with the second episode airing tonight, I feel it's about time I gave my opinion of the first episode of the series.  Its strengths, its weaknesses, and the things that make my brain twitch.

Ask Erik: Episode Thirty-Three

Here at Ask Erik we've spent a lot of time reading novels and comic books, playing video games, and watching television and movies in order to amass a deep vault of pop culture knowledge.  While constantly trying to still gather new information, it only seems prudent to share some of what we have learned to help solve some of the world's greatest questions.

What's the best way to eat interesting food on vacation without running the risk of spending half your trip in a hotel bathroom?  How does the credit rating system work these days?  Why do cats chase laser pointers?

Once a week Erik tackles a question asked to him and tries to answer it in a method that handles the topic with the respect and attention it deserves.  Failing that, he'll at least try to make it funny so you don't regret reading it.

Ask Erik: Episode Twenty-Five

Here at Ask Erik, we've spent a lot of time reading books and comics, watching movies, and browsing through the Internet in the hopes of finding the answers to life's biggest mysteries. How can the nation of Tajikistan survive when only five percent of the population has safe water?  When exactly did the shift in video games change from overactive imagination and "anything goes" plot lines to gritty realism with a higher body count than typhoid?  Why can't they invent a foolproof way to put grout around a shower?

Having instead amassed a vault of useless knowledge stored in his head, Erik instead tackles your questions and tries to find the answers you care about (or a reasonable facsimile).  Or, if you don't care, he'll at least try to make you laugh and forget you just wasted time you could spend doing anything else.