Night of Eire - Or, "How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Walk Out Of Bad Shows"

On Sunday, as a special event, my family and I decided to attend a special show at the Southworth Planetarium in Portland.  This is a small planetarium in the University of Southern Maine.  It's not a very large planetarium, but it allows for a more intimate display rather than the grandiose IMAX displays you'd get at somewhere like the Boston Museum of Science.  Each has its advantages, but for the type of show we were expecting that night, it seemed that a smaller venue would be more appropriate.

So, what was Night of Eire supposed to be?  Well, here's the description:

While the upper world convulses with the tumult of St, Patrick's Day revelers, the Southworth Planetarium will commemorate the holiday with a more elegiac and celestial observance:  an event that blends the ancient Irish elements of stones, stories and stars.    This program represents an amalgam of stone circles; celestial mythology; and Irish legends.     Our stone circle scholar, Lawrence Price, will guide you through some of Ireland's most exquisitely beautiful and storied stone circles: such as Lough Crew, the witch's hill; and the Hill of Tara, which has witnessed the coronations of 142 ancient Irish kings. Also, the colossal Newgrange, designed to capture the solstice sunrise and, astonishingly, the moon cycles.

Sounds pretty neat, huh?  Well, it's not quite what we got.

In fact, let's twist this around into a Top Eleven Ways To Make Me Leave Your Event