Tuesday, February 6, 2007

I'm going to -what-?

I'd like to thank everybody for coming to this, the grand opening of my blog.

I first dreamed of having a blog years ago, before the internet was even widespread. This, of course, lead to others mocking me, and telling me that 'blog' sounded like a dirty word. But after discovering the glory that was Cheeks, The Toy Wonder mere months before it closed down (any and all questions regarding my involvement in said shut-down will be answered by my associates at the law firm Subpeona, Sucker, and Swindle).

I'll now take questions from the press.

Q: "What purpose will this blog serve?"

A: "It will allow me to release some of the pent-up frustrations I have as a writer who feels doomed to never actually write anything. Plus, I'm told that websites are slimming."

Q: "What will this blog be about?"

A: "Anything I own that I want to share the glory, shame, hilarity, or pain of with others. Comics, animes, movies, video games, weird stuff I happen to own, etc. It's my way of giving back to the community that made this crap to begin with."

Q: "Have you paid to see any movies in a movie theater since Men In Black 2?"

A: "No, but I did get to see X-Men 3 for free in one. And I saw Spider-Man 2 in an IMAX."

Q: "Why should we care about anything you have to say?"

A: "Morbid curiosity."

Q: "Are those pictures of you with Jessica Simpson real?"

A: "...The Brooklyn Dodgers. Next question."

Q: "You didn't even see Batman Begins in a theater? What kind of fan are you?"

A: "I- "

Q: "Are you really a fraud?"

A: "Shut up! I was broke at the time, okay?"

Q: "So have you seen it since?"

A: "Peanut butter. Next question."

Q: "What's your favorite TV show, movie, comic book, anime, and nature's miracle?"

A: "Currently? Heroes and Mythbusters, but before it was all about MacGyver. Moviewise, the unedited Star Wars IV, V, and VI, Maverick, Winged Migration, and Dark City. Comic books, I'm a diehard fan of Peter David's run on Supergirl, Busiek and Perez's run on Avengers, but the single issue I have the most affection for is that old Incredible Hulk issue where Rick Jones has a dream of Betty Brant stripping, then she turns into Marlo. And Cap fights the Hulk. It was the first comic book I ever read that wasn't Archie's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and my pre-pubescent mind was blown away. Favorite anime is You're Under Arrest! My favorite nature's miracle is the one that gets the smell of cat urine out of carpet just by spraying it on."

Q: "No Blade Runner? Mr. Smith Goes To Washington? My Girl 2? What kind of freak are you?"

A: "Oh, I forgot Mr. Smith. Thanks. Next question."

Q: "Knock knock."

A: "Who's there?"

Q: "Dyslexic?"

A: "Dyslexic how?"

Insert sound of crickets here.

Q: "So when can we start to see posts?"

A: "Real soon. I'm going to start with something near and dear to my heart."

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