Friday, June 28, 2013

Dr. Doom and the Masters of Evil

Villains are awesome.  Without a good villain, a hero has nothing to struggle against, nothing to help him grow, and nothing to overcome.  How boring would Batman be if all he ever faced were guys robbing 7-11s, or if Iron Man only did battle against businessmen in suits.  ...ones without powers, I mean.

Like, imagine the movies, but no bad guys with technology or- okay, I'm getting off track.

Now, lots of people like particular villains.  A lot of people think the Joker is a great villain, and they're not wrong.  So is the Red Skull, Lex Luthor, Loki, and all the other big guns, but there's one villain who most people would agree is the biggest, scariest one for a hero to face.


Thursday, June 27, 2013

From Erik's Kitchen: Gazpacho


All right, I think most of the people I work with have gone to bed (not that many of them read this anyway), so it's safe to post this.

When I was little, I hated tomatoes.  I would pick them out of salads, I'd pick large ones off of pizzas, and I was always leery of homemade pasta sauces.  I wouldn't eat tomato soup, no matter how sick I got.  I wised up over time, and now I've essentially cut ketchup out of my diet completely with the thinking of "if I want something that tastes "tomatoey," I'll just put on a tomato.

Plus, they work as a great base for sauces and soups.

Like gazpacho.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Ask Erik: Episode Twenty-Three

To Erik:  Besides that one video game, what do you most regret ever buying, or am the most ashamed of having bought?

I'm going to assume we aren't talking about things like cars, meals, or that "discount" surround sound system I once bought.

I'm also going to assume that when we say "ashamed" we mean "embarrassed to have spent money on to own" and not just things I like that I might no leave out for general public viewing.

The game this character was from was awesome.  That's why I own it.  Honest.
Now, some people might think that something I bought that turned out to be terrible might top this list.  That would be true only If I didn't expect it to be terrible.  For instance, I proudly own a copy of Superman: At Earth's End, which I think I mentioned before as the story that somehow ruins Superman fighting in a post-apocalypse world where the major evil is twin clones of Hitler.

It is terrible on every level.  I love it.

There are plenty of movies I own that are not good on any level, but there's something about them I love.  Maybe it's a particular actor, maybe it's a special effect, or maybe it's a ridiculous story.  Case in point, I own five DVDs starring Reb Brown: Captain America and Captain America 2, Yor: The Hunter From The Future, The Firing Line, and the MST3K episode of Space Mutiny.

None of them are good, but they're all fun.

As for video games, well, we already discussed the one game I took back immediately after buying it.  That might top the list...if it weren't for something else I once owned that, looking back, I don't even want my money back, I'd happily pay the exact same amount to have never owned a single volume of the manga Chobits.

Okay, for a long time I was a sponge for all things from Japan.  I ate, drank, and breathed anime, manga, and everything else that tiny country was willing to export to our shores.  I read art books, I played poorly translated games, I read novels.  For heaven's sake, I used to eat Pocky, and that stuff is terrible.  Pocky might actually be on a list of things I really regret ever buying.

But for every Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, or Ghost In The Shell, there was stuff that I watched despite not even really enjoying it.  I sat through St. Luminous Mission High School, which started out with a fascinating mystery and ended as a really weak ghost story.  I watched Burst Angel which suffered from the entire female cast's breasts growing a cup size every few episodes until watching the show felt more like watching talking breasts moving around with legs and heads glued on to them.  I watched Magikano which was decent until i realized they gave away the major plot twist in the opening credits.  I read a LOT of really bad mangas, most of which just blur together into a hodgepodge of mediocrity.

Then there's Chobits.  This is one of those series where you watch it or read it, and after a short ways in you suddenly realize just what depths of being horrible it reaches.  It is, quite possibly, one of the more disturbing and depressing mangas I ever read....and one of the most disturbing series I ever watched.

That's right, I went both routes with this one, because I was sure one couldn't be as disturbing as the other...but I don't remember which one I saw first.

In a somewhat different world like our own, people don't have regular computers or video games, instead they have intelligent computers shaped like people who run programs for them.  The computers walk, talk, do chores, and pretty much do everything Rosie on The Jetsons would do...with one difference:


Rosie didn't look like that.

Now, the series had potential to be really great.  Studying the difference between where artificial life becomes "alive" versus simply living out its programming?  That's pretty deep.  Studying a society where people start to rely more on their computers for social interaction and for getting personal matters done?  It could relate a lot to how people today seem more fixated on their devices than in actual human interaction.

Plus, I will admit that the idea of a smaller "persocom" (I think that's what they were called) was pretty funny, and I liked Sumomo.


But here's the first sign things get creepy:  The main character finds his blond-haired computer in the trash, takes it home, and tries to turn it on.  Where's the power button?  Why, between her legs, of course!

Yeah, let that sink in.

Now, the main character is a bit socially awkward, and I admit I did like the fact that being able to talk to a computer that looked like a person seemed to make it easier for him to have conversations with other people.  He developed other friendships, and even found a girl who really, really liked him, and not just as a friend.  The series had me thinking that we were going to see him come to the realization that his computer might be great, but real human interaction was what he craved, he would get into a relationship with the girl he liked, and the computer girl would move on to someone else who needed it.

But no.

No, it couldn't be that nice.

Instead, through some ridiculous plot twists and other stuff that I almost fell asleep while reading or watching, it turns out that the main character falls completely in love with his computer.  Not only that, but the computer manages to learn what love is, and falls in love with him.  They, by all appearances of the ending, get to live happily ever after together.

Oh, and not only that, but because this one computer learned how to love, there's a quick firmware update to every other computer girl (even the tiny ones) and suddenly they can all fall in love with people or each other.  They are, in essence, officially "alive."

Which is all well and good, except that they establish early on (if I'm remembering this correctly) that only really poor people don't have their own personal computer people.  Suddenly, if people are falling in love with their computers and the computers are loving them back, what does that mean for the fate of the human race?  You can't breed with a computer.  Based on how often I go through computers, your 'girlfriend" might become ridiculously outdated in a few years, or not able to run the latest anti-virus software, or the warranty will run out, then what do you do?  If they don't get outdated, then do they simply permanently turn themselves off when the person they love gets old and dies?  Wouldn't it get really creepy if you lived your with a computer that looked like a fifteen year old girl and you hit your sixtieth birthday?

Oh, wait, I just swung through tvtropes, and it reminded me of a few things.

A "persocom" has limited memory, and when that gets full they either need to have it erased or they start to break down.  Which means congratulations, main character, you have a loving girlfriend who, after an indeterminate amount of time, will need to have her mind wiped.  Or, if for some reason she's special, then everyone else who develops feelings for a robot will go through this.

Oh, and the one girl who really liked the main character?  Remember, she's seventeen.  She winds up resuming a relationship with her 39 year-old boss who was once married to a "persocom" (before they could experience true love) that had the same name as her.

This is terrible, and not in a good way.

There are so many more things about this series that bothers me, but man, the fact that I owned and read the books or watched the series just makes me feel completely unclean inside, and that's not even getting to the fact that the series acknowledges the fact that the reason a "reset/power button" is between the legs is because people are known to try to have sex with their computers.  It's supposed to act like a deterrent since if you start humping your computer, suddenly your mp3 collection vanishes.

Or something like that.

But yeah, that's probably one of the things I most regret ever having in my life at all, much less something I paid money for.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Hey, anybody else remember that time...

...that Julia Stiles educated us what it meant to be a teenage computer hacker?


...oh, the 90s.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Plumbing Shallow Waters: Episode One

...huh.

So, uh, yeah.  Looks like I finished up the first season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  Took me quite a while, but I'm actually pretty proud of the achievement.  I've been doing this a good chunk of this year now, and maybe it's time to look at something from my childhood.

Let's see, what's something simple I could do?   I would prefer something that fits on a single DVD, something recognizable without being too "back in fashion" retro, and something I just haven't seen in a long time, of course.  Something I have some somewhat warm feelings about from my childhood.



...okay, I did go into a little bit of detail on this subject before, but I suppose I could go into more depth.  Plus, the DVD cost me two dollars, so the price is right.  I enjoyed this show as a kid, so I should be able to watch it again and find what drew me to like it in the first place, hopefully.

Okay, let's give it a shot.


Friday, June 21, 2013

From Erik's Kitchen: Tuna Melts!

Right, a lot of people I know either don't like fish or they don't like mayonnaise.

I can understand the second one.  Maybe you like Cool Whip.  Maybe you'd like homemade mayo (which is awesome and really easy, by the way).  Either way, I get it.

But fish?  To simply say "I don't like fish" is like saying "I don't like vegetables" when there's such a wide variety of tastes, textures, colors, and styles of preparing them.  This is one of those things that, try as I might, my brain is never actually able to comprehend.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Potential of Always Online Games

There's a tag series I use sometimes, things like "Erik Shouldn't Be Allowed To Design Video Games" to jokingly indicate that a lot of my ideas are probably pretty wacky or would never work.  I plan on similar tags for writing comics, making movies, and other such projects in the future, because seriously, you all deserve to know my pitch for Resurrection Man movie and video game tie-in (spoiler alert: you die a lot).

But with all the noise made about the Xbox One's complete reversal on their stance on used games and constant checking-in, I felt I could throw out my two cents on one of the ideas that I think has real merit: always online games.


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Ask Erik: Episode Twenty-Two

Here at Ask Erik, we've spent a lot of time reading books and comics, watching movies, and browsing through the Internet in the hopes of finding the answers to life's biggest mysteries. Who would win if Bugs Bunny fought Deadpool?  Why do some movies fail when other identical movies become blockbusters?  Why would they bring back Christina Aguillera to The Voice when Shakira is such a better judge and trainer?

Having instead amassed a vault of useless knowledge stored in his head, Erik instead tackles your questions and tries to find the answers you care about (or a reasonable facsimile).  Or, if you don't care, he'll at least try to make you laugh and forget you just wasted time you could spend doing anything else.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Erik's Favorite Things: Crimson Sea 2

If anybody ever accused the video game company Koei of anything, "not being willing to exploit anything for a long time" would not even be on a different piece of paper in the same room as the list.  Known for the Dynasty Warriors series and it's derivatives, the company figured out a formula and have not been shy in following it.

Now, I love the Samurai Warriors series more than the Dynasty Warriors series, but that might be my love for Japanese history (plus, female ninja Nene from the Samurai series will be in my next eleven fascinating female characters).  However, there is one tiny series of games made with the same formula that I love even more.  Keep in mind that this is despite the fact that, of the two games released, I've only played one.

It's that good.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Reviewing Is Magic: Episode Twenty-Six!

Acting on what was, in essence, the universe daring him to watch an episode, Erik sat down and started watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.  It is, by far, the most insane program he ever watched in his life.

And yes, he did watch Surviving Nugent.

After the jump, he'll break down another episode and discuss what makes it good, what makes it bad, and what makes it just outright crazy.  This week's theme?

...well, it's a big one.  We finally get to what twenty-five episodes has built up to, the season finale!  That's right, it's the last episode of the season!  The last time I have to introduce one of these until I feel demented enough to tackle Season 2 and I can move on to other shows!  Finally, I am free of the ponies!

So let's get this thing over with!

Friday, June 14, 2013

From Erik's Kitchen: Hard-cooked Eggs

I thought for this rendition of cooking and recipes, I'd go with something basic: cooking an egg.  I think a perfectly cooked egg is delicious, while one even slightly under- or over-done is possibly one of the worst things a person can eat while it's still classified as "food."


So here's a few techniques I picked up to get great eggs every time.  Granted, your cooking times may vary depending on your cooking utensil, but once you tweak it a bit, you'll get it to work.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Podblast! Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

People out there know me.  They know I'm a tree-hugging liberal hippie.

It should be absolutely no surprise to people that I listen to NPR on a regular basis.  It's my primary source for news (both American NPR and the broadcasts from the BBC), it's my go-to source for interesting music I don't normally listen to, and it's where a lot of my entertainment comes from.

For instance, there's a program I absolutely love called Says You!  I've seen it twice in person, and plan on seeing it many more times in the future.

But on Saturdays, there's a comedy news quiz that comes on that, I'll admit, I avoided for a while.  It's not that I didn't like it, it's that I was completely ignorant as to what a "news quiz" could be.  I figured it was just some guy trying to be funny to draw people in to what was essentially pop quizzes about news articles where specific names had to be read.

It turns out that's only part of the show.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Ask Erik: Episode Twenty-One

Here at Ask Erik, we've spent a lot of time reading books and comics, watching movies, and browsing through the Internet in the hopes of finding the answers to life's biggest mysteries. How much does all the air in the world weigh?  Can the wheel be reinvented?  Why do I keep smashing the same toe into things all the time?

Having instead amassed a vault of useless knowledge stored in his head, Erik instead tackles your questions and tries to find the answers you care about (or a reasonable facsimile).  Or, if you don't care, he'll at least try to make you laugh and forget you just wasted time you could spend doing anything else.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Review: Iron Man 3

So, in keeping of the tradition of my seeing things exceedingly later than everyone else, towards the end of May I was able to cash in my "one free ticket" to see Iron Man 3.  And let me tell you, it was only slightly less exciting when I was waiting in line and realized that the certificate says "even good on days when passes aren't allowed."

Whoops.

So, having now had an opportunity mull the movie over in my head, consider the implications of some of the points it put out, and see a few memes that were born from it, what'd I think?  Find out after the jump.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Friendship Is Magic: 150th Post Spectacular!

Hey, everyone!  I've officially posted 150 articles to this blog!  Hooray!




I've looked at video games, comic books, movies, social issues, recipes, podcasts, television, and answered a bunch of questions from readers, and I really feel like this thing is just getting started!

So, what's it been like for you guys?



...cute.

So, it's Monday, which means it's still our regularly scheduled programming, but it's appropriate that there's already a Clockwork Orange reference in this post, because this is the penultimate chapter of the first season of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic...and they were saving the most insane for last.

Friday, June 7, 2013

From Erik's Kitchen: Crema

I enjoy cooking, but it's hard for me to really classify it in my head.  Baking is a science, I know that.  Measurements have to be precise to get things to come out perfect, if at all.  Cooking, though?  People have different tastes, so not everybody would want the same flavors.  We have scientific classifications of flavors, so we know how people taste things, but again, preference overrides precise balancing of flavor.  It's not really simply an "art" since we know there are basic rules that need to be followed, such as meat temperatures, heat application, and food safety.

Now, for this edition of From Erik's Kitchen, we're looking at an accessory ingredient that many people probably won't want to use because they'll think it's disgusting.  And they're right.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Theater

It's not always easy to find a topic to talk about in this blog.  I want there to be enough variety so that people can look one day and, if the subject doesn't interest them, come back the next day and go "Oh, that looks interesting."  However, while some things are easy to map out ahead of time (Ask Eriks and episode reviews, for instance), other things tend to be a spur of the moment deal.

This appears to be one of those days, so I'm just going to grab something from a huge stack of stuff I have to sort and ramble about it for a while let's see here.  A gift card to Ricetta's...I should use that.  A World Wildlife Fund sticker...need to find a home for that.  Okay, just grab something, let's see what we've got.



You know, I don't know if I still have anything that could play this.  I had a Walkman somewhere but I might have got rid of it.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Ask Erik: Episode Twenty

Here at Ask Erik, we've spent a lot of time reading books and comics, watching movies, and browsing through the Internet in the hopes of finding the answers to life's biggest mysteries.  At what point can we no longer really consider England to be an "empire?"  Are the current changing patterns in weather severity something that will just come and go, or are we really looking at permanent global change?  Who thought it was a good idea in my car to have the check engine light randomly turn on every now and again just to remind you to have it checked out and maintained?  I freak out every time that happens, guys.  Stop it.

Having instead amassed a vault of useless knowledge stored in his head, Erik instead tackles your questions and tries to find the answers you care about (or a reasonable facsimile).  Or, if you don't care, he'll at least try to make you laugh and forget you just wasted time you could spend doing anything else.


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Top Eleven: Monsters From Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin That Frustrate The #$@! Out Of Me


One of my favorite all-time games that I own for a handheld system is Castlevania: Portrait Of Ruin.  I love how over the top the storyline is, I love the insane reasoning that allows you to explore locations from around the world, I love the complicated storyline involving a ghost, twin daughters who dress like a six year old Amish girl and an Elizabethian prostitute, respectively, and a vampire who isn't Dracula running around Dracula's castle ordering everything around.

I also really love the game play mechanics that allow you to quickly swap out between two characters, one being your stereotypical action hero who wields a powerful weapon he can't really use until the end of the game, and the other is a girl with magical powers who can summon flying weaponry out of books just by holding them in front of her.



That is brilliant.

I love the fact that great magical power is being controlled through worlds trapped within paintings.  I love the fact that the embodiment of Death itself, long-time servant to Dracula, just reacts to your being around like "Oh, you guys?  Whassup?  ...oh, we gotta fight now?  ...fine."

But I'd be lying if I said there weren't some enemies that weren't really frustrating to beat...and I'm not even really including the bosses (which are just as over the top as you'd expect, since one of them is a Frankenstein monster that shoots lightning from its fingers, has a rocket launcher installed in one arm, and a machine gun in the other), but these are just the grunts you have to wade through to get from point A to point B.

And I'm going to count down the eleven that frustrate me the most.  Granted, one is a boss, but it's a special boss.


Monday, June 3, 2013

Reviewing Is Magic: Episode Twenty-Four

Acting on what was, in essence, the universe daring him to watch an episode, Erik sat down and started watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.  It is, by far, the most insane program he ever watched in his life.

And he once watched a show based around this:


Yeah, let that live on in your nightmares.

After the jump, he'll break down another episode and discuss what makes it good, what makes it bad, and what makes it just outright crazy.  This week's theme?  How accidentally sneezing fire into a really old book can almost cost you your job, leading you to run away and wind up almost dying as a monster tries to get you.

...yeah, sometimes the messages get a bit mixed between the show's intent and what I pick up.