Caution: The following articles will have massive spoilers for the storyline of the Walking Dead video game. This is not to say this is how your playing the game would happen, but these are the events that occurred when I played.
...Carley.
Okay, okay. I just...I just gotta focus on the game. I just have to remind myself that this isn't the story of other characters, this is Lee's story. ...well, Lee and Clementine's story.
So I've got Kenny, Ben, Clementine...and our new hobo friend Charles who is actually pretty cool, and Christa and Omid. ...I bet bad things happen to all of them this episode. Ben, everyone died last game because of you, so...if you go I won't feel sad. I'll still try to save you, it just- ...anyway.
So we're in Savannah. Pretty city. And no, Clementine, you don't get your radio back. Not until I've dealt with that voice on the other end.
Kenny, I feel bad for you. I really do. I can tell you're barely holding it together. Ben, I really don't care about anything you have to say, just...I'll be polite and nice in game, but deep down, know I'm just waiting for the opportunity for you to die. Let's just get to the waterfront and WHO IS RINGING THOSE CHURCH BELLS?
...wait, am I now fighting people from Assassin's Creed? ...Assassin zombies. Scary.
Okay, we got zombies incoming. Time to run and hey now. Charles is a badass with that shovel of his. Rock on, homeless dude. A quick event to save Kenny, and- BEN.
YOU ABANDONED CLEMENTINE.
...Ben, first chance I get, I'm holding you down face first into a zombie's mouth, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Okay, okay, save the day, doing fine, shooting zombies...Charles to the rescue! Charles, you're officially part of the group now, you pull your own weight, you're a skilled combatant, and I look forward to having you ar-
WHY ARE WE LEAVING CHARLES BEHIND?
....and now we're down to six of us.
...I really don't know how much more I can take.
Okay, we need a way into the house. Talk to people, try to strengthen relationships...yeah, Ben, as far as I'm concerned Lee likes you, but that's just because I figured out how to act. Congratulations.
...so, this is what the game boils down to. I'm digging up the grave of a pet dog.
I'm such a hero.
Okay, explore the house some, yeah, yeah, try to get some answers from Clementine about the voice on the radio, get a call from Ben about Kenny and-
Oh, Kenny, what did you find?
...a zombie. An emaciated, starved-to-death child zombie. ...god, it can't even move.
...no, Kenny, I'm not making you kill a zombie kid. Not after Duck. Just...go downstairs. I'll handle this.
...stomping on a zombie kid's head. I'm such a hero.
...well, at least one thing in this game gets a decent burial. A boy and his dog.
Now let's just get on w-
...is that the voice guy? Is that the person from the church? ...is this someone new? I don't know what to do anymore.
Okay, that's it. Kenny, we're going boat hunting an to look for Charles. Clem, you stay here with Omid and Christa.
...Ben, you get one. last. chance. Keep Clementine safe, or I swear to all that's holy you will not see another day.
Moving on, moving on, we're at the docks and....big surprise, no boats. Way to stomp on Kenny's last hope, game.
So maybe we'll find something else around here. I mean, the game can't just have us go back and say "tough luck!"
...right?
A wall of corpses and zombies on spikes. ...well, I'll admit, I didn't see that coming.
Oh, and hey, our sneaky ninja assassin's arriving. Okay, well, I can surely take one regular combatant with Kenny's help, right?
Or not. I sure get smacked in the head a lot. And I sure seem to suck at fighting.
...how did Clementine get here? I'm going to have to murder Ben. And not even in his sleep, it'll just be "Hey, guys, you're back, did you find a b-" and then BLAM, a shot right in the head.
Okay, so we have a new character. Her name's Molly, and apparently she's a badass. And she's telling me about the fence. A place called Crawford.
...okay, they're ultra-survivalists who don't allow children, the elderly, or anybody who's sick. And they put zombies on spikes. ...and I have a child and a guy with a bad leg (well, two if Lee's still hasn't healed right...and Kenny is still weak after being shot) ....yeah, I'm gonna have to fight those people, aren't I?
How is it the zombies are the least dangerous thing in a zombie apocalypse?
Okay, zombies are approaching again. Molly, Clem, and Kenny go one way...and seriously? I'm going to a sewer level?
Okay, let's just get through this. Some simple puzzles, moving a wheel from one pipe to another and-
...oh, hey, Charles. Dead, huh? ...well, at least you're not a zombie.
...man, I would've been happy just not knowing what happened to you.
Okay, so, we found a way out...looks like a bomb shelter. Maybe the whole group can move in h-whoops, already occupied.
...wait, is this supposed to be my new group, or did I just find a whole lot of people who are just going to die now? Darn it, game, we already know I stink at keeping people alive, why do you keep presenting more possible corpses for me to deal with?
Okay, so maybe just one potential corpse. Looks like we got an old man named Vernon on the team now.
So, what's the next big story arc?
We got Vernon looking after Omid, Molly's looking around...and I can't find Clementine anywhere. Kenny, you're drunk, therefore useless. Ben...you're always useless. Just...fine, I'll be nice, for Clem, but just get out of my face. Man, this music is intense.
Can anything go right in this game?
...game, you're a tease.
Okay, so it needs batteries, fuel, and antibiotics. Gee, where could we possibly get this stuff?
Crawford. I knew it, I have to fight a militaristic group of psychos.
Aaaand now I have to decide if I'm taking Clementine with me.
...there's absolutely no reason to take this kid with me. I mean...besides the fact that Omid might turn...
...crap, I'm taking a child into a combat situation. Why can't there be any easy choices?
...oh, and now they're telling me about another. The boat holds five people, I'm back up to seven.
...oh man. I mean, I'm willing to ditch Ben, but....well, Molly comes in handy. If Omid dies, that'd make things easier, but I don't want anyone else to die...
...if this game makes me decide who stays behind, I swear to god I won't sleep tonight.
Okay, so, we get one more person from Vernon's crew to help (which screams "I'm doomed" to me), we make our way into the one area zombies haven't been able to get to...gotta stealth kill humans? ...maybe I can just knock them out, or restrain them, or sneak around or-
Or maybe they're all zombies. ...well, I guess that means a) the defenses didn't work, and b) I can kill them.
Okay, let's just get this done. Run inside the school, let's split up, gang! Molly, I'm liking you more and more. ...maybe I'm just transferring what I thought about Carley onto you, but I kinda want you to stick around.
...heh. I love that even Clementine knows that Ben's bad news. "I'm leaving him with you." HA.
Okay, I needed that smile. Let's go, Molly.
...man, I was not built for all this climbing and jumping. And it appears Molly has a secret. One she's taking out on a doctor zombie. Right. Well, enough of that, time to get in and get the battery.
...of course a car alarm goes off. Man. Okay, got the battery, doing some climbing, doing some jumping...what. Molly. Molly. I swear to god, if you run off with that battery...well, I already know I can't beat you in a fight so I'll just fume with anger over here.
Okay, back inside. Right, we help lock doors to save Kenny and...wassername, the new woman. Fine. And then we rescue Vernon and Christa, we watch a tape to get a combination...we lose any sympathy we had for the people here who died...and then we go to find that doctor zombie again to find more tapes.
This is how you know it's a point and click adventure, lots of moving back and forth.
Right, got the tapes, got the locker combo, got the safe combo...just one tape left.
...so that's Molly's secret. Huh. Convenient she wanders back after I see the tape...
...Molly, I like you. Please don't die. I mean, I know you probably will, but...just try not to, okay?
Okay, we're in the cl- GOD DAMMIT BEN. YOU LET THE ZOMBIES IN.
WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?
Okay, gotta save Molly, gotta line up the shot, can't lose her can't- what the hell?
...did I just have Clementine out-shoot me? ...I don't know how to react to that.
Oh, and now's when you confess to Kenny that you're the reason his wife and kid are dead? Everything you touch gets WORSE, Ben.
Focus on getting out with as many people as possible...well, Brie- oh, that was her name. Brie. Okay, she's dead. Well, she was newest, so no big loss. ...man, that was brutal, though.
Okay, so, we fight some zombies, we get everybody out an-
...it would be so easy to let you go, Ben. ...but I can't. You deserve it...but you don't deserve death by zombie. ...man, maybe this is why I keep failing. I can't cut people loose when I need to.
Okay, we're back...some talking... gee, Vernon, I would let you have Clementine except for hell no. ...I need that girl. I keep her safe, nobody else. It's my job in this game, and I'm going to do it.
You're leaving, too, Molly? ...well, at least you'll live. If I could fist-bump you through the screen, I totally would. You rock, girl.
Things are looking pretty good! Kenny seems like he might, at some point, forgive Ben, Omid's doing better...that's still six people. I still have to ditch one. ...I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, time for a rest.
Okay, new day, time to g- where's Clementine? Where's the radio?
Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap gotta find Clementine.
...her hat's outside.
Nonononononononononononononononono don't do this, game.
...the radio's outside the fence. ...someone took Clementine. Okay, okay, that must be the stranger from before. I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna find the guy who took Clementine from me. AND HE WILL PAY.
Now, let's just get the radio a- GAH, ZOMBIE.
...
...
I got bit.
...I'm gonna turn.
Clementine's gone, and I'm going to turn into a zombie.
...
...
...
no.
No. I've been wrong the whole time. This isn't my story. This isn't the story of me and Clementine. This is the story of me helping Clementine. She's the main character, not me.
AND I WON'T LET THAT GIRL DOWN.
Christa, Omid, Kenny, Ben...get ready. We're going to war.
No comments:
Post a Comment