|That's right, someone likely cared about trying to make this "good."|
For one thing, they know it'll be the most recent thing on their resume if someone looks them up on imdb. But also, if you know people might watch it, why wouldn't you try your best to make sure they enjoy it?
Unless you're Uwe Boll, but that's a different topic.
So where were we in the show? Oh, right, Spider-Man and Akira (and, thus, Iron Man) were being attacked by Diamondback while Hawkeye tried to recruit Hikaru into helping.
Let's not dilly-dally and get down to the action!
The episode begins with Spider-Man already on the ropes from Diamondback (I'm not sure how that happened) and Akira is running for his life. Unfortunately, Iron Man didn't get connected to a real athlete (remember the roller blades?) and Akira winds up flat on his face at one point.
Meanwhile, on the Helicarrier, Hawkeye has a great means of getting Hikaru down to the battle. He straps the two of them to each other and then jumps out the back of a vessel flying over the New York skyline. However, we do get him acknowledging his actual code name, which is pretty great.
The two glide down to the bank where a DISK is being kept, allowing Hawkeye to deliver a save to Akira by knocking an exploding diamond out of the sky with an arrow. Not only does he knock it out of the air by shooting it from the side, but he manages to fling it back at Diamondback, blowing her off her feet with her own bomb. This leaves Hikaru free to get into the bank and go for the DISK, hoping it's another hero he can bring into play.
Or...the DISK will wind up being King Cobra and the evil news reporter will get there first.
Hikaru barely manages to escape, if you consider "falling out of a hole blown out of a bank and being caught by Spider-Man" an "escape."
And I'm sorry, that's not really Peter under the mask, that's Nightcrawler. Hikaru's fall was faster than Peter's jump and he was well into that dust cloud before Peter arrived to catch him.
Hikaru feels terrible he doesn't have enough "power" to help his little brother. Fortunately, Spider-Man still has a few of those other DISKs on his person, and is willing to give one to Hikaru, but not before we get a classic speech.
Remember that. Spider-Man wants to make sure a kid who just wants to protect his brother is ready for the responsibility of summoning a hero.
It'll come up next week.
So who did Hikaru get? Well, if you read the title, then you already know.
Yeah, the presence of Thor in the battle is enough of a distraction that Akira is able to grab hold of one of Hawkeye's arrows that's lying around and use it to temporarily take Diamondback out of the battle.
Those are some pretty huge arrows Hawkeye's flinging around.
So that leaves King Cobra facing Thor. A guy who regularly gets out-punched by Captain America is fighting an actual "god."
I wonder how that fight is going.
Yeah, he gets taken out in just a few seconds, knocked through five floors of the bank and left in a crater on the roof. Thor barely even moved from his position, and calls out the reporter, indicating she can surrender. Or not. "I do not mind either way."
Nobody does smack talk like Thor does smack talk.
Diamondback isn't out of the fight yet, however. She-
I'm sorry, first off, where was she keeping that?
Second, if you already have diamonds that big, I don't think you need to commit any more crimes. You can retire.
Granted, it might not be a "real" diamond, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to call someone "Cubiczirconiumback."
The diamond is actually a cluster bomb, scattering explosive diamonds around Thor, Spider-Man, and Hikaru. It probably wouldn't hurt Thor much, but he can't let the others get hurt. Fortunately, it's Thor, not Hulk, and Iron Man is quick to point out to Akira that "they got Thor angry." The fight's not over yet.
Sure enough, it isn't, as Thor uses Mjolnir to whip up a tornado around the good guys, sweeping all the diamonds into the air. He then summons a bolt of lightning down that blows up all the diamonds in one fell swoop.
The reporter hightails it with the help of an ally and MODOK (picking up King Cobra on their way out), but Diamondback is left to face Thor all alone.
She makes the right choice.
However, Thor has the same problem Iron Man does, only being able to stay out of his DISK for five and a half minutes. He doesn't handle the situation as well as Tony.
Back on the Helicarrier, Senator Robert grumbles about how things have turned out, and walks out of the room on Maria Hill. It turns out he has a detector to show him where DISKs are, and realizes that Spider-Man has the rest of the Avengers with him. Why does this matter?
Because Senator Robert is Loki.
...yeah, not really a huge surprise there.
Meanwhile, down in Boston (really? Boston?) Chris is trying to get back to a normal life, hampered by the fact he's being watched by the world's worst S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.
He's also having difficulty understanding what happened to him when the biocode installer went off, but he's in luck, because someone shows up to talk to him about everything that's going on.
Clones. It's gotta be clones. It's the only way to explain how he gets around so fast.
And that's where the episode ends. We got a great fight, some character drama, and a good lead in for next week!
I, for one, can't wait to see how the slacker/unmotivated character manages to get his hands on the Captain America DISK!