(Spoiler alert, considering the rest of this article, I'd say crying, much in the same way a girl forced into working in a prostitution camp might cry)
It was at this point, when I realized all this, that I started to feel really, really unclean.
Speaking of costumes, let's look at what's available. Just in case the idea of buying non-existent swimsuits for underage girls didn't weird you out enough in the volley ball game, this game lets you buy every fetish-tastic costume you can imagine. Do you want your character running around in a Japanese gym uniform? Sure, that's there. Bikini and matching thong? You got it. Sexy cat costume? Yup. Sexy Santa dress? Sexy cheerleader? Sexy nurse? They're all there.
Looking at Xbox Live, there's 499 items that come up in the shop for Dead Or Alive V. That might be the maximum the store will show, because I know for a fact there have been a LOT of items showing up there.
Each of the items I see are either a costume for one character (sold at $1.99 each) or a costume set (5 costumes for one character for $5.99). There are also new characters who come with five costumes for $12.99. There's others, but I'll admit I stopped looking when I found "Rachel's Paradise" for $2.99, which has the following description:
"Take a private peek at Rachel enjoying the sand and surf on Zack Island. Check out the Private Paradise Set to get movies for all 12 DOA hotties at a special price!"
So for three dollars you can download a video clip of one of the characters hanging out on a beach in a swimsuit. A fake woman. In a completely voyeuristic way. For three dollars.
At that point just go to a peep show, guys. It's less pathetic.
I can't imagine anybody is buying all of this. No single video game is worth the hundreds of dollars in costumes and add-ons that this game is grinding out with no sense of respect for the characters or itself. Team Ninja has essentially turned into a softcore porn studio, and apparently they don't care who knows it based on how they just keep pushing this stuff amid every other piece of downloadable software game companies offer.
What's really sad is that Team Ninja knows how to render a character, be it male or female, really, really well. I can't help but feel there's so much wasted potential here. If Team Ninja were to team up with a company that can write a good story, program good controls, and has a healthy respect for any characters it creates, they could possibly create the most visually amazing game ever made. A video game like L.A. Noire where you'd be able to actually see the person you're interrogating start to sweat would be amazing. And Team Ninja, you wouldn't need to shill out fifty costume sets for the characters because we'd actually like the characters and respect them. You do understand what it means to respect a character, right?
Man. Maybe you guys should see someone about these issues. Or just stop hiring people who stopped maturing at age twelve.