So one more draft post I dug up:
"You know, no matter how many times I look back, I think one of the moments I experienced my first real bout of fanboy glee will be when Tom Beland himself became the first person ever to post a comment on my blog. There are simply no words for how awesome that is.
The closest thing I can think of is if someone wanted to be a puppeteer for their entire life, and they finally work up the nerve to set up a tiny little street corner performance. They do a couple shows, nobody seems too interested, and then suddenly Frank Oz stops by and says "you...are awesome."
Or for those of you who aren't quite that nerdy, just imagine a hobby you took up at one point and someone you consider a master tells you you're doing just fine out of the blue. Horseback riding and 1992 gold medalist Matt Ryan, for example. Whatever. It was great. Shut up."
Even then, I knew horses and ponies were the opposite extreme to my regular interests. Now we just have to wait for me to discover a love for Jersey Shore, the Deen family, and binge drinking.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
11 Games I Feel Don't Get Remembered Enough
Hey, look what I dug out of one of my "proposed posts" archives! Enjoy!
In a blatant ripoff of the Nostalgia Critic, here's a Not-The-Top 11 list. These are by no means the greatest games I've ever played, or even games I might necessarily play again unless I was consumed by total nostalgia, but they are games that completely shaped my outlook on video games.
#11: SiN: Episode 1: Emergence
Easily the game with the most colons (punctuation-wise, though possibly also organic in the number of people you shoot), this game is a campy, over-the-top FPS that came out back in 2006 that fully embraced the idea of games being played to be fun. The accuracy was just close enough that if you missed you could blame it on the fact you were running away from giant mutants, it had the old-school feel of hiding behind walls, saving ammo, and praying there was a health kit nearby to keep you from dying, but what I loved were the characters.
...besides the obvious reasons. The NPCs in this game had the most personality I had ever seen in an FPS (I was sadly behind in my playing of games by Valve), and managed to play up the relationships so that when something bad happens to a character close to you, the lead, I actually got upset at the person responsible and wanted eagerly a chance to destroy them. The banter, the conversations, and the fact that if you crouch behind your partner and fixate too long on a certain part of their anatomy, they tell you to "take a picture, it lasts longer" all added up to an extremely fun experience.
#10: Disaster Report
Very few people know about this game, which is more the shame. A lot of people describe survival horror as games where monsters stalk you or jump out of closets going "boogie boogie boogie" before you can smack them down with a chair leg or shoot them with enough ammo to wipe out a Roman legion. Disaster Report is different in the sense that there's almost no combat until late in the game, your primary enemy is the artificial island you're on that's just suffered an earthquake so massive the whole thing is starting to crumble and sink. Walks across unstable debris are made worse by sudden aftershocks, and in the distance you can see skyscrapers crumble. Every aftershock is made worse when you realize that you have to make instant decisions: do you stay in once place and hope the structure you're in is secure, or do you run because you're in a place that's either about to have the floor fall out from under you or have a new building land on it?
It does involve a lot of reloading and memorizing where debris falls, but since most of the game play surrounds pathfinding, helping other survivors, and trying to uncover the island's hidden secret before it all gets swallowed up by the ocean, I really didn't mind it that much. It was the first game that really showed me that a game environment can be more than just pretty pictures, it can be an active character (and enemy) in itself.
#9. Board Game Top Shop
Board Game Top Shop is Monopoly, pure and simple, but taken to such insane levels that it becomes a brand new game in of itself. You start the game as a giant cat who wants to become one of the richest beings in the land, and to do so you have to compete against other characters in buying up every store in major shopping malls, constantly worrying about the actions of a kid of indeterminate gender in a frog suit, an escapee from a 70s TV series, and Santa Claus. That's right, you're trying to bankrupt Santa Claus.
But in all seriousness, I used to play this with a group of friends (it supports up to 6 people!) and the fun was nonstop. Escalators give you options to aim towards or avoid certain stores, you can expand your store into more floor space, bringing up the value of the items you sell, but be careful! Once your stock is emptied, someone else can buy your store right out from under you! Quite simply one of the best party games I've ever played, inclusion of random events (random stores close, money gets redistributed, and other insane events) keep the playing field level. Great fun, highly recommended.
#8. Koudelka
Koudelka is an extremely obscure RPG for the Sony Playstation, and a game that I have a particular soft spot for. It's the (easily) forgotten prequel to the more-than-stellar Shadow Hearts series for the PS2, featuring a young gypsy woman with mysterious powers who teams up with an adventurer and a priest, three strangers who "happen" to all be at the same mysterious monastery on the same evening.
The combat is rather clunky, the graphics are now seriously outdated, but the storyline is still one of my favorites, and if anybody out there played Shadow Hearts, you should find a copy of the prequel.
#7. Final Fantasy Adventure
One of the first "RPGs" I ever played, this game is actually based off of the "Mana" series in Japan. For some reason, they changed the name to tie in to the popular Final Fantasy series, despite the fact that one of the major goals of the game is to get to the "Mana Tree." It allowed you, the protagonist, to team up with a different NPC during each chapter, from a young woman who healed you any time you were injured (very handy) to a dwarf who fixated on finding silver (not as handy). Plus, you got to ride a giant bird around a desert in one section, and you can't tell me that isn't fun.
It also had what I believe is still the MOST requested explanation for a clue in the pages of Nintendo Power magazine:
Seriously, game designers. What the hell. Even now, looking at that clue, and remembering that this was in the days before the internet when all you had to rely on was people mailing questions to magazines in the hopes it would get answered...well, even now I see red. God, that was a terrible puzzle. Still a fun game, though, and the first time I wanted to cry at a game's ending.
#6. Beach Spikers
This game is a purely guilty pleasure, but a fun one. As I said before, I enjoy beach volleyball video games, as it allows me to be good at a sport I have no business playing (beach or otherwise). The controls were intuitive, the play was smooth, the graphics were great for the time, and the fact I could customize my team to look like Barbara Gordon and Dinah Lance from DC Comics (complete with police outfits that looked like they fell out of Gotham) made it all the better.
Plus, no characters were re-aged to "?" to make you feel like you weren't being a pedophile.
#5. Beyond Good & Evil
There really isn't much I can say to add to all the acclaim this game received when it first came out, except to say that if you've heard of it and haven't thought of playing it, you have no right to call yourself a true video game fan, and that you're probably a terrible person.
The story involves a young woman named Jade (and her uncle, a talking pig who wears clothes, because shut up, that's why) who gets caught up in a mystery involving a continuously-occurring alien invasion, the military police force who protect the people, and mysterious disappearances of citizens. And the way she solves this mystery is with the most fearsome weapon to be in video games during these days...first person cameras!
...not the game perspective, I mean an actual camera. One you take pictures with. From a first person point of view.
Because, after all, what better way to save the world than with the key tool from Pokemon Snap?
Anyway, the game play and combat are very tight, and the open world design means you can go off on side missions rather easily, be it entering your hovercraft in river races, taking pictures of wildlife for a nature magazine publisher, or just exploring every nook and cranny makes the world one I really wish we'd get to see again in the continuously postponed sequel.
#4. Block Out
This is a game whose time, I feel, has come back around. Picture, if you will, a grid, anywhere from 3x3 to 5x5. Now, imagine that grid is actually the bottom of a long chamber that you have to drop complex Tetris-like blocks down...except the blocks are also 3D, so they can go left, right, up, and down. Fill in a complete layer across the grid, and the blocks vanish and shrink back down a level. Let the levels fill up, and it's game over. And remember, you're dropping these from -above-, so it's sometimes hard to determine whether that peg sticking out the bottom is actually going to fit in that one tiny hole you left in the layer below it.
Excellent game, and one I still relish playing sometimes.
#3. Parasite Eve
I showed this game at the beginning, so hopefully nobody's really surprised, but this game scared the hell out of me when I played it. A survival horror RPG, with a really unique idea (remember those mitochondria you learned about in biology? The things that aren't really part of humans but we can't live without? Yeah, what if someone could control them into reshaping and destroying their host bodies, or turning the bodies into monsters?), this game combined dazzling graphics with superb game play to make every moment not playing it time spent wishing I had a controller in my hand.
Plus, you fight a T-Rex in a museum, and the final boss fight is "lure the unstoppable monster deep inside a naval vessel, rig the boilers to blow the whole ship up, and then haul ass." It's easily one of the best RPGs I've ever played, and is only slightly marred by the "so-so" sequel and don't even get me started on the recent release that turns it into an action game. Ugh.
#2. Streets of Rage 3
This game is just a classic, in the style of Final Fight and Double Dragon, that involved you battling Mr. X's gang in an attempt to save the city from crime, bombs, robot duplicates, and other plot points that are poorly explained because seriously, who cares about the plot? Bonus points, though, when your plan involves a "robot duplicate" of the police chief...that's planning big.
You could play as Axel, the guy with the flaming uppercut, Blaze, the woman in the microskirt who loved to kick really high in 16-bit graphics, Dr. Zan, who was an old asian man with a Go-Go-Gadget extendo arm that delivered electric shocks, or Skate (not shown on the cover cause he was lame), a young urban black teen who wears roller skates and break dances.
Or, if you're like me, you play the game for one reason and one reason only...
...to play as a boxing kangaroo against guys on motorcycles, dominatrix-women with whips, and getting into a punching match against a slowly-advancing bulldozer. And that's for real.
I'll admit it, I still play the hell out of this game just for fun. Take a traditional RPG, except that instead of random encounters, a starship teleports you into it so that you can scroll to the right and shoot everything that moves, getting XP for every creature killed.
The plot line is wonderfully bizarre, you're an Earth ship pilot who was captured by the "evil" aliens (that freaky purple girl is one of them) and you become a double agent, working for the aliens while still reporting back to Earth what the invasion plans are. However, the plot gets wonderfully complex, the character interactions are both hilarious and poignant, and the shooting...well, those style of shooting games are one of my true guilty pleasures. I don't think this game sold well, but it's definitely worth picking up anywhere you can find it, be it emulator or perhaps on the Nintendo Store on a Wii.
There are certainly better games I've forgotten than these, but these are the games I remember having a great time playing and never really hear anybody mention much anymore (the exception being Beyond Good & Evil, but it's special because it really is that good).
And the one game I'm glad it seems people have forgotten?
F-Zero for the Gamecube. I broke four controllers in fits of rage playing that game.
Reviewing is Magic: Episode 1
Blogs have transformed journalism. What used to require travel, editing, and a lengthy printing process now reaches the masses in the blink of an eye. Updates from major news moments occur in real time, and having a blog becomes a privilege for those willing to put themselves out there, but also a responsibility to make sure it is used in a manner that serves not just the writer, but also the reader.
So, on that note: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
This series first crossed my radar when I listened to an episode of Talkin' Toons, a podcast done by voice actor (and overall great human being) Rob Paulsen. His guest that week was the incredibly talented (and ridiculously good looking) Tara Strong. From that interview I learned of the Bronys, a term I had previously heard as something akin to a derogatory word. Time passed, and the idea of men watching the show passed as nothing more than a cultural curiosity, albeit it one I could never judge too harshly on, having grown up sitting through episodes of Jem and the Holograms and She-Ra: Princess of Power in order to get to other programs. The less said about my brief stint watching Totally Spies while unemployed is a topic for another day (It's Clueless meets James Bond, and one is voiced by Commander Shepard! What's not to like?)
The series crossed my radar again with several articles written by blogger, humorist, and Batmanologist Chris Sims of the Comics Alliance. His description of some of the themes and challenges intrigued me, and phrases such as "a bear made out of outer space" only whet an appetite I was, up to now, unaware I had. Flashbacks to when I first attempted to eat a fried banana at an Indonesian restaurant or when a friend showed me a television show devoted entirely to myths and debunking them with high explosives flooded back to me.
And so, in the spirit of "I <insert verb here> so you don't have to (but in some cases you totally should)," I present my new series reviewing episodes of a television show that first came out in 2010. Because everybody deserves to know about a show thisabsolutely insane interesting.
So, because the first two episodes are a two-parter, I'm breaking this post into two parts. Normally I'd just summarize a bit more, but thisencourages me to post more show deserves an insightful look. I'll do my best to stick to initial opinions, but some hints/spoilers from future episodes will surface.
So, episode one, "Mare In The Moon" begins with a history of the kingdom of Equestria. And I'm going to say this right now, I love when a show plays with a theme, and MLP milks the "pony" theme for all it's worth. "Anybody" becomes "anypony." "Everybody" is "everypony." Their kingdom is named Equestria because of course it is. What else would they call it?
So the nation used to be ruled by two sisters, one who used her magical control over the sun (!) to force it to rise every morning, and the other wou'd control the night and make the moon rise. The younger sister feels jealous because nights aren't as appreciated as days, she goes bitter, and her attempts to plunge the world into darkness causes her to be banished inside the moon. For a thousand years. Ponys don't shank.
This also means that the other royal pony has to be on charge of the sun and the moon from that day forward. This is important, but doesn't really affect the plot in any significant way except to point out that damn, there are some potent magical abilities going on in this show.
I'll be honest, though, it took me until later to realize that the evil sister's new name, "Nightmare Moon" has the word "mare" built right in. Well played, ponys.
The first real character we meet is Twilight Sparkle. That's a real name, and not the description of what vampires are now famous for. She's a student to the ruler of Equestria, a total bookworm, and has a pet baby dragon named Spike because I don't know how pets really work in this world.
I'll be honest, in this episode the only thing, animation-wise, that really bothers me is Spike. I always just get the feeling his eyes are floating an inch in front of his face, and his movements aren't as clean. But that's nitpicking, because I'll be absolutely honest here...the animation on this show is superb. The characters are expressive, the mouths move with the voices, the backgrounds have ridiculous detail to them, and there are little throwaway moments during scenes that are clean and easy to pick out.
Twilight's the only pony who seems to realize that a prophecy claiming the "Mare of the Moon" will be freed is about to come true during a major celebration, and the only thing that can stop her from banishing the sun forever are the "elements of harmony." But her attempts to warn others are thwarted by a royal edict declaring "get your nose out of those books, go check in on the preparations for the ceremony, and make some friends you recluse." That's not the exact wording, but the spirit's there.
Twilight Sparkle is sent to Ponyville (because of course) where she meets the five other major members of the cast. First is Applejack, and if I'm being completely honest, I'll admit that she is one of my favorite characters on this show, and in the short running for "favorite new character of 2012." I'll do more extensive character reviews later, but it's just awesome that, in this world, the most effective way to harvest apples is to kick the crap out of trees until they give up their bounty.
And if that doesn't work, she'll just lasso them straight off the branch. And she wears an awesome hat. Hats always get bonus points.
The next pony met is Rainbow Dash, a winged pony whose job is to control the weather by kicking and punching clouds so hard they explode. I promise you, I'm not making any of this up. Such precise weather control allows for pushing clouds across the sky, causing miniature rainstorms, and even generating lightning with a swift hoof to the cumulus solar plexus. She's also extremely proud of the fact that she's one of the most accomplished fliers in the land, reaching rather ridiculous speeds for a winged equine.
No, I don't know how weather works in Equestria, either. But a later episodes shows us the factories where weather's "built." Go figure.
We next meet Rarity (no last name), another unicorn like Twilight Sparkle, and thus also able to use magic. I'll admit, I've always hated characters like Rarity. Prissy, afraid of getting "dirty" and completely into fashion and little else, it took me a loooooong time to warm up to this character. She was squarely in the same camp I put Baby Piggy in Muppet Babies, Daphne in Scooby-Doo, and Michelle in the comic strip "Curtis."
The next pony is another pegasus, Fluttershy, and this is where I get stripped of my "Man Card." I am totally Fluttershy. I'm not just saying that because of the "What Pony Are You?" quiz I took during a recent bout of insomnia, but because I see so much of myself in that character when I was growing up. Fluttershy is kind and caring, but has a small problem with being social with strangers. Her attempts to say her name to Twilight Sparkle come out as a mumble and only get worse with repeated attempts. She freezes up and gets uncomfortable in large social groups, Granted, I'm not quite to this extreme (I don't squeak when trying to talk, for instance), but man. If Applejack is my character find of 2012, this is my "they must be reading mydiary thoughts when they write for this character" moment.
The last new pony we meet is Pinkie Pie, and I'll admit, I've never been fond of the zany, crazy, talkssofastyouhavetolistenthreetimestounderstandwhattheysay characters, but again...in this show, it works. It takes a few episodes for me to accept it works, but since the character holds to the same "type" of crazy with only a few moments of going more extreme, it at least shows a consistant character, and one whose craziness never overrides the basic ideas of the show, namely "friends come first." Plus, the other ponies do enough talking about how insane Pinkie is to let me feel confident that it's not just me. Again, we'll get deeper in the character later, but for now trust me that Pinkie Pie is to MLP what Deadpool is to comic books.
Anyway, after meeting all the ponies and having each of them, in their own way, claim her as their newest best friend (and Twilight Sparkle essentially sigh with disgust at the idea of meeting new people), we come to the big celebration where Princess Celestia (again, what else do you call a pony who forces the sun and moon to do what she wants out of sheer willpower?) is supposed to show up and make the sun rise...but instead, she disappears, and the Mare of the Moon appears, lording it over all the ponies with her magical power and bragging how the sun will never rise again. But first she has to take out the pony "royal guard" with lightning bolts to the face. Nice to know that being stuck in the moon for a thousand years hasn't softened her up any.
At this point, it jumps to a "To Be Continued!" So let's break it down:
The Good:
I've said it before, but the animation for the most part is top-notch. The story does a superb job of introducing the characters and giving us everything we need to know about their personalities, and nothing really feels like filler. The plot itself would fit in pretty much any setting trying to tell an epic story, and if you can get over the fact that these are talking ponys, it becomes pretty fun.
Again, another shout out for Applejack, who I did not expect to find in a series like this. She reminds me a lot of Rogue from the 90s X-Men cartoon, except I don't hate her so intensely that it puts me off southern accents for several years. Also, another nod to Fluttershy for being the pony who makes me sigh and go "man, I've so been there" when I watch her try to interact with her peers.
The voice work is superb, and the voice staff have enough experience to be able to fully flesh out the previously mentioned personalities without going completely over the top.
The Bad:
Well, nothing's perfect. Spike's animations bug me somewhat, but just because it isn't as clean or as deep as the rest of the animation (even background characters do a better job of looking complete). Rarity is given the least personality outside of "I decorate, like to do makeovers, and totally want to get out of this dump and both hob and nob with the elites." Plus, the scene where Twilight Sparkle was delivered to Ponyville in a chariot drawn by two winged horses just felt somewhat uncomfortable, since the only response they give her thanks is a mix between a grunt and a whinny.
Overall:
As I said before, this show really didn't have to be this good. Al I really remember of the original cartoon was it was essentally "Care Bears, but with horses, and nobody shoots rainbows out of their stomach to make bad guys explode." Overall you can look past any gender issues in the show (Rarity excluded, of course) and simply enjoy a well-built story that happens to have an almost entirely female cast. It's easy to understand how the "Brony" culture came around, and in today's world it really nice to have a show to bring up that goes "Hey, wouldn't it be great if people could just be nice to each other to solve their problems?"
For its purpose, I give the episode a solid B+, docked from A status only for a few minor quibbles.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to watch the Expendables to see if I can get my "Man Card" back.
So, on that note: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
This series first crossed my radar when I listened to an episode of Talkin' Toons, a podcast done by voice actor (and overall great human being) Rob Paulsen. His guest that week was the incredibly talented (and ridiculously good looking) Tara Strong. From that interview I learned of the Bronys, a term I had previously heard as something akin to a derogatory word. Time passed, and the idea of men watching the show passed as nothing more than a cultural curiosity, albeit it one I could never judge too harshly on, having grown up sitting through episodes of Jem and the Holograms and She-Ra: Princess of Power in order to get to other programs. The less said about my brief stint watching Totally Spies while unemployed is a topic for another day (It's Clueless meets James Bond, and one is voiced by Commander Shepard! What's not to like?)
The series crossed my radar again with several articles written by blogger, humorist, and Batmanologist Chris Sims of the Comics Alliance. His description of some of the themes and challenges intrigued me, and phrases such as "a bear made out of outer space" only whet an appetite I was, up to now, unaware I had. Flashbacks to when I first attempted to eat a fried banana at an Indonesian restaurant or when a friend showed me a television show devoted entirely to myths and debunking them with high explosives flooded back to me.
And so, in the spirit of "I <insert verb here> so you don't have to (but in some cases you totally should)," I present my new series reviewing episodes of a television show that first came out in 2010. Because everybody deserves to know about a show this
So, because the first two episodes are a two-parter, I'm breaking this post into two parts. Normally I'd just summarize a bit more, but this
So, episode one, "Mare In The Moon" begins with a history of the kingdom of Equestria. And I'm going to say this right now, I love when a show plays with a theme, and MLP milks the "pony" theme for all it's worth. "Anybody" becomes "anypony." "Everybody" is "everypony." Their kingdom is named Equestria because of course it is. What else would they call it?
So the nation used to be ruled by two sisters, one who used her magical control over the sun (!) to force it to rise every morning, and the other wou'd control the night and make the moon rise. The younger sister feels jealous because nights aren't as appreciated as days, she goes bitter, and her attempts to plunge the world into darkness causes her to be banished inside the moon. For a thousand years. Ponys don't shank.
This also means that the other royal pony has to be on charge of the sun and the moon from that day forward. This is important, but doesn't really affect the plot in any significant way except to point out that damn, there are some potent magical abilities going on in this show.
I'll be honest, though, it took me until later to realize that the evil sister's new name, "Nightmare Moon" has the word "mare" built right in. Well played, ponys.
The first real character we meet is Twilight Sparkle. That's a real name, and not the description of what vampires are now famous for. She's a student to the ruler of Equestria, a total bookworm, and has a pet baby dragon named Spike because I don't know how pets really work in this world.
I'll be honest, in this episode the only thing, animation-wise, that really bothers me is Spike. I always just get the feeling his eyes are floating an inch in front of his face, and his movements aren't as clean. But that's nitpicking, because I'll be absolutely honest here...the animation on this show is superb. The characters are expressive, the mouths move with the voices, the backgrounds have ridiculous detail to them, and there are little throwaway moments during scenes that are clean and easy to pick out.
Twilight's the only pony who seems to realize that a prophecy claiming the "Mare of the Moon" will be freed is about to come true during a major celebration, and the only thing that can stop her from banishing the sun forever are the "elements of harmony." But her attempts to warn others are thwarted by a royal edict declaring "get your nose out of those books, go check in on the preparations for the ceremony, and make some friends you recluse." That's not the exact wording, but the spirit's there.
Twilight Sparkle is sent to Ponyville (because of course) where she meets the five other major members of the cast. First is Applejack, and if I'm being completely honest, I'll admit that she is one of my favorite characters on this show, and in the short running for "favorite new character of 2012." I'll do more extensive character reviews later, but it's just awesome that, in this world, the most effective way to harvest apples is to kick the crap out of trees until they give up their bounty.
And if that doesn't work, she'll just lasso them straight off the branch. And she wears an awesome hat. Hats always get bonus points.
No, I don't know how weather works in Equestria, either. But a later episodes shows us the factories where weather's "built." Go figure.
We next meet Rarity (no last name), another unicorn like Twilight Sparkle, and thus also able to use magic. I'll admit, I've always hated characters like Rarity. Prissy, afraid of getting "dirty" and completely into fashion and little else, it took me a loooooong time to warm up to this character. She was squarely in the same camp I put Baby Piggy in Muppet Babies, Daphne in Scooby-Doo, and Michelle in the comic strip "Curtis."
The next pony is another pegasus, Fluttershy, and this is where I get stripped of my "Man Card." I am totally Fluttershy. I'm not just saying that because of the "What Pony Are You?" quiz I took during a recent bout of insomnia, but because I see so much of myself in that character when I was growing up. Fluttershy is kind and caring, but has a small problem with being social with strangers. Her attempts to say her name to Twilight Sparkle come out as a mumble and only get worse with repeated attempts. She freezes up and gets uncomfortable in large social groups, Granted, I'm not quite to this extreme (I don't squeak when trying to talk, for instance), but man. If Applejack is my character find of 2012, this is my "they must be reading my
The last new pony we meet is Pinkie Pie, and I'll admit, I've never been fond of the zany, crazy, talkssofastyouhavetolistenthreetimestounderstandwhattheysay characters, but again...in this show, it works. It takes a few episodes for me to accept it works, but since the character holds to the same "type" of crazy with only a few moments of going more extreme, it at least shows a consistant character, and one whose craziness never overrides the basic ideas of the show, namely "friends come first." Plus, the other ponies do enough talking about how insane Pinkie is to let me feel confident that it's not just me. Again, we'll get deeper in the character later, but for now trust me that Pinkie Pie is to MLP what Deadpool is to comic books.
Anyway, after meeting all the ponies and having each of them, in their own way, claim her as their newest best friend (and Twilight Sparkle essentially sigh with disgust at the idea of meeting new people), we come to the big celebration where Princess Celestia (again, what else do you call a pony who forces the sun and moon to do what she wants out of sheer willpower?) is supposed to show up and make the sun rise...but instead, she disappears, and the Mare of the Moon appears, lording it over all the ponies with her magical power and bragging how the sun will never rise again. But first she has to take out the pony "royal guard" with lightning bolts to the face. Nice to know that being stuck in the moon for a thousand years hasn't softened her up any.
At this point, it jumps to a "To Be Continued!" So let's break it down:
The Good:
I've said it before, but the animation for the most part is top-notch. The story does a superb job of introducing the characters and giving us everything we need to know about their personalities, and nothing really feels like filler. The plot itself would fit in pretty much any setting trying to tell an epic story, and if you can get over the fact that these are talking ponys, it becomes pretty fun.
Again, another shout out for Applejack, who I did not expect to find in a series like this. She reminds me a lot of Rogue from the 90s X-Men cartoon, except I don't hate her so intensely that it puts me off southern accents for several years. Also, another nod to Fluttershy for being the pony who makes me sigh and go "man, I've so been there" when I watch her try to interact with her peers.
The voice work is superb, and the voice staff have enough experience to be able to fully flesh out the previously mentioned personalities without going completely over the top.
The Bad:
Well, nothing's perfect. Spike's animations bug me somewhat, but just because it isn't as clean or as deep as the rest of the animation (even background characters do a better job of looking complete). Rarity is given the least personality outside of "I decorate, like to do makeovers, and totally want to get out of this dump and both hob and nob with the elites." Plus, the scene where Twilight Sparkle was delivered to Ponyville in a chariot drawn by two winged horses just felt somewhat uncomfortable, since the only response they give her thanks is a mix between a grunt and a whinny.
Overall:
As I said before, this show really didn't have to be this good. Al I really remember of the original cartoon was it was essentally "Care Bears, but with horses, and nobody shoots rainbows out of their stomach to make bad guys explode." Overall you can look past any gender issues in the show (Rarity excluded, of course) and simply enjoy a well-built story that happens to have an almost entirely female cast. It's easy to understand how the "Brony" culture came around, and in today's world it really nice to have a show to bring up that goes "Hey, wouldn't it be great if people could just be nice to each other to solve their problems?"
For its purpose, I give the episode a solid B+, docked from A status only for a few minor quibbles.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to watch the Expendables to see if I can get my "Man Card" back.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
So I'll freely admit, my attempts to create a long-running Blog have hit a few snags. Part of the problem is trying to post about events after they've happened. The rest is just...life.
But, the true sign of character is trying again even after stumbling. So on that note, let's discuss Life of Pi and Sherlock, Jr.
I caught Life of Pi (in THREEEEEEE-DEEEEEE) on Friday, and the most trite thing I could possibly say is "I enjoyed it." For me to "enjoy" a movie, one of five things needs to happen:
1) It needs to affect me on an emotional level. This is where movies that range from Marley and Me to Iron Jawed Angels fall. I leave the movie-watching experience not feeling like the same person anymore.
2) The acting needs to simply blow me away. This is where you'll find films like On The Waterfront or Mystic River. These are the ones where an actor just manages to hit every mark dead on and you can see them swinging for the fences with every line.
3) I develop a complete respect for the craftsmen involved. These movies are a bit trickier. This can be either a producer or director who I think crafted a very well-made movie (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World), or one of the stars has such a gift at something that I can't help but enjoy it (Amy Adams' performance in Enchanted, or Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in Top Hat).
4) It's so bad, it's hilarious. Yor: The Hunter From The Future resides here, and I suspect the last Twilight movie, from what I've heard, would as well.
5) It's just fun without insulting me. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang resides here, as does Maverick and Iron Man.
Life of Pi falls in the third camp with some heavy leanings towards the first and second. There are a lot of comparisons to it right now as being the next Avatar (which I also enjoyed), but it is not anywhere near as big a visual feast as Avatar. Of course, I also didn't see it in IMAX, so for all I know, I missed out. But here's what I do know:
Life of Pi is better, visually, than Avatar, and the story works on levels Avatar couldn't even manage with double what James Cameron paid into it. Instead of assaulting the eyes with 3D effects, Ang Lee manages to use 3D to add a layer of depth to the film, making you feel like it naturally belongs, and that it's never being used to assault or surprise the audience in a way that feels cheap. There are scenes involving water and people moving through water that simply astonish and amaze.
I also have to give the film credit for the tiger. The movie does not make anything sentimental about the tiger. This is a wild animal, and not some creature from Disney that we learn does have a human side to it. This is established early on, and how the human in this movie learns to try to control the beast and how the animal learns that it has to adapt to the person being in its space has as much tension to it as wondering just how the main character could survive in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Overall, I enjoyed this movie more than I did anything else I saw this year...except for Sherlock, Jr.
Sherlock, Jr. is movie starring Buster Keaton filmed in 1924, and this movie falls squarely into third camp as well. It's freely available to watch online through Vimeo, but I was able to catch a viewing on Turner Classic Movies. Nobody, and I say nobody had more dedication to their craft than Buster Keaton, pulling stunts and falls in films that had never been done before, and were probably never done again without stuntmen, gimmicks, or CG. To watch this movie is to see someone who loved movies and would do whatever it took to make them memorable.
For instance, there's a scene in the film where our main character leaps into a movie screen and moves around, even while the movie scenes around him change. Now, keeping in mind that this isn't done as a close-up of the screen, but is seen from the theater's point of view, it's important to note that when the scene changes (say from the front door of a building to the edge of a cliff or a jungle scene with lions), that Buster Keaton had to remain absolutely motionless while the sets were changed, and fancy equipment was brought in to make sure everything remained perfectly level. Then, when filming began, you got as near a perfect cut as you could with the actor. Other visual gags (one involving a pool table that I still cannot figure out) seem almost on par with the CG work done today, and there are times I had to remind myself "Wait...they didn't have computers back then...how the hell did they do that?" I honestly cannot remember the time before that when a movie made me feel so alive and full of laughter and happiness to watch, and the pratfalls and jokes that happen then still feel fresh to the actors involved.
I'll also tell this small story that's been circulated for years: There's a scene in the movie where Buster Keaton runs atop a train that's pulling out of a station, and he manages to grab hold of one of the large pipes that fills the steam engine with water. It slowly and gracefully starts to lower him to the ground, when a huge burst of water suddenly pours out and slams him into the ground. He gets up, there's one more pratfall sight gag, and he runs off.
Now, as the story goes, he complained for a day of having a severely bad headache, but soon went back to work, falling and jumping and making great films. Ten years later, at a routine exam, his doctor asked him when he broke his neck. Buster Keaton had no memory of such an event, but his doctor showed him on an x-ray where he had scar tissue surrounding where there had been a neck fracture. They realized it must've happened when he was slammed into the ground by a jet of water.
Somehow I don't expect many Hollywood stars would be so able to get back to work after such an injury. And it's that dedication to the craft that elevates this film up to probably one of the best I've ever seen.
But, the true sign of character is trying again even after stumbling. So on that note, let's discuss Life of Pi and Sherlock, Jr.
I caught Life of Pi (in THREEEEEEE-DEEEEEE) on Friday, and the most trite thing I could possibly say is "I enjoyed it." For me to "enjoy" a movie, one of five things needs to happen:
1) It needs to affect me on an emotional level. This is where movies that range from Marley and Me to Iron Jawed Angels fall. I leave the movie-watching experience not feeling like the same person anymore.
2) The acting needs to simply blow me away. This is where you'll find films like On The Waterfront or Mystic River. These are the ones where an actor just manages to hit every mark dead on and you can see them swinging for the fences with every line.
3) I develop a complete respect for the craftsmen involved. These movies are a bit trickier. This can be either a producer or director who I think crafted a very well-made movie (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World), or one of the stars has such a gift at something that I can't help but enjoy it (Amy Adams' performance in Enchanted, or Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in Top Hat).
4) It's so bad, it's hilarious. Yor: The Hunter From The Future resides here, and I suspect the last Twilight movie, from what I've heard, would as well.
5) It's just fun without insulting me. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang resides here, as does Maverick and Iron Man.
Life of Pi falls in the third camp with some heavy leanings towards the first and second. There are a lot of comparisons to it right now as being the next Avatar (which I also enjoyed), but it is not anywhere near as big a visual feast as Avatar. Of course, I also didn't see it in IMAX, so for all I know, I missed out. But here's what I do know:
Life of Pi is better, visually, than Avatar, and the story works on levels Avatar couldn't even manage with double what James Cameron paid into it. Instead of assaulting the eyes with 3D effects, Ang Lee manages to use 3D to add a layer of depth to the film, making you feel like it naturally belongs, and that it's never being used to assault or surprise the audience in a way that feels cheap. There are scenes involving water and people moving through water that simply astonish and amaze.
I also have to give the film credit for the tiger. The movie does not make anything sentimental about the tiger. This is a wild animal, and not some creature from Disney that we learn does have a human side to it. This is established early on, and how the human in this movie learns to try to control the beast and how the animal learns that it has to adapt to the person being in its space has as much tension to it as wondering just how the main character could survive in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Overall, I enjoyed this movie more than I did anything else I saw this year...except for Sherlock, Jr.
Sherlock, Jr. is movie starring Buster Keaton filmed in 1924, and this movie falls squarely into third camp as well. It's freely available to watch online through Vimeo, but I was able to catch a viewing on Turner Classic Movies. Nobody, and I say nobody had more dedication to their craft than Buster Keaton, pulling stunts and falls in films that had never been done before, and were probably never done again without stuntmen, gimmicks, or CG. To watch this movie is to see someone who loved movies and would do whatever it took to make them memorable.
For instance, there's a scene in the film where our main character leaps into a movie screen and moves around, even while the movie scenes around him change. Now, keeping in mind that this isn't done as a close-up of the screen, but is seen from the theater's point of view, it's important to note that when the scene changes (say from the front door of a building to the edge of a cliff or a jungle scene with lions), that Buster Keaton had to remain absolutely motionless while the sets were changed, and fancy equipment was brought in to make sure everything remained perfectly level. Then, when filming began, you got as near a perfect cut as you could with the actor. Other visual gags (one involving a pool table that I still cannot figure out) seem almost on par with the CG work done today, and there are times I had to remind myself "Wait...they didn't have computers back then...how the hell did they do that?" I honestly cannot remember the time before that when a movie made me feel so alive and full of laughter and happiness to watch, and the pratfalls and jokes that happen then still feel fresh to the actors involved.
I'll also tell this small story that's been circulated for years: There's a scene in the movie where Buster Keaton runs atop a train that's pulling out of a station, and he manages to grab hold of one of the large pipes that fills the steam engine with water. It slowly and gracefully starts to lower him to the ground, when a huge burst of water suddenly pours out and slams him into the ground. He gets up, there's one more pratfall sight gag, and he runs off.
Now, as the story goes, he complained for a day of having a severely bad headache, but soon went back to work, falling and jumping and making great films. Ten years later, at a routine exam, his doctor asked him when he broke his neck. Buster Keaton had no memory of such an event, but his doctor showed him on an x-ray where he had scar tissue surrounding where there had been a neck fracture. They realized it must've happened when he was slammed into the ground by a jet of water.
Somehow I don't expect many Hollywood stars would be so able to get back to work after such an injury. And it's that dedication to the craft that elevates this film up to probably one of the best I've ever seen.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Like the last one, this post won't make me a lot of friends either, but here goes: let's talk about casinos.
Now, I don't have a many pictures for this one. The times I spent on tribal land, I saw a lot of things that made me ask a lot of tough questions. However, taking pictures not only seemed like poor taste, but it's also a practice the tribe frowns on. As my father explained, the tribe doesn't really appreciate their experiences being exploited for the media. Since this is technically a blog, I figured I'd respect that.
Now, a little bit of history of the area. The tribal lands I saw the most of belonged to the Salt River tribe, located just across an underpass from Phoenix. It really is as simple as simply making a left turn and boom, you're on a land controlled by its own government, with its own laws and justice system. (Legal alert: when the speed limit on a tribal land road says "25 mph" you drive 25 mph)
Something important to note is that the members of the tribe don't own any of the land themselves, the tribe owns it. The Salt River tribe (and many others) believe that a person cannot "own" the land they are on, you're simply "using" it. Therefore, plots of land are simply being "used" by families, but they cannot simply do what they want with the land because they are not the "owner" of said plot.
Indirect thought: I commented to someone recently that, when you look at things happening in the universe and see the scope of events, disasters, and wondrous creations, it becomes harder to get your brain back into being able to "appreciate" smaller versions of things happening here. One such thing was when I learned about the tribe's perspective on land "ownership" was right after my evening at the observatory. I was still coming down from seeing entire other galaxies, and hearing that a group of people don't feel it's possible to "own" land really seemed to connect with that same "grander" scale of thinking. Anyway, back on topic.
There is a lot of tribal land still undeveloped. The phrase "dirt poor" wasn't just a turn of phrase for them. Families lived in single room shacks or trailers, many of which were in total disrepair when I saw them (to be honest they didn't look like much to begin with). There was no irrigation, very little plumbing. The tribe couldn't grow anything besides dust and cactus, and they relied on the city for their resources. Poverty was rampant, and with poverty came having to rely on cheaper foods, which caused health issues to skyrocket.
Now, the tribe has two casinos. Each member on the tribe who lives on tribal land now gets a share of the casino's profits. I don't know how much that is, but the Puyallup tribe in Washington State gets about 25 to 30 thousand per member, and they control one of the most important shipping ports in the west coast. Any member of the tribe who wants a job at the casino gets one (after all, each one has a stake in it, so why not?). And where has that money gone?
Right next to barren, dust-layered lots, there are now acres of fields of corn. Gardens are everywhere, thanks to the latest in irrigation being used to in water. Trailers and shacks are being hauled off of the land and demolished, replaced with simple houses families can raise their children in. I saw a new house being built next to an old trailer a family had lived in with the ceiling almost completely collapsed. It looked like someone dropped a car on it, or something from space landed smack in the center of the building. Streets are actually paved.
The people of the Salt River tribe are healthier (they still have a ways to go, as do we all, since junk food and fatty food is still so widely available), and they're also more active in the community around them. They're turning what was once a wasteland into a place people can actually survive on.
Now, here's where I get political. If you want to skip this, scroll down past the picture of the casino I visited for a few more rambling thoughts.
In 1980 the Maine Indian Claims Settlement Act was put in place, paying the tribes $81.5 million dollars in exchange for the tribes giving up all claims to land in Maine (their original suit against the state called for the return of what would've been 60% of Maine to be handed over to them). One provision was that all tribes are subject to Maine law, and that any future federal legislation regarding Indian tribes had to include special language specifically discussing the Maine tribes, or Maine would refuse to acknowledge it.
The Indian Gaming Regulatory Act was passed in 1988, and it did not have any special language in it to include the Maine tribes, so Maine's "no gambling" laws trumped the federal law stating that governments are required to negotiate with tribes to allow casinos to be built. As far as I'm aware, Maine is the only state to limit its tribes this way.
There have been many appeals, all of them shot down by the federal courts, and so this is why Maine has the only tribes that are required to let people vote whether or not they can have the same opportunities as every other Indian tribe in the United States. Hoo-ray.
But that's a longer topic for another day. Here's what I wanted to discuss: the arguments. The biggest argument I heard in 2003 and again in 2007 was that allowing a casino would "increase crime" in areas. Commercials and ads promoting fear made it sound like every street corner would become a drug dealer's heaven, that robberies, rapes, and murder would run rampant, and the entire state would turn into New York, but "Escape From New York" New York.
Here's a fun fact: the Arizona tribal casinos and the surrounding area have ridiculously low crime. Many tribes outlaw drinking at all on their lands, meaning you don't even get drunk drivers heading home from losing their money and deciding to plow their cars into oncoming traffic. Why? Because it's tribal land. You grab someone's purse? Deputy Barney Fife can't come over and arrest you, you're getting taken down by the tribe's own personal police force. And the tribes don't think crime is very funny. You sell drugs or kill someone? Congratulations, you just committed a federal crime, meaning the DEA or FBI are on your ass, and they also don't have much of a sense of humor when it comes to crime. I also asked around to see how rampant crime was in Phoenix since the casinos went up. There are a lot of businesses on the other side of that overpass I mentioned before, and it didn't seem like crime spiked dramatically since the casino's construction.
Now, here's my other issue with Maine, and it can be summed up with a motto I often hear repeated: "The way life should be." Maine is very...quaint. I really get the impression that Maine wants everyone else in the nation to picture them as the first twenty seconds of "Murder, She Wrote." Angela Lansbury rides her bike down a quaint city street, walks with her fishing pole across a dock, runs in a field, waves to a passing boat...truly, a relaxing vacation spot for anybody willing to visit. Let me point out that opening was first played in 1984.
Now, I hear complaining about paper mills shutting down when more and more businesses strive to become "paper free" and more people read their news online than from newspapers. Attempts to bring in new power sources are spit upon because of their affect on nature, or are too noisy, or, and my personal favorite argument, "are ugly." I know several people who have told me, regarding Somali refugess who live here, that they understand why they had to flee their homeland, but a) "why don't they learn our language if they're going to live here?" b) "Why can't they understand that we don't do things their way?" or c) "Why are they so different?" NIMBY runs rampant, and, as a state, Maine seems determined to refuse to admit that it's becoming somewhat antiquated.
(Disclaimer: I'm not saying anybody's opinion is wrong, I'm simply stating things I observe and might, perhaps, strongly disagree with. People who state or believe the above things are not bad people, and having differing opinions is what fuels debate, advancement, and new ideas, and I encourage everybody to research topics and come to their own conclusions on matters.)
I hope Maine's aware that a state can still be a gorgeous nature preserve and have major industry and cities. Washington state has the only full rain forest in the continental US, and Seattle's just a short drive away. I could easily see Portland becoming another San Francisco or Seattle, finding a balance of "classic" tastes mixed with modern technology and business. You can't have an entire state of Cabot Cove, because, much like "Murder, She Wrote," the steadily-aging population will just keep dying off, and you won't see anybody new coming in to take their place as tourists- I mean, "guest stars."
Oh, and as for that "ugly" argument, the same one was used against building a casino here in Maine. Let me show you all the casino I stopped at in Arizona:
That's it. First floor is casino, the rest of the floors are hotel rooms. The casino itself wasn't as garish as the ones you see in movies from Hollywood either. They had a large open front area that let in some sunlight. It was noisy, but not so you couldn't hear yourself think. TVs located in different areas allowed people to keep track of what time it was (CNN, ESPN, and local news stations were playing when I was there). Maine's a big state, I don't think a building that size would suddenly appear as horrible as a pimple on a teenage girl's nose during prom.
Anyway, that's my quasi-political rant. This has been something weighing on my mind since the trip, and I know it's jumbled, not very clear, and I don't quote my references (a history of Maine's tribal disputes with the state government can be found at http://mainelaw.maine.edu/academics/maine-law-review/pdf/vol50_1/vol50_me_l_rev_143.pdf), but for an amateur blog post? I think it works.
Coming up next: The time a monkey jumped on my head.
Don't let the cuteness fool you.
Now, I don't have a many pictures for this one. The times I spent on tribal land, I saw a lot of things that made me ask a lot of tough questions. However, taking pictures not only seemed like poor taste, but it's also a practice the tribe frowns on. As my father explained, the tribe doesn't really appreciate their experiences being exploited for the media. Since this is technically a blog, I figured I'd respect that.
Now, a little bit of history of the area. The tribal lands I saw the most of belonged to the Salt River tribe, located just across an underpass from Phoenix. It really is as simple as simply making a left turn and boom, you're on a land controlled by its own government, with its own laws and justice system. (Legal alert: when the speed limit on a tribal land road says "25 mph" you drive 25 mph)
Something important to note is that the members of the tribe don't own any of the land themselves, the tribe owns it. The Salt River tribe (and many others) believe that a person cannot "own" the land they are on, you're simply "using" it. Therefore, plots of land are simply being "used" by families, but they cannot simply do what they want with the land because they are not the "owner" of said plot.
Indirect thought: I commented to someone recently that, when you look at things happening in the universe and see the scope of events, disasters, and wondrous creations, it becomes harder to get your brain back into being able to "appreciate" smaller versions of things happening here. One such thing was when I learned about the tribe's perspective on land "ownership" was right after my evening at the observatory. I was still coming down from seeing entire other galaxies, and hearing that a group of people don't feel it's possible to "own" land really seemed to connect with that same "grander" scale of thinking. Anyway, back on topic.
There is a lot of tribal land still undeveloped. The phrase "dirt poor" wasn't just a turn of phrase for them. Families lived in single room shacks or trailers, many of which were in total disrepair when I saw them (to be honest they didn't look like much to begin with). There was no irrigation, very little plumbing. The tribe couldn't grow anything besides dust and cactus, and they relied on the city for their resources. Poverty was rampant, and with poverty came having to rely on cheaper foods, which caused health issues to skyrocket.
Now, the tribe has two casinos. Each member on the tribe who lives on tribal land now gets a share of the casino's profits. I don't know how much that is, but the Puyallup tribe in Washington State gets about 25 to 30 thousand per member, and they control one of the most important shipping ports in the west coast. Any member of the tribe who wants a job at the casino gets one (after all, each one has a stake in it, so why not?). And where has that money gone?
Right next to barren, dust-layered lots, there are now acres of fields of corn. Gardens are everywhere, thanks to the latest in irrigation being used to in water. Trailers and shacks are being hauled off of the land and demolished, replaced with simple houses families can raise their children in. I saw a new house being built next to an old trailer a family had lived in with the ceiling almost completely collapsed. It looked like someone dropped a car on it, or something from space landed smack in the center of the building. Streets are actually paved.
The people of the Salt River tribe are healthier (they still have a ways to go, as do we all, since junk food and fatty food is still so widely available), and they're also more active in the community around them. They're turning what was once a wasteland into a place people can actually survive on.
Now, here's where I get political. If you want to skip this, scroll down past the picture of the casino I visited for a few more rambling thoughts.
In 1980 the Maine Indian Claims Settlement Act was put in place, paying the tribes $81.5 million dollars in exchange for the tribes giving up all claims to land in Maine (their original suit against the state called for the return of what would've been 60% of Maine to be handed over to them). One provision was that all tribes are subject to Maine law, and that any future federal legislation regarding Indian tribes had to include special language specifically discussing the Maine tribes, or Maine would refuse to acknowledge it.
The Indian Gaming Regulatory Act was passed in 1988, and it did not have any special language in it to include the Maine tribes, so Maine's "no gambling" laws trumped the federal law stating that governments are required to negotiate with tribes to allow casinos to be built. As far as I'm aware, Maine is the only state to limit its tribes this way.
There have been many appeals, all of them shot down by the federal courts, and so this is why Maine has the only tribes that are required to let people vote whether or not they can have the same opportunities as every other Indian tribe in the United States. Hoo-ray.
But that's a longer topic for another day. Here's what I wanted to discuss: the arguments. The biggest argument I heard in 2003 and again in 2007 was that allowing a casino would "increase crime" in areas. Commercials and ads promoting fear made it sound like every street corner would become a drug dealer's heaven, that robberies, rapes, and murder would run rampant, and the entire state would turn into New York, but "Escape From New York" New York.
Here's a fun fact: the Arizona tribal casinos and the surrounding area have ridiculously low crime. Many tribes outlaw drinking at all on their lands, meaning you don't even get drunk drivers heading home from losing their money and deciding to plow their cars into oncoming traffic. Why? Because it's tribal land. You grab someone's purse? Deputy Barney Fife can't come over and arrest you, you're getting taken down by the tribe's own personal police force. And the tribes don't think crime is very funny. You sell drugs or kill someone? Congratulations, you just committed a federal crime, meaning the DEA or FBI are on your ass, and they also don't have much of a sense of humor when it comes to crime. I also asked around to see how rampant crime was in Phoenix since the casinos went up. There are a lot of businesses on the other side of that overpass I mentioned before, and it didn't seem like crime spiked dramatically since the casino's construction.
Now, here's my other issue with Maine, and it can be summed up with a motto I often hear repeated: "The way life should be." Maine is very...quaint. I really get the impression that Maine wants everyone else in the nation to picture them as the first twenty seconds of "Murder, She Wrote." Angela Lansbury rides her bike down a quaint city street, walks with her fishing pole across a dock, runs in a field, waves to a passing boat...truly, a relaxing vacation spot for anybody willing to visit. Let me point out that opening was first played in 1984.
Now, I hear complaining about paper mills shutting down when more and more businesses strive to become "paper free" and more people read their news online than from newspapers. Attempts to bring in new power sources are spit upon because of their affect on nature, or are too noisy, or, and my personal favorite argument, "are ugly." I know several people who have told me, regarding Somali refugess who live here, that they understand why they had to flee their homeland, but a) "why don't they learn our language if they're going to live here?" b) "Why can't they understand that we don't do things their way?" or c) "Why are they so different?" NIMBY runs rampant, and, as a state, Maine seems determined to refuse to admit that it's becoming somewhat antiquated.
(Disclaimer: I'm not saying anybody's opinion is wrong, I'm simply stating things I observe and might, perhaps, strongly disagree with. People who state or believe the above things are not bad people, and having differing opinions is what fuels debate, advancement, and new ideas, and I encourage everybody to research topics and come to their own conclusions on matters.)
I hope Maine's aware that a state can still be a gorgeous nature preserve and have major industry and cities. Washington state has the only full rain forest in the continental US, and Seattle's just a short drive away. I could easily see Portland becoming another San Francisco or Seattle, finding a balance of "classic" tastes mixed with modern technology and business. You can't have an entire state of Cabot Cove, because, much like "Murder, She Wrote," the steadily-aging population will just keep dying off, and you won't see anybody new coming in to take their place as tourists- I mean, "guest stars."
Oh, and as for that "ugly" argument, the same one was used against building a casino here in Maine. Let me show you all the casino I stopped at in Arizona:
That's it. First floor is casino, the rest of the floors are hotel rooms. The casino itself wasn't as garish as the ones you see in movies from Hollywood either. They had a large open front area that let in some sunlight. It was noisy, but not so you couldn't hear yourself think. TVs located in different areas allowed people to keep track of what time it was (CNN, ESPN, and local news stations were playing when I was there). Maine's a big state, I don't think a building that size would suddenly appear as horrible as a pimple on a teenage girl's nose during prom.
Anyway, that's my quasi-political rant. This has been something weighing on my mind since the trip, and I know it's jumbled, not very clear, and I don't quote my references (a history of Maine's tribal disputes with the state government can be found at http://mainelaw.maine.edu/academics/maine-law-review/pdf/vol50_1/vol50_me_l_rev_143.pdf), but for an amateur blog post? I think it works.
Coming up next: The time a monkey jumped on my head.
Don't let the cuteness fool you.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Excuse me for a moment while I blow off some dust here.
*puff* *cough* *gack*
Okay, I think we're good.
I had promised a few of these when I went on my most recent trip to Arizona, and hey, if anything's going to get me excited about writing again, it'll be writing. So let's get a few things out of the way first.
1) Arizona is hot.
This falls under "well, no kidding, next you'll be telling me the ocean's wet." But perhaps it's just because I've lived in many places, but the heat is less unbearable there than it is in Maine, which doesn't come anywhere near those temperatures. And why? Humidity. When I lived in Virginia, every house had central air conditioning. Temperatures rarely went past 100, but, well, let's look at the weather for this upcoming Friday.
And now here's the weather for Phoenix the same day.
Okay, if I had to pick one to be in, you know where I'd go? I'd go to Phoenix. Why? Because there's very little humidity. Humidity assaults people. It clings to everything and absorbs ambient heat so you can never cool down. It soaks your clothes the moment you step outside, it seeps into your house, and it feels like all it wants to do is kill you. If the weather was a horror movie, humidity would be zombies. Always present and you can fight for a while, but eventually you have to face it. And you'll lose.
Now, I'll be honest, 112 is really goddamn hot. When I was in Phoenix, the hottest it got was 107, but before you feel sorry for me, know this: I walked around outside almost every day for most of the day. I didn't get a sunburn from extreme sun exposure (hell, I barely tanned at all, I'm just "less white"). I was absolutely fine every evening. The thing about Phoenix is they know it's going to be hot. They aren't surprised by it any more than people in Florida should be surprised that huge storms come through and knock over all their stuff. They have shaded sidewalks with awnings, they have trees strategically planted to shade street corners, and the most awesome part? Check this out.
You see that mist? Many stores in the Phoenix area run pipes along the edges of their awnings and overhangs that spray a mist down. This cools you off by not only being cool water, but it also drops the temperature a few degrees in the immediate area. Just don't go running through it like a child in a sprinkler, or you'll look like a total tourist.
Fact #2: Phoenix is in a desert.
Again, "no kidding" but, here's something you might not know. 1) The definition for a desert depends on how much rainfall it gets, not how much plant life it has. 2) Arizona has gotten really, really good at irrigation. Someone I know commented during their trip to Arizona that nothing was alive and it was brown everywhere. Well, I'll admit, there is a lot of brown, but you work with the stone and dirt you've got, right? But does this look like barren land to you?
Does that look barren to you?
...okay, the last one's a bit barren in the front, but in the back it's not! Just...look behind the dust devil that was blowing right beside the road. ...right. Anyway.
Maybe it's just because the other person I know went in winter, but every time I looked around, there was greenery. Plants, trees, cactus, grass, it was all around me thanks to Arizona having really hardy trees and doing a damn good job irrigating it. In fact, right outside the city where the Salt River tribe lives, they have crops. Honest to god crops. I saw corn growing in fields out there (but that's another blog post).
Fact #3: There's a lot of southern culture in Arizona.
Okay, now I'm just getting stupid with these, so this is going to be my last one. Something I know about the northeast is that if you've seen one city, you've seen most of the cities. If someone asked me to tell the difference between Kennebunkport and Freeport, my answer would be "one has LL Bean." Falmouth and Windham? "One's closer to the ocean, one's closer to a lake?" Gorham and Hudson? "Gorham has paved roads." But once you get past the quaintness, it's all rather...bland.
Man, this post isn't going to make me any friends, is it?
Here, look at some of these pictures I took.
This is the hill alongside the highway that leads to the wall blocking sound from the residential areas. That pattern on the ground is all made out of small rocks arranged just so in this really elaborately done style. Next up:
The walls of overpasses and on-ramps are decorated with all sorts of designs. Lizards, cactuses, figures from Native American myth, designs, patterns, pictures telling short stories, all these creations that add character to a town. And this is just the roads. Buildings, parks, sidewalks, all parts of the city embraced the variety of cultures and history of the region and display them prominently. The area is trying to tell you its story, and each road you take and each time you look around, you see more of it. They even managed to balance this delicate level of classic design with modern technology. Their new mass transit system, the light rail, maneuvers down roads passing statues, signs, and memorials of what used to be.
Overall, Phoenix is, in my opinion at least, a gorgeous city, one rife with culture and flavor (not just in the food, but I'll get to that later as well). I'd highly recommend anybody visit it, and not do it during the winter. From what I saw, Spring is the slow tourist season there, so it's a good time to visit (my father told me that through a time-share company he deals with, I could get a week's stay in a two-bedroom condo with a kitchen for $180. Per WEEK.)
Hell, there's enough stuff to do there, I wouldn't mind going back. Anybody want to split a condo?
*puff* *cough* *gack*
Okay, I think we're good.
I had promised a few of these when I went on my most recent trip to Arizona, and hey, if anything's going to get me excited about writing again, it'll be writing. So let's get a few things out of the way first.
1) Arizona is hot.
This falls under "well, no kidding, next you'll be telling me the ocean's wet." But perhaps it's just because I've lived in many places, but the heat is less unbearable there than it is in Maine, which doesn't come anywhere near those temperatures. And why? Humidity. When I lived in Virginia, every house had central air conditioning. Temperatures rarely went past 100, but, well, let's look at the weather for this upcoming Friday.
Okay, if I had to pick one to be in, you know where I'd go? I'd go to Phoenix. Why? Because there's very little humidity. Humidity assaults people. It clings to everything and absorbs ambient heat so you can never cool down. It soaks your clothes the moment you step outside, it seeps into your house, and it feels like all it wants to do is kill you. If the weather was a horror movie, humidity would be zombies. Always present and you can fight for a while, but eventually you have to face it. And you'll lose.
Now, I'll be honest, 112 is really goddamn hot. When I was in Phoenix, the hottest it got was 107, but before you feel sorry for me, know this: I walked around outside almost every day for most of the day. I didn't get a sunburn from extreme sun exposure (hell, I barely tanned at all, I'm just "less white"). I was absolutely fine every evening. The thing about Phoenix is they know it's going to be hot. They aren't surprised by it any more than people in Florida should be surprised that huge storms come through and knock over all their stuff. They have shaded sidewalks with awnings, they have trees strategically planted to shade street corners, and the most awesome part? Check this out.
You see that mist? Many stores in the Phoenix area run pipes along the edges of their awnings and overhangs that spray a mist down. This cools you off by not only being cool water, but it also drops the temperature a few degrees in the immediate area. Just don't go running through it like a child in a sprinkler, or you'll look like a total tourist.
Fact #2: Phoenix is in a desert.
Again, "no kidding" but, here's something you might not know. 1) The definition for a desert depends on how much rainfall it gets, not how much plant life it has. 2) Arizona has gotten really, really good at irrigation. Someone I know commented during their trip to Arizona that nothing was alive and it was brown everywhere. Well, I'll admit, there is a lot of brown, but you work with the stone and dirt you've got, right? But does this look like barren land to you?
Does that look barren to you?
...okay, the last one's a bit barren in the front, but in the back it's not! Just...look behind the dust devil that was blowing right beside the road. ...right. Anyway.
Maybe it's just because the other person I know went in winter, but every time I looked around, there was greenery. Plants, trees, cactus, grass, it was all around me thanks to Arizona having really hardy trees and doing a damn good job irrigating it. In fact, right outside the city where the Salt River tribe lives, they have crops. Honest to god crops. I saw corn growing in fields out there (but that's another blog post).
Fact #3: There's a lot of southern culture in Arizona.
Okay, now I'm just getting stupid with these, so this is going to be my last one. Something I know about the northeast is that if you've seen one city, you've seen most of the cities. If someone asked me to tell the difference between Kennebunkport and Freeport, my answer would be "one has LL Bean." Falmouth and Windham? "One's closer to the ocean, one's closer to a lake?" Gorham and Hudson? "Gorham has paved roads." But once you get past the quaintness, it's all rather...bland.
Man, this post isn't going to make me any friends, is it?
Here, look at some of these pictures I took.
This is the hill alongside the highway that leads to the wall blocking sound from the residential areas. That pattern on the ground is all made out of small rocks arranged just so in this really elaborately done style. Next up:
The walls of overpasses and on-ramps are decorated with all sorts of designs. Lizards, cactuses, figures from Native American myth, designs, patterns, pictures telling short stories, all these creations that add character to a town. And this is just the roads. Buildings, parks, sidewalks, all parts of the city embraced the variety of cultures and history of the region and display them prominently. The area is trying to tell you its story, and each road you take and each time you look around, you see more of it. They even managed to balance this delicate level of classic design with modern technology. Their new mass transit system, the light rail, maneuvers down roads passing statues, signs, and memorials of what used to be.
Overall, Phoenix is, in my opinion at least, a gorgeous city, one rife with culture and flavor (not just in the food, but I'll get to that later as well). I'd highly recommend anybody visit it, and not do it during the winter. From what I saw, Spring is the slow tourist season there, so it's a good time to visit (my father told me that through a time-share company he deals with, I could get a week's stay in a two-bedroom condo with a kitchen for $180. Per WEEK.)
Hell, there's enough stuff to do there, I wouldn't mind going back. Anybody want to split a condo?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
"I better get extra credit for this..."
Last time, I happened to mention that the tv program "Big Bad Beetleborgs" wasn't as bad as "Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills." And to be fair, it wasn't. It also wasn't as bad as "Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog," "VR Troopers," or "Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad" (whose poor spelling still makes my teeth itch). But then, they were all attempts to cash in on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and everybody who watched them knew it.
I didn't watch much of "Big Bad Beetleborgs" when it came out in 1996, but there are a few things I remember distinctively about it. One was that the kids worked in a comic book shop that sold merchandise of the Beetleborgs. I always found this somewhat puzzling. Who made the merchandise, and why did they never show up to squash the rumors that their characters were destroying real monsters? It would be like finding Clark Kent working in a shop that only sold DC comics, and then you hear on the radio that Superman not only is real, but he just punched an alien in the face. You aren't sure if you should bring up the fourth wall issues involved or if you should just smile and hope you can get out of there before anything goes wrong.
I also remember this guy:
I'm not going to make any Elvis, Bob Hope, or Jay Leno jokes because I know they've all already been done before, but I will point out that it takes a brave ghost to wear an outfit that not even a Bedazzler can make into a bigger eyesore.
Flabber here embodies for me what might be either be the greatest or laziest writing I've ever seen in a children's series. Allow me to explain.
Halfway through the first season, the show decided to perform a casting switcheroo. Shannon Chandler, who played Jo, was leaving the show and being replaced by Brittany Konarzewski. Now, normally when a character is replaced, they move out of town and a new character arrives at just the right moment to fill their shoes. But the show didn't want to replace Jo, so they kept the character and simply replaced the actress. How'd that work out?
Well, we went from:
To:
...yeah, they needed to think of something quickly.
So here's where the writing comes into play. The show simply portrayed that this was a magical transformation caused by one of the comic relief characters casting a spell. The only problem with this was that any logical person in a world with monsters, ghosts, and robots would undoubtedly find it suspicious that their daughter dramatically changed appearance.
Flabber, therefore, came up with a plan. He cast a new spell, so that everybody would see Jo as her old self...unless, of course, they happened to be in the room when the new spell was cast, then they'd be immune and see her as she (now) truly was. Oh, and the audience? Well, technically everybody watching the show did "see" the spell get cast so we get to see the new actress as well! Isn't that convenient? Everybody wins!
But anyway, I'm not here to discuss the Beetleborgs. I'm here about teenagers with tattoos who fight aliens. ...or fighters who battle tattooed teenage aliens, the wording of the title has always been rather awkward.
This show was one of the first (that I remember seeing, anyway) to attempt to cash in on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers craze. For a while during the late 90s, it seemed that anybody with a ninja outfit and some bad rubber monster costumes and a bucket of paint could produce one of these programs. The sets were ridiculous, the storyline was nonexistent, the martial arts might have been passable if it weren't for the sudden camera leaps...in short, it was bad.
Not only was it bad, though, but it was also hilarious.
The concept of the show was simple. An alien being hides on Earth and picks a group of teenagers to defend the planet from an evil intergalactic threat. The primary villain routinely sends monsters down to the planet to wreak havoc, and the teenagers respond by transforming into their heroic alter egos/stunt doubles and fighting the monster. However, the monster gets a quick upgrade and the heroes have to either push themselves past their individual limit or work together to summon the Ultimate Combat Machine Ever Made to finally take the monster out.
Now, I realize that's the plotline of every one of these types of shows, but TTAFFBH did a few things differently that, while they flat out didn't work, I appreciated the effort.
For one thing, the kids didn't hang out at a juice bar. These kids were hip and knew that Friends was the Next Big Thing for adults, so they hung out at a coffee bar. Plus, instead of getting their powers from dinosaur robots, they got their namesake and power source from various constellations in the night sky! Tell me THAT doesn't scream original product!
All right, there was really only two things I could think of that made this show different. One was that the bad monsters might temporarily die, but odds were pretty good you'd see them again in a later episode, as the villain never believed in letting a bad minion not get a second chance. Eventually he'd learn to try sending more than one monster at a time, but by then most of their weaknesses were figured out and it just felt kind of sad.
The other was one of the moments during the first episode, after the mismatched group of teenagers have acquired their powers and are wondering what comes next. One wonders if they'd hang out together at school. The general reaction?
"Pfft. Please. Me, hang out with people like you guys?"
That's right! They might be a squad of heroes who are the planet's last hope, but she's head cheerleader and he's a math geek! He's a surprisingly effeminate-for-the-90s prep boy and she's a rebel! Did you expect them to be friends? What did you want from a show like this, a moral lesson? Go back to Sesame Street if you want help making friends, we've got monsters to kill!
Coming up next, we'll take a look at the main characters, the first episode, the main villain, and the glory that is "Ninjabot, the Samurai Robot."
I didn't watch much of "Big Bad Beetleborgs" when it came out in 1996, but there are a few things I remember distinctively about it. One was that the kids worked in a comic book shop that sold merchandise of the Beetleborgs. I always found this somewhat puzzling. Who made the merchandise, and why did they never show up to squash the rumors that their characters were destroying real monsters? It would be like finding Clark Kent working in a shop that only sold DC comics, and then you hear on the radio that Superman not only is real, but he just punched an alien in the face. You aren't sure if you should bring up the fourth wall issues involved or if you should just smile and hope you can get out of there before anything goes wrong.
I also remember this guy:
I'm not going to make any Elvis, Bob Hope, or Jay Leno jokes because I know they've all already been done before, but I will point out that it takes a brave ghost to wear an outfit that not even a Bedazzler can make into a bigger eyesore.
Flabber here embodies for me what might be either be the greatest or laziest writing I've ever seen in a children's series. Allow me to explain.
Halfway through the first season, the show decided to perform a casting switcheroo. Shannon Chandler, who played Jo, was leaving the show and being replaced by Brittany Konarzewski. Now, normally when a character is replaced, they move out of town and a new character arrives at just the right moment to fill their shoes. But the show didn't want to replace Jo, so they kept the character and simply replaced the actress. How'd that work out?
Well, we went from:
To:
...yeah, they needed to think of something quickly.
So here's where the writing comes into play. The show simply portrayed that this was a magical transformation caused by one of the comic relief characters casting a spell. The only problem with this was that any logical person in a world with monsters, ghosts, and robots would undoubtedly find it suspicious that their daughter dramatically changed appearance.
Flabber, therefore, came up with a plan. He cast a new spell, so that everybody would see Jo as her old self...unless, of course, they happened to be in the room when the new spell was cast, then they'd be immune and see her as she (now) truly was. Oh, and the audience? Well, technically everybody watching the show did "see" the spell get cast so we get to see the new actress as well! Isn't that convenient? Everybody wins!
But anyway, I'm not here to discuss the Beetleborgs. I'm here about teenagers with tattoos who fight aliens. ...or fighters who battle tattooed teenage aliens, the wording of the title has always been rather awkward.
This show was one of the first (that I remember seeing, anyway) to attempt to cash in on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers craze. For a while during the late 90s, it seemed that anybody with a ninja outfit and some bad rubber monster costumes and a bucket of paint could produce one of these programs. The sets were ridiculous, the storyline was nonexistent, the martial arts might have been passable if it weren't for the sudden camera leaps...in short, it was bad.
Not only was it bad, though, but it was also hilarious.
The concept of the show was simple. An alien being hides on Earth and picks a group of teenagers to defend the planet from an evil intergalactic threat. The primary villain routinely sends monsters down to the planet to wreak havoc, and the teenagers respond by transforming into their heroic alter egos/stunt doubles and fighting the monster. However, the monster gets a quick upgrade and the heroes have to either push themselves past their individual limit or work together to summon the Ultimate Combat Machine Ever Made to finally take the monster out.
Now, I realize that's the plotline of every one of these types of shows, but TTAFFBH did a few things differently that, while they flat out didn't work, I appreciated the effort.
For one thing, the kids didn't hang out at a juice bar. These kids were hip and knew that Friends was the Next Big Thing for adults, so they hung out at a coffee bar. Plus, instead of getting their powers from dinosaur robots, they got their namesake and power source from various constellations in the night sky! Tell me THAT doesn't scream original product!
All right, there was really only two things I could think of that made this show different. One was that the bad monsters might temporarily die, but odds were pretty good you'd see them again in a later episode, as the villain never believed in letting a bad minion not get a second chance. Eventually he'd learn to try sending more than one monster at a time, but by then most of their weaknesses were figured out and it just felt kind of sad.
The other was one of the moments during the first episode, after the mismatched group of teenagers have acquired their powers and are wondering what comes next. One wonders if they'd hang out together at school. The general reaction?
"Pfft. Please. Me, hang out with people like you guys?"
That's right! They might be a squad of heroes who are the planet's last hope, but she's head cheerleader and he's a math geek! He's a surprisingly effeminate-for-the-90s prep boy and she's a rebel! Did you expect them to be friends? What did you want from a show like this, a moral lesson? Go back to Sesame Street if you want help making friends, we've got monsters to kill!
Coming up next, we'll take a look at the main characters, the first episode, the main villain, and the glory that is "Ninjabot, the Samurai Robot."
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