Top Eleven: Reasons Why Luigi Is Better Than Mario

There is no bigger video game mascot than Mario.  

Okay, actually, that's not correct.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Pac-Man is actually the most recognizable video game mascot/character of all time, with Mario a very close second.

However, while I've played so many of his video games that any time anybody says "Who is it?" in a movie, my brain automatically fills in "It's-a me, Mario!", he hasn't been my favorite brother.

No, that honor goes to Luigi.

So why is it the world's most standard second banana is my favorite?  Here's a list of eleven reasons why.

1)  Luigi, I'm convinced, was the original plumber.

Here's something you might not have known, Mario wasn't always a plumber.  Back in his earliest appearances, Mario was actually a carpenter.  No, really, it's true.  In the Donkey Kong series, Mario wasn't installing plumbing in that construction site, he was actually contracted out to install woodwork.

Luigi, on the other hand, has always been a plumber.  It's my personal theory that once Mario got fired from being a carpenter (he essentially destroys the top of a building in order to defeat Donkey Kong, and more on that particular relationship later), I suspect Luigi brought him in to his business to give Mario a break.  Mario, having not done much work as a plumber, decided to take more of a management role, renamed the business to "Mario Bros." 

However, Mario has had a long list of unsuccessful career choices.  He's been a doctor whose response to everything was to throw pills at it.  He very poorly attempted to manage a hotel.  He tried to manage a cement factory where Mario spent the whole time trying to keep machines going out of control from going completely out of control.  He managed to be a referee for boxing and tennis matches.  The list goes on and on, including a brief stint as a bomb transporter in the Vietnam War.

No, seriously.

We'll be touching back on this again later, as well.

Now, to be fair, Luigi has been dragged along with Mario for a few of his career misadventures.  He helped out in a kitchen Mario ran once, and he even helped Mario in a job working in a brewery (seriously).  However, I think Luigi was just always content to be a plumber.  He's even the only person doing any actual plumbing in the opening to that horrible Mario Brothers cartoon I reviewed, Mario's just standing there holding a shower curtain aside with a look on his face that screams "keep up the good work, I'm useless at this stuff!"

2)  Luigi has better taste in women.

We all know that Princess Peach is the worst ruler ever, right?  She spends all her time off go-carting, tennis playing, golfing, basketball playing (against real NBA players, no less), and baking cakes.  So many cakes.

She has a kingdom that's almost always under attack by giant turtle monsters, and yet is never able to realize she should perhaps work on some defenses for her kingdom considering how regularly she gets kidnapped.  Not one cannon.  Not one turret.  Not one border crossing guard to even make a half-hearted "hey, stop that" when Bowser shows up with a fleet of flying war ships.

Daisy, on the other hand, seems to have her "ruling a kingdom" business a lot better in hand.  Her kingdom was invaded once.  Never again after that do you hear about "monsters invading Sarasaland" (you know, where she's from).  She doesn't have a constantly recurring kidnapping issue with giant turtles who seem determined to mate with her.  She will take part in some sporting events, but she doesn't show up to every single one like she has nothing better to do.  

Oh, and she also wouldn't put up with that whole "being kidnapped again" business anyway.  

"Hey, Bowser?  What did the five fingers say to the face?"

Luigi, wisely, has decided to skip the high maintenance girlfriend that is Princess Peach and has instead been paired up (according to Mario Party games, a trophy from Mario Kart, and a trophy in Super Smash Bros.) with the tomboyish Daisy instead.

3)  Mario practices animal abuse.

Here's something you didn't really know:  In the original Donkey Kong, the giant ape wasn't just a random monster attacking the city and kidnapping Mario's girlfriend.  Rather, he was Mario's pet who escaped because he was being mistreated. 

No, seriously, that's what it said in the game manual.

I'll quote it here:  "[Donkey Kong] is actually [Mario's] pet who was mistreated."

It gets even better.  Once Mario captures Donkey Kong again and has him once again in captivity, he then fights Donkey Kong's son who simply wants to free his old man.  Seriously, in Donkey Kong, Jr., Mario is the bad guy.

Do you want more proof?

Yeah, Mario punches Yoshi in the head to make him eat things.  You can even see Yoshi starting to flinch as he senses Mario winding up to donkey punch him in the back of the head.

It gets even better.

And by better I mean worse.  Much, much worse.

Jump to the end of that video where they're tallying the screen.  Watch as Mario starts firing his gun at Yoshi to scare him.

Now, granted, Luigi isn't innocent.  He does sort of the same thing to Yoshi in the Super Mario World games, but I'm a bit more lenient since, in those days, Luigi was really just a palate swap of Mario.  However, Luigi never forced a giant ape to join the circus, balance on a barrel, juggle pineapples, dodge fire raining from the sky, and then jump in the air, laugh, and point when the ape lights himself on fire.

4)  Luigi has real human emotions.

If you play any of the later Mario & Luigi games, as well as a few others, you know that Luigi is a bit of a coward.  He hides when Bowser storms into the castle to kidnap the Princess.  His knees knock when he faces a huge ghost.  He sometimes needs to be convinced to step up and save the world.

But here's the thing... Mario doesn't have a single emotion except for blissful glee and pure rage.  There's nothing else in his life.  He's rarely ever afraid, he charges straight into combat without batting an eye, and essentially just a small force of nature in red overalls.  That's...pretty boring.

Luigi's interesting because he faces huge evils (and even rescues his brother a few times) while still being afraid.  He knows that what he's facing isn't natural, whether it's turtles the size of trucks or paranormal activity, but in the end he steps up and gets the job done.  He overcomes his fear.  When the chips are down, he can be counted on to steel his resolve, look evil square in the eye... and only flinch for a moment before he socks it in the nose.

5)  Luigi isn't a glory hog.

Go back and watch the clip of Daisy treating Bowser like they're recreating a famous scene in Chinatown ("She's my sister!  She's my daughter!  She's my sister!  She's my daughter!") and look a bit earlier at how Mario reacts to losing.  He runs off sobbing protesting because "he's the hero!"

The people of the Mushroom Kingdom love Mario.  They worship him.  They invite him to every party and tend to gush at everything he does.  Luigi, on the other hand...they barely remember his name.  They're "Mario and the other one."  

Sure it depresses Luigi a bit, but you never see him get angry about it.  He doesn't insist they name parties after him.  He doesn't insist cakes be decorated in his colors.  He just takes it all in stride and moves on, because at the end of the day there's more to life than having fireworks draw out your face in the sky.

Just look at the quotes the two characters use in the Mario Kart games.  For the most part, Luigi seems happy to just be involved, and when he does win, he has that one selfish moment where he says he's number one "now" but otherwise just seems surprised and excited when things go his way.

6)  Luigi can jump higher.

Yes, it's a bit of a nitpick, but I always preferred Luigi in Super Mario Bros. 2 because he could jump higher.  Mario might be better able to stick the landing, but playing as Luigi was like playing the game in hard(er) mode.  It showed that Luigi was in better shape, if nothing else, and he cared a bit more about his health than Mario (also evidenced by the fact that Luigi seems aware that charging across a kingdom could kill him).

7)  What the heck is Mario doing between games?

Look, it's simple.  Bowser shows up, kidnaps Peach, Mario wades through seven kingdoms, storms castles, and gets her back.  Bowser then, presumably, rebuilds all of his castles, and then starts all over again.

How is Mario not aware that a) Bowser's back, and b) that the bad guys just rebuilt all of their castles?  You'd think he'd do something about it before Peach gets kidnapped.  He knows it's going to fall on his shoulders anyway, so you think he'd a) ask for a full time job as Peach's bodyguard/cake recipient, and b) send out some Toads (after they get trained) to keep an eye on things in neighboring kingdoms.  

Or is Mario just so busy goofing off with his go-karts and tennis matches that he just doesn't care?  Is he more determined to say in the limelight that he only cares when a spotlight can be shined on him for doing heroic deeds?

8)  Mario can't handle committed relationships.

No, really.  In Donkey Kong, he isn't trying to save Peach.  He's trying to save Pauline, his girlfriend (and possible co-abuser of apes).  Whatever happened to Pauline?  Did she dump Mario for letting his ape kidnap her?  Was he pulled away from her when he went to the Mushroom Kingdom, the two never knowing what happened to each other?

Well, no and no.  See, in the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series (which involves Mario becoming a toy maker and then opening his own amusement park for some reason), he and Pauline are still good friends.  There's no clear indication that the two women know each other or know of each other, and even if Pauline is just Mario's business partner, then what happened?  Did Mario cheat on her with the Princess?  Did Pauline (who apparently is now also in the Mushroom Kingdom as of the ending of the Game Boy Donkey Kong game) follow Mario there just to realize he had a better thing going with a blond woman?  

I suspect that Mario just can't handle deep emotional matters.  It's why the most you ever see him do with the Princess is go on trips and go out for picnics, and not once is there a candlelit dinner or more than a kiss on the cheek.  There's no passion in the relationship.

9)  Mario is just Rambo in a fantasy world.

Hear me out.

We've already established that Mario was at war, and based on those outfits and the fact that "Charlie's in the trees" probably means it's Vietnam.

He comes back from that, and has difficulty fitting in back in the normal world.  He bounces from job to job.  He fails to maintain a relationship.  He's abusive to an animal.  The only time he's happiest is when he's killing things and taking wealth from around the countryside.  He does various types of drugs that give him "powers."  They're both experts in guerrilla tactics and hand to hand combat (or, in one case, boot to face combat).  

It's my theory that Mario suffered some kind of PTSD during the war, and the reason why he keeps needing to take part in huge rescue missions is because of his war experience.  I'll also point out that turtles have a significant religious/mythological significance to Vietnamese, and Mario's enemies tend to be of the mushroom and turtle varieties.

Luigi, on the other hand, is the brother who didn't enlist.  He's the one who stayed behind, got his education in a craft, and, in an act of mercy, tried to help his brother find work when he came back home.  He follows his brother in an effort to keep him safe and to do the right thing, but Mario is ready to take orders to "invade the enemy" at a moment's notice.

It's kind of unnerving.

10)  Luigi's a detective.

While I hate referring to the game Mario is Missing for anything, there are a few game play specifics that Mario tends to never have to deal with.  Luigi would get teleported around the world to stop Koopa's plan, which involved deducing which city he was in, and answer trivia questions by locals.  Mario tends to simply run through areas without even bothering to take in the scenery.

Personally, I think I'd rather hang out with the guy who seems to have some kind of a genuine education backing up his world-saving heroics.

11)  Luigi is a sidekick, and sidekicks are better to hang around with than heroes.

While Luigi has had a few starring roles, most people do still think of him as "Mario's sidekick."  However, I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.  Sidekicks can be just as heroic as the heroes, but tend to have a) more character depth, and b) a lot more to overcome to do the same things.

Let's look at other media.  Samwise Gamgee, from the Lord of the Rings series, is fiercely loyal to Frodo.  He stays by Frodo's side, supports him whenever possible, and even shoulders some of the responsibility for the ring.  However, he also knows almost nothing about the outside world (having not listened to stories from Bilbo and Gandalf as often), and only has his determination to help him stand up against a lot of the forces they face.

Xander Harris, from Buffy.  He's the only one of the "Scooby Gang" who doesn't have any kind of powers.  He isn't a slayer, a witch, a werewolf, a vampire with a soul, or anything else.  He does have tactics and strategy from a general downloaded into his brain, but in one on one against the undead, that might not always be as helpful.  He has, however, proven himself time and again to be invaluable to the team.  He can hold his own in a fight, is the moral support for the squad, and has saved the day on more than one occasion despite having none of the advantages of anybody else.

I could go on and on with sidekicks who have faced just as much difficulty and struggle as the hero did, managing to overcome it without any of the powers, abilities, or skills as the hero, but in the end, it's the person or team who overcomes more of a struggle that's more impressive than someone who can do it with their eyes closed.

So there we have it, my eleven reasons why I think Luigi is a better character than Mario.