Marvel Disk Wars: The Avengers - Episode 14:The Man Who Controls The Whips Of Darkness!

After a brief reprieve I'm back in the thick of watching cartoons about superheroes!  You know, for writing purposes.  It gives me something to use to fill a post on Thursdays as opposed to having to go out and find something that costs money to enjoy different each time, and it connects each week to each other.

But enough justification of my hobby, it's time to get into the thick of things!  Let's dive right in for a story about...um...whips.  And darkness.  And a guy.  And- okay, did I wander in to the Fifty Shades Of Grey animated series?



Okay, a brief check of the episode shows that I don't need to worry about any kind of freaky dominatrix/dominator showing up or things getting into really uncomfortable relationships.

And yes, I had to Google what a male dominatrix is called.  I really pray the government doesn't care at all about my search history, or they're going to be really confused by what they find in there.

The episode begins with a huge fight between Wasp, Captain America, Hulk, and Thor, originally starting as a free for all but quickly turning into a "hey, let's all take on the one guy who, in all honesty, can probably whup us all single-handedly without breaking a sweat."

Worded even better by the Wasp.

It turns out that Ed, Hikaru, Chris, and are all playing a superhero-based fighting game together, and with the latest victory, Hikaru has won the last ten rounds.  Ed briefly considers trying another hero instead of playing as the Hulk agian, but the Hulk shuts that idea down pretty quickly.

Jessica's determined to beat Hikaru, however, and tries to encourage Chris and Ed to take it as seriously as her by listing everything Hikaru is good at and trying to make the two boys jealous.  Chris throws it right back at Jessica by pointing out that Hikaru's tall and Jessica can't reach the top shelves.  It works, and when Hikaru tries to point out it's just a game, Jessica exclaims that's exactly WHY she wants to beat him at it, because it is "just a game."

I'm...not really sure how that logic works, unless it's such a minor thing that it would just get to be something she's proud of what wouldn't really take away from Hikaru's character.

But most importantly, why can't I ever get to play in a game this awesome?

A sudden blackout ends the game, and Hikaru immediately flips out afraid that Akira is in trouble.  It's just a simple short, however, and Akira isn't hurt, the D-System isn't damaged, and after everybody goes upstairs, it's revealed that Hikaru really needs to calm the heck down.

Seriously, when the Hulk thinks you have emotional issues, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

It gets downright creepy, as Hikaru is convinced that Akira somehow managed to catch a cold from a momentary blackout, interrupting everybody to insist that a) Akira's forehead feels warm and b) he should take some medicine.

...a creepy relationship...nah.  Coincidence.

And you're not helping matters with that expression, Jessica.

Hikaru and Thor have a small heart to heart, where they compare their relationships with their brothers.  Thor gives a brief history of Loki (orphaned after a battle, taken in, succumbing to his own desires) and exclaims that he still thinks of the god of lies as his brother still.  The two agree to be there for each other when their concern for their brothers becomes too much.

At that moment, a DISK appears, and the heroes gather.

Meanwhile, Loki is chewing out his troops for not only failing to capture any new DISKs, but losing DISKs to the good guys.  He vows to take on the next job himself to ensure things go according to his plans.

On the jet, Jessica cackles to herself at having figured out that Hikaru's weakness is his concern for Akira, and personally vows to use it against him the next time they play their game.

The location of the latest DISK is an old abandoned research facility that "dealt with chemical development."  The DISK itself is in a storehouse, but they can't just barge in because of danger signs.  Large stocks of old chemicals could make them all go off.

Thor gets recommended to supply power to the plant (lightning = electricity, right?) while Iron Man hacks the system to unlock the doors.  The moment Thor and Iron Man emerge, however, Loki calls everybody on their cell phones (clearly magic, because there's no way they have a signal in a giant concrete bunker).  Loki calls out Thor to face him, and Thor immediately starts marching off to face his brother in combat.  Hikaru, however, immediately steps in front of Thor and the exit, trying to remind him that they promised to help each other keep perspective when their brothers are involved.  Thor doesn't look convinced.

On the hillside, Loki waits patiently until he hears the sound of a footstep landing in the grass behind him.  He turns to face his brother.

Okay, show, hold on a moment.  We need to talk.

If you want me to like characters other than Jessica, you really need to start giving them better moments to be appreciated.  Sure, this is a Hikaru episode, but him just being perfect when he's not off-screen and then talking down Thor doesn't really compare to seeing Jessica be both completely smug and also show her weaknesses when she's plotting against others in a game.

Chris pretty much doesn't do anything, Ed got some great moments to show himself last episode, and Akira...well, he's the Bland Generic Protagonist With Flaws for all the kids to connect with, but Jessica is probably the one I would trust not to lose it if the world was actually coming to an end.

So it turns out Hikaru did talk Thor down, meaning that Iron Man and Thor get to face off with the minion while Loki gets to fight Captain America, Wasp, and the Hulk.

We remember what happened the last time the Hulk faced Loki, right?

Right.

So, who do Iron Man and Thor get to fight?

Oh, hey!  It's Whiplash!  This'll be cool, as the two heroes fight him in a confined area an- wait, what did he say?  "Let's get sticky?"

Okay, we're going to ignore that and inste-

Dammit, Whiplash!  Okay.  Iron Man fires a few blasts at Whiplash, but their opponent is able to use his pink energy tentacle whip to shield himself.  The fight then gets inten-

DAMMIT.  Okay, look, are we SURE I didn't wander into some weird "50 Shades" fanfic?  I mean, I know it started out as a fanfic, but are we sure this is really a superhero cartoon at this point?

Let's go look at the fight between Loki, Wasp, Cap, and Hu-

That's it, I'm out.

Thor and Iron Man beat the tar out of Whiplash because he's a STUPID villain to have face off against them, Loki teleports his cowardly ass away, two more DISKs get added to the vault (we don't see who they recover, but Whiplash gets captured by Akira), and Jessica still fails to beat Hikaru at video games even when she tries to distract him by claiming that Akira's about to fall in a river.

That's it.  I'm done.  Come back next week when we get something less crazy and more awesome, as we get an episode that focuses on Jessica and brings us another Spider-Man villain!