Erik Eats Cereal: Cocoa Puffs

The last time I wrote this article, I got to experience eating "Froot Loops" cereal for the first time.  Besides offending me on every possible level by their attempts to make "froot" a word that isn't supposed to make me think of something growing between a person's toes, it had an interesting touch of citrus buried under way too much sugar.

Now we're on to what I think must be the children's cereal opposite of "Froot Loops" in that it's balls, not rings, chocolate, not fruit, and grain is the first ingredient as opposed to sugar.  Plus, this bird mascot is much more insane than the calm, reasonable Toucan Sam.

It's Cocoa Puffs!

Okay, so the picture's updated a bit since then, but I like the old box.

Immediately, I have to comment on the visuals.  The balls are noticeably different from the Froot Loop rings, as there isn't that glaze on the outside.  I suspect it's because cocoa blends better with the grains than sugar syrup does, and permeates the cereal better.  Breaking one open, I do notice that the color inside is lighter than the color on the outside, so perhaps they're dusted with cocoa again after baked.

Adding some milk, I notice it get a darker tinge almost right away, and while I have said in the past I'm willing to have chocolate mixed with milk, but that's if the milk is hot.  I never liked chocolate milk growing up, and I somehow don't suspect I'm going to now.

The cereal is also surprisingly light.  I was expecting a heavier cereal than last time, with more of a cookie consistency when I ate it.  The balls crumble easily, and the chocolate, while noticeable, doesn't overwhelm with sweetness like I was afraid it would.

It reminds of the times I've had cocoa powder dusted on savory food, like beef.  You get that essence of the cocoa, but you're still able to taste the grain (in this case, I suspect it's just a modified Kix) underneath it.  There's also little aftertaste, which I think surprises me the most.

And for the record, I can confirm I still don't like cold chocolate milk, even if it is just lightly flavored from cereal dust.

I guess if your kid really wants chocolate, I'd feel better about giving them something like this than Kellogg's "Smorz" or the Reese's cereal.

...though I'd feel better about giving them a cup of hot chocolate with a healthier cereal.

On my arbitrary rankings of cereals, one being something with twigs in it from Kashi and ten being the best cereal ever, Honey Nut Cheerios, I give this one a seven.  It's better than I expected it would be, but the milk effect is still a major negative (I'll cover a few I like to drink the milk from afterward soon), but the strong chocolate flavor seems rather one-note, with the grain not quite able to balance.  At least in the case of Froot Loops you had citrus and sweetness together, whereas this is just, well, cocoa.

Now, let's talk Sonny.

Even as a kid, I knew these ads featuring this drug-addled bird were just wrong.  The guy's just trying to mind his own business, he apparently doesn't even WANT to be a cereal mascot.  He'd rather just go bowling, join the circus, or do any number of other activities, when suddenly a bunch of kids show up and peer pressure him into having some Puffs.

I mean, just look at this ad.  "Want to have some fun?"  That's just sick.

It's terrible.  Plus, it gets worse when you realize that Sonny's OWN FAMILY would push the stuff on him.

Oh, and you want to know who voiced Sonny during the 80s and 90s?

You'll never guess.  Ever.

Yeah, that's Lion-o you heard during all those Saturday Morning Cartoons commercial breaks years ago.

You know what, I'm docking the cereal two points for having the sickest ad campaign I've seen since the original Wilkins Coffee ads promoted flat-out murdering anybody who didn't drink it.  Cocoa Puffs gets a five out of ten.