Friday, March 28, 2014

Two Online Clips That Make My Head Hurt


First off, we have the commercial for Carl's Jr. featuring the classic X-Men movie character Mystique.


I love the fact that in order to eat this burger, you have to "man up."  Because women can't handle the burger.  Truly, only bros who you know lift can handle such extreme (sorry, xtreme) bacon.

You wouldn't think that bacon needs a naked blue mutant to add to it, but, there you go.

Why not have the commercial feature some normal people (men and women) buying the burgers, leaving a Carls Jr., then having... man, I don't know, who's a sucky X-Man villain?

Yeah, he'll do.

Have Forearm (get it?  Four arms?) show up wrecking some stuff.  The normal people look at him.  They look at their burgers.  They take bites from their burgers, chew meaningfully, and then square their shoulders to face off a guy who might have four elbows but could probably still be brought down with a Nancy Kerrigan-esque crowbar to the knee.

You don't even have to use the phrase "man up."  How about "Deal with it."  Or quote some Joan of Arc "I am not afraid...I was born to do this."  Or heck, quote Steven Pressfield: "F@#( self-doubt."

I guarantee you your ad campaign will get some press with that last one.

Secondly, we have this mess:


...now, to be fair, that opening isn't that far off from how the old cartoon started out with discussions about crime being out of control.  The only thing that's missing is that old woman with the shopping cart from the cartoon who pulls out a machine gun.

However, then it starts to get weird.  Shredder and April's father tried to make mutant heroes to keep the streets safe?  Because that's better than, I don't know, doing things to make the cops more effective?  Who would control the mutants?  What would you do it they (inevitably) turned on their creator?  Why isn't Megan Fox wearing a yellow jumpsuit?

And just how stupid does this look?


...man, I have the dreadful feeling I'm going to have to watch this just to warn you all to NOT watch it and not let your kids watch it.

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