Thursday, December 18, 2014

Day Eleven Of Nitpicking The Twelve Days Of Christmas

If someone told me they were getting me a bunch of Pipers, I know what I'd hope they were getting me.

You know what?  I'd be happy with just one.  I don't need to be selfish.
However, I somehow don't expect that the song is about the heartbreaker from Coyote Ugly and Covert Affairs.

I almost suspected that it might reference one of the animals known as a "piper."  Not the least of which is a New Zealand fish.

I wish I was kidding.  This is, what, the third one that's gone to fish?

However, most people think of the sandpiper when they think of animals and "pipers."  Well, that and a certain Pied Piper.

But out of all the different Pipers out there, how much would some of them cost compared to hire people who play "the pipes?"

First, I want to establish something disturbing I learned.  Apparently most "pipe" instruments are considered types of "flutes."  They can also be considered "pipes" but apparently the most common type of "pipers" are people who play these:

So a lot of people might actually be hoping for one of these alternative pipers.

For instance, who doesn't love champagne?

A bottle of the Piper-Heidsieck 1998 Cuvée can run up to $400.  Granted, it's not the Shipwrecked 1907 Heisdeck, of which only 200 bottles were recovered from the ocean floor in 1997.  Those sell for about $275,000 per bottle.

Now, if you don't want the rare Piper-Heidsieck, you can get a twelve pack of their extra dry champagne (one for each of the "pipers" and one extra for you!) for $600.

Now if you want to recuperate the money you spend, you could always go for eleven of the Piper Alpha oil platform.

Piper Alpha was an oil platform in the North Sea established in 1976 that accounted for ten percent of the oil production in that sea.  It was a great platform... up until July 6, 1988 when an explosion claimed the lives of 167 men, leaving only 61 survivors.  It was a pretty huge event.

If you were going to go with musical instruments, I might recommend people who play the pan flute.  It's a musical instrument I've gained an appreciation for these days, and listening to (and watching people play) music with one is quite the experience.

For instance, here's Petruta Küpper, who I discovered on (I think) Romania's Got Talent.  This is her performing on some other program, but it allowed for more music and less, y'know, game show.

I wouldn't mind hearing eleven of those going at once.  At all.

Or maybe just ten, and Ms. Perabo could join me for the show.

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