Thursday, July 2, 2015

Marvel Disk Wars: The Avengers - Episode 12: The Unstoppable Force, Juggernaut!

Okay, admittedly, it's been a while since I've done one of these, but the last few weeks have been rather... interesting, to put it simply.  I'll have some personal updates shoved into a Let's Talk soon, but for now, let's just get into another episode of the best Avengers program to happen outside of the movies...and in some ways, better than the movies.

Besides, in this episode, we finally get a massive threat to the Avengers.  Someone who isn't normally one of their own foes, and is wildly remembered for a pretty terrible meme that came out in 2005.

I mean, I just watched the video it came from again, and I still think it's terrible.

At night, at Tony's Tokyo ... um... shoot, I was hoping for something with a hard "t" sound in it, but my thesaurus is failing me.  So much for alliteration.

Having just had a busy day dealing with intense fans, Japanese fashion and cuisine, and runaway roller skates, almost everybody is asleep except for Ed, who's busy trying to pack a backpack.  The little hologram of Hulk asks him why he isn't trying to get some sleep, but Ed deflects the question and acts evasive, something even the Hulk is able to pick up on.

The next day Tony's showing off the D-System, which is probably not that great a name, but gets the point across.  It's designed to detect DISKs when they emerge from whatever pocket dimension they're currently floating around in and pinpoint where they'll be when they show up.  Tony also makes sure the kids have some empty DISKs to be able to capture villains with, and states they have a containment area at the Tokyo (turf!  I could've said turf!) site to store all the DISKs containing villains.

So, um,'re telling me that a location not originally designed to store villains is going to do a better job than the place designed to store villains before Loki showed up and turned everything on its head?  This, Tony, is a bad plan.

Strangely enough, Ed's still there, meaning my idea that he was going to cowardly bolt was completely wrong.

With a speech about mission priorities from Cap (to summarize: "Safety first!"), the squad heads out to look for their first DISK.

Which, based on the landscape, is... um...

Man, I have no idea where they are.  Probably not in the United States, so that rules out Arizona or New Mexico.  Africa, somewhere?  Australia?  Siberia during the summer?

Anyway, wherever they are, it's extremely hot, and the boys lament being a bit unprepared for the trip.

Jessica, on the other hand...

Chris takes away Ed's bag (despite the fact that apparently Ed was the only one to think of bringing water) stating that he's too slow with it.  Hulk just sighs as Ed apologizes again.

So, just what is their destination? dream hideout, based on the look of it.

Somewhere in that mess is a DISK, but as the kids are starting to search, Pepper calls them up to warn them that the DISK is on the move, which gives the kids just enough warning to get out of the way when our premiere bad guy shows up!

Hold on, that's not the Juggernaut.  The title clearly said "The Unstoppable Force, Juggernaut!"

That's Absorbing Man and The Sinister Mardi Gras Man.

Alternative name: Captain Carnivale.

The Terror Of Bourbon Street (so many great names!) lets slip that he's surprised the good guys "also" have a means of detecting DISKs, which is all Tony needs to conclude that Akira and Hikaru's father must be fine, since Loki needed a genius scientist to figure out the equations and formulas necessary to detect DISKs.

The kids thank "Captain Grandpa" (Jessica's lame name for him, not mine) for the information, infuriating him and making him send the Absorbing Man after the kids.  We get the set-up for a pretty decent fight when suddenly, out of nowhere, we learn that there's at least one cell phone bar wherever they are.

Apparently our rock star villain is late for a recording session, and needs to leave ASAP.  He straight-up abandons the Absorbing Man to fight the kids/Avengers, jumping on his little red dune buggy and taking off across the desert.

Akira is about to summon Iron Man, when Tony points out that the bad guy still has a DISK.  Akira is instead instructed to take off after him with his rocket skates, leaving Hikaru, Ed, Chris, and Jessica to summon their heroes instead.

So, while Absorbing Man is an extremely powerful villain, he can't possibly be a match for Thor, Captain America, Wasp, and H-

Hold on.  Something's wrong here.

Where's Hulk?

In a moment that I actually laughed out loud, Absorbing Man looks ready to attack the heroes, then hesitates and points out that "the shrimp" (Ed) didn't D-Smash.

Absorbing Man, don't ever change.

It turns out Ed's legs "don't work" all of a sudden, and after Chris helps him up, he tells Ed that the boy "isn't cut out for this."  Cap's a bit more forgiving, stating that the three of them should be enough to handle the Absorbing Man, but when Absorbing Man tries to talk tough, he gets shut down pretty quickly by the Wasp.

Wasp, you're the best.

Absorbing Man tosses away his wrecking ball to try to take out Akira, who grabs Ed and takes off across the desert with his skates.  This leaves him weaponless, but he doesn't seem too concerned as he is able to block the Wasp's stings by touching a steel beam nearby, and when Thor tries to blast him with lightning, the Absorbing Man simply grabs hold of a rubber tire to take on the properties of rubber (wait, does rubber really work that way?), making him immune to those attacks as well.  He advises Cap not to use his shield, otherwise he'll just take it and get a body made of "invincible vibranium."

Sadly, his trash-talking doesn't have the same impact, as Cap, Thor, and Wasp simply start laughing at him, pointing out that they may be "in trouble," but they're not the least bit scared, being able to "fight side by side with the mightiest of allies" means they're all enjoying the "thrill of battle."

Oh, Absorbing Man.  You're so, you.

Meanwhile, across the desert, Akira is able to catch up to No-Shirt The Diabolical, but a quick dust cloud sends the two plowing into a rock instead.  Fortunately, Iron Man is able to be summoned at the last moment,  Tony confronts the musical mastermind, forcing the guy to bring out the REAL big name villain of the episode.

That's right, it's Ram Man, fresh from Masters of the Universe!

And apparently he stole the gloves of Fisto while he was out!

Back to the episode (man, I was having fun remembering all those old characters), Tony does his best to take on the Juggernaut, but when the man is described as having an "invincible body," it takes more than a few repulsor blasts to even harm him.  Tony has Akira unleash the "Ultimate Unibeam" on Juggy, but all it does is temporarily knock him down.   Juggernaut gets his hands on Tony, and things look bleak for the technology hero.

Then Ed finally manages to shove his cowardice down and do the right thing.

I think I just found the new desktop wallpaper for my office.
The Hulk and Juggernaut fight seems rather even for the most part.  That is, until the Hulk starts to get angry.  He makes Juggernaut drop to one knee, and then jumps up to deliver a powerful two-handed blow down directly on the Juggernaut's helmet.

See those curved lines?  That's the shock wave.
So, the Juggernaut's pretty powerful, but having a Hulk-powered gong reverberate right between his ears is enough to drop even him.  Hulk does his victory pose, the good guys D-Secure the Juggernaut,  
Back at the base- wait, hold on.  What happened to Absorbing Man, the guy who absorbs the properties of anything he touches?

Well then.  That's something you probably don't see too often in the comics, defeating enemies by lighting them on fire.

Chris seems to be showing a soft spot for Ed, tucking the smaller boy in, and Cap points out that Ed's doing his best, but this is a chance not just for Ed to grow, but for Hulk to "change" as well.  Interesting little allusion to something there.

Down in the basement, Pepper and Tony are reviewing some notes and find that the heroes are now able to be outside when D-Smashed for a full minute longer than before, but Tony doesn't want anybody else to know yet until they know for sure what's happening.

Because THAT never goes poorly.

But that's it for this episode.  Be back next time as the Avengers take on another powerful villain (one of my FAVORITES), but get a new hero added into the mix!  And Hawkeye comes back!  And he drives a scooter!

...okay, less than amazing ending there, but trust me, the episode is GREAT

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