Bottom Eleven: Things I Blogged About In 2015

To every high there is a low.  To every crowning achievement of someone's life, there's the moments where they feel like they've hit bottom.  For every delicious ice cream flavor life provides, it has several cases of bubble-gum ice cream sitting somewhere in the back, just waiting.

I mean, seriously, why would you put gum, something not traditionally swallowed, into something that has a time limit before it melts and loses half of its appeal?  Do you chew while licking?  Do you gather the gum separately and store it while you finish the ice cream, then chew it?  Who approved this abomination of taste?

But I'm getting off track.  This past year I've had some things I discussed that I look back fondly on (see: yesterday's post), but there are also things I shudder and wonder "was I mean enough to that?  Did I properly display the vitriol I felt towards that thing's very existence in order to convince people to not try to experience it themselves?"

Because if not, here's eleven more shots at those things to remind you that they exist and that they're terrible.

These are like finding a dead roach in your bubble-gum ice cream.

Blood Angels

At a certain point in any bad movie you just know what you're watching is absolute garbage.  Maybe it's the first time Tara Reid opens her mouth in Alone In The Dark (if you haven't seen it, replace that with "anything Tara Reid has been in besides The Big Lebowski).  Maybe it's the first time bad CG effects show up.  Perhaps it's when you first realize how much they've diverted from the source material.

This is, I think, the first time I ever got a strong indication a movie was going to suck because of the DVD menu.

It's the lack of special features that's the biggest hint.  Not even a director commentary?

See, in the lower left, about a third of the screen is taken up with a small "screen within the screen" showing segments from the film.  While the scenes were playing, I did some research on this movie and found out two things.  First, the title Blood Angels isn't what it was called here in the United States.  In the United States, it was called Thralls.  Blood Angels is its Canadian name.

Second, the video clips being shown are just the trailer for the movie done on loop.  Plus, the rest of the screen is just the same video with bad CG clouds washing over it and weird light effects from the letters.

When your only option for a DVD menu image is the movie trailer for the movie someone is already going to watch, that's a really bad sign.

But let's get into it.