Chocolat

Standard preface: Dame Judy Dench can do no wrong.

Okay, let's get into it.

Chocolat is a movie starring Juliette Binoche, Judy Dench, Alfred Molina, Johnny Depp (in a surprisingly small bit role), and other actors that I'm not personally familiar with.  It involves a young woman with strong Pagan beliefs moving into a small French village with her daughter and drawing the ire of the strict, religious Comte de Reynauld and other people in the village until her exotic chocolate recipes steadily start to win people over.

It's a very good movie, though I understand there's a considerable controversy surrounding its multiple academy award nominations (other than the one for Judy Dench, naturally), but honestly, I don't care about all that.  It's a good movie with lovely set pieces, superb acting from wonderful stars, but there's something I want to focus on in this review.

Why is restraint always the villain in so many movies?

Review: The Martian (the movie)

Back in October I talked about a book I absolutely loved.  You might have heard of it.  They made a movie from it starring Matt Damon.

I'm here to talk about it.

...that might be the easiest introduction I ever wrote.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li Part 3

So this is it.  This is my third attempt at getting through this movie.  I've been bored, I've been angry, I've been slightly interested in things that I don't think I was supposed to be interested in, and I'm left with more questions than answers about just how this movie came to be.

Sadly, the podcast How Did This Get Made is yet to tell me so far how this movie got made, so I'm at a loss.  I can't even fathom how nobody looked at the script and went "are you serious?"

I can't help but get a sneaking suspicion that the answer might lie in "somebody had a movie they wanted to make, and the only way to get it made was to license it to something else."

So, yeah, that's all I have for an introduction.  Let's try to complete this train wreck.

Erik's Favorite Things: The Haunting

In 1963, a movie came out that started to generate a lot of buzz as to how terrifying it was.  Movie theaters held contests to see who could get through a midnight showing of it.  Reviewers claimed that people they saw it with climbed out of their chairs in terror.  It wound up on the favorite horror movie lists of people like Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and many other respected film-connected individuals.

And yet, if I tell you the title, you're going to remember a sub-par movie with Owen Wilson, Liam Neeson, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, because it came out in 1999 during a flood of lackluster horror remakes and it cranked up Catherine Zeta-Jones' sex levels to 11.

But we're not going to talk about that bucket of chum so rank and stale that not even a starving shark would be drawn to it, we're going to talk about the original.  We're talking about The Haunting.

Review: Moon

In the future, mankind has managed to shed its dependence on oil and gas.  Helium-3 harvested from the dark side of the moon supplies a majority of Earth's energy needs,  You might remember Helium-3 as being the reason astronauts landed on the moon in the movie Iron Sky, but this isn't going to get anywhere near as ridiculous.

Today, we're talking about the movie Moon, a movie I never knew existed until just recently, and one that I'm kicking myself for having never seen before.

Devil Seed

You know what would be a great title for a movie?  "The Devil Inside."  In fact, it was a horror movie back in 2012, and a pretty huge success of one, considering it cost one million dollars to make and brought in over one hundred million dollars.

I think it might have been the impromptu success of that movie that caused Devil Seed to change its title from its original name, "The Devil In Me."  This movie also came out in 2012, and unlike the former movie mentioned, this one only brought in... well, it cost... huh.  I can't find any of the information regarding this movie online.  In fact, this movie doesn't even have a Wikipedia page.

Truly we are in for a delight.

Review - The Matador

So, yeah, reviewing the Street Fighter movie wore me out to the point that I really didn't have anything planned for today.

I mean, sure, I have projects I'm working on, and there's always the other Street Fighter movie, and I'm almost at my 600th post, but today...I just hit a wall.  I had nothing really jump out at me as something that would be simple and enjoyable to write about.

Then it hit me.  If I'm trying to make this easy, it means I don't want to try.  I also spotted a movie I watched not too long ago and completely forgot to review while it was still fresh in my mind.  Strangely enough, I do remember almost all of it pretty clearly, so I think I'll discuss it.

Here it is, the best movie to ever star Pierce Brosnan.

Street Fighter: The Movie - Part Two

I was not prepared for what I was getting myself into with this project.  I thought "hey, wouldn't it be fun to watch a movie that I know is big and dumb but still kind of fun?  Wouldn't it be great if I just did reviews of video game movies?"

And to think I have both the Chun-Li movie waiting in the wings for after I finish this one.

I did not really think this through.

Where did we leave off?

Oh right, the fate of the world rested in the hands of Jean-Claude Van Damme, a pop star, and Not T. Hawk.

Let's get back into it.

Street Fighter: The Movie - Part One

Video game movies.

I really don't need to say much more than that.  We just had another movie based on the Hitman franchise come out, and it's currently pulling a score on Rottentomatoes on par with the new Fantastic Four movie.  You'd think making a movie about a bald guy who goes around shooting people would be pretty easy to make, but apparently they just can't find a way to make it work.

I think it's telling that the highest-rated video game movie on Rottentomatoes is Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.  Granted, I liked that movie, but I know I'm in the not very vocal minority there.  Next up is the Prince of Persia movie and then you know what's in third?  Here's a hint, I took two days to review it.

That's right, that movie came out ahead of both Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil.

But there are certain video game movies people talk about when they talk about video game movies.  Super Mario Bros.  Mortal Kombat (and the awful sequel).  Tomb Raider.

And then there's this one.  This one always gets a bit of a pass because it was the last film Raul Julia ever worked on, but I remember enjoying it slightly even before I really knew to appreciate his work.  There was just something about it that I thought was pretty great when I was fourteen years old.

I'm sure I'll think of it.

So let's start watching.

Song of the Sea

In a strange way, Tomm Moore reminds me of the early days of Hayato Miyazaki, frequently regarded by anybody who's ever seen one of his movies (or just wants to sound like they know what they're talking about) as the greatest animated filmmaker with the possible exception of Walt Disney.  It's not that all of his stories are necessarily the most amazing things ever created.  It's more that there's such a fresh innocence provided by the characters and the fact that it never takes a cynical eye to its own story that makes me mentally compare the two as I'm watching their works.

Both directors have the ability to tell solid stories, but I think it's telling that even some of Miyazaki's early works aren't held as high as a lot of his later work, but even a "not as good" Miyazaki movie is still pretty good.  The same seems to hold true with Tomm Moore, who tells a story that isn't quite on part with stories like Spirited Away or Frozen but stands close behind them by the things it brings to the animated film "party" that other sources don't.

Review: Ant-Man

Technically, this review is really late because it's been some time since I've seen Ant-Man.  However, rather than immediately rush home and type up my impressions, there was a thought I had that made me hesitate.  I wanted to think about it some more, mull over what it means, and consider what it means for superhero movies as a whole.

But here it is, my review of Ant-Man.

Review: Inside Out

Trying to think back to the last time a movie really had an emotional impact on me, I found myself thinking back to the movie The Impossible.  The movie Inside Out is nowhere near as powerful a story, yet I found myself getting extremely emotionally involved in the story spotlighting the little characters controlling the emotions of an eleven year old girl whose parents move her halfway across the country from Minnesota (no city given) to San Francisco (no state given).

I will freely admit that, during one part of the movie, I was crying.  Not choking sobs or bawling or anything like that, but I had tears coming down my cheeks as I watched.  For some reason, an animated children's movie was able to evoke a powerful emotional response in me, and I think I know why.

Bold Eagles

So I got this message on Facebook:

Personal request. Please watch the animated film "Bold Eagles"- available on Netflix- and tell me what you think. Evy picked it out this evening, and I can honestly say it is one if the most disturbing films I've ever seen. You'll know what I mean once you watch it. If you can make it through to the end, that is...

Sadly, I don't have Netflix.  Oh, well.  But wait, I do have Hulu.  Could it be that this movie is on both streaming services at once?

...well, long story made short, yes.  It is.

So let's give it a watch.

Tink Week and A Half: Day Eight

So, you're a large animation studio and, after a series of disappointing DVD releases and toy sales, you decide that a series that brought in 330 Million Dollars in video sales ALONE needs to be shelved.  You decide to scrap the last two movies and just put out one more.  It's the last hurrah for these characters for the foreseeable future, so how are you going to go out?

Well, obviously you need to go out big.  a huge, "save the world" scale event.  You need to be able to use all the neat tricks your animation studio has learned over the years, so you're going to want some neat creatures to animate.  You're going to want at least one big name guest actor to do a voice.

And you're going to want to shelve the main star of most of the movies for a character who has, to this point, been woefully underdeveloped.

...wait, what?

Yeah, I know, it doesn't have the title on it, but that's a pretty great poster.

Tink Week and A Half: Day Seven

I remember seeing some advertisements for Secret Of The Wings when it was coming out on DVD, and before that I knew that the Disney Fairies were a franchise for Disney, but I didn't really realize just how big it became until this movie came out.

I saw ads for this EVERYWHERE.  It was in books and on TV, there were trailers for it before movies, I had to watch the trailer before I could watch Youtube videos.

And yet, somehow it all still went past me without my even casting a curious eye towards it until just recently.  Which is too bad, because if I had started with this, it might have been on my "best of the year" list last year.

Tink Week: Day Five

Does it bother anybody else out there when the entire plot of a movie and all of its dynamic twists are revealed in the trailer or commercial?  It can't just be me, but for some reason studios just can't wrap it around their heads to not let people reveal important plot points before everybody sees their work.

I mean, sometimes it's an outside company, like the fact that LEGO keeps spoiling movie plots by revealing toy sets early, or the people who made the DVD sets that include trailers showing all the scenes in the upcoming season you're about to watch, but studios also spoil all of their own stuff all the time.

It's why I was puzzled why Disney would create a movie called "The Secret Of The Wings" and then blatantly advertise everywhere that the big secret is "Tinker Bell has a sister!"  ...okay, I mean, granted, there's one more secret to the wings, but that's still a pretty huge secret.

If they had just stuck with this, it'd be fine.  This is an awesome poster.

Tink Week: Day Four

So far we've had a movie that gave us a standard superhero-style origin story (argue all you want, it's true) and an action adventure film involving dire stakes for an entire kingdom.  Not really what you might think of when you first hear the name "Tinker Bell" but hey, if Disney's not afraid to try new things with these characters, more power to them.

We're now getting into what I call the "better" Tinker Bell movies.  The first two were good, but a bit limited by animation and lack of character development.  This film, we get LOTS of character development and a more personal story, but there are still some extremely high stakes.

Oh, and Vidia's back, so bonus points.

Tink Week: Day Three

Last time, we discussed the first film in the Disney Fairies franchise.  It was a pretty decent story that introduced a science-focused heroine with a group of uniquely gifted/powered friends.  It was clean, well-written, and left the doors wide open for a sequel that would help flesh out the secondary characters and expand the world.

Instead, we get kinda-sorta half of that, with an action-adventure film that develops exactly one (1) character and takes us completely away from Pixie Hollow.

This is Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure.

Tink Week: Day Two

So yesterday I quoted Peggy Holmes, the director of Secret of the Wings and The Pirate Fairy when she talked about why audiences love Tinker Bell and the other fairies.  The full quote from the Hollywood Reporter article is, "What we've heard from our audiences is that they love the fairies because they have power and talents.  The fairies are superheroes to them."

Looking back at the films, I see it.  Whether it's something "mundane" like being able to grow flowers or something a bit more "action-y" like controlling water like you fell out of Avatar: The Last Airbender, controlling light, talking to animals, or, well, Tinker Bell's gift, it's still something that makes you special and unique.

And, like all superhero stories, you always start with the origin even if it has already been told several hundred times across all media so that people can get to know your character.

Hence, our first movie.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

I'm torn.

On the one hand, I can go into the review of a movie like Avengers: Age of Ultron as a fan, and simply crow about how amazing it is to see things I know and love up on a big screen.  "Look," the younger version of me that used to collect action figures and thought that stuff made in the 90's wasn't horribly dated, "they referenced Wakanda!  It's the Hulk fighting Iron Man!  There's a Jocasta reference!  This is the best!"  On the other hand, if I do my best to look at it as if I knew nothing about comic book characters other than what they've presented in the films so far, I'm less enthused about it.

But then I wonder if it's me, not the movie, that's having troubles.  Maybe I'm just jaded still after so many years of terrible comic book movies that I find it hard to believe there can be one that really reaches greatness, even after the first Avengers movie smashed through box office records like, well, like the Hulk smashing through drywall sheets.  Maybe it's my inner critic that just feels the need to nitpick things because I hold the sequel to a movie that broke box office records in the previously-referenced metaphoric way to high standards that I feel the need to be strict where I'd be lenient with other films.

Maybe I should just boil it down this way: Did I enjoy myself?  "Yes, But."