I've commented before that a "very special episode" that raises awareness of issues is a very delicate subject. Some programs handle them well, some don't. In fact, I even discussed this topic in a post that alluded to my eventually reaching this exact episode. If you haven't read it, go back. It has some clever jokes.
But yeah, this is it. This is the big one. This is the one that, as I watched, my brain simply rejected everything I was watching as a fit of drug-induced madness and I was forced to watch it again just to convince myself it was real. The least strange thing about it? The fact that a pony reads bedtime stories to a tree.
So let's do it. Let's discuss the episode of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic that talks about western expansionism versus Native American holy land and traditions! For kids!
We start out with what I mentioned before, showing a train travelling down the tracks of what looks akin to the American Southwest. You have bluffs, cliffs, and cacti, with the occasional tumbleweed. Now, keep in mind, this is a show about sentient ponies and horses, so the engine car doesn't have a conductor, per se. Instead, it has a group of horses pulling the engine and all of the other cars.
Why do you have an engine car if its only purpose is to blow a whistle? There are eight "cars" total including the engine and caboose that these horses have to pull. Why not remove the engine and just let them pull the cars? Why is the engine even shaped like that if they don't use coal or steam power to power them? IT MAKES NO SENSE.
We cut to the caboose, where Applejack is reading a bedtime story to an apple tree. And then tucking it in to sleep in a comfy bed. This is actually happening, and it's nice that Rarity seems as flabbergasted by the whole thing as I am.
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| I think I just found my "guess how my work day went" face. |
And then we get the title sequence, and my mind is already struggling to keep up.
And furthermore, how do they run on train tracks? Wouldn't that hurt? Are the train cars extra wide to accommodate four horses across?
Okay, Erik. Focus. We haven't even got to the most mind-boggling part yet.
We come back to nightfall, with the train continuing its journey (how do they keep up their energy that long? Are there frequent stops?), and the other five ponies are getting ready to sleep. I do appreciate that they had the foresight to put Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy in the upper bunks, since I was going to ask how non-flying ponies climb a ladder, but then I find that Rarity also has a top bunk. Did she magic herself up? Did Twilight stuff her up there with the magic that can lift bears made of outer space? ...sorry, it's been a while since I said that.
Spike and Rarity are trying to get some sleep, but the other ponies are caught in what I can only imagine is how most slumber parties for young girls go, full of giggling and jokes said just softly enough that it's still speaking at full volume, just slightly muffled.
Spike, to avoid the girls being girls (Ha! Sexism!) decides to curl up in bed with the tree. Oh yeah, and the tree's name is Bloomburg. His destination? Appleloosa. I wish I was kidding.
Dawn comes, and the girls are awakened due to the rumbling outside the train of a buffalo stampede. Now, here's the first hint that things are going to go in a "you must be kidding" way. The buffalo are wearing feathers in their fur.
No, I don't know why they wear them or how they got them in their fur. Buffalo don't have magic lifting horns or wings, so they seem a lot more limited in fine details. No time for that though, because the buffalo start shoulder checking the train and the horses pulling it, apparently trying to run it off the...tracks?
...why wouldn't you just push a rock into its path to make it stop?
But oh, it gets better when one buffalo does a neat acrobatic jump to land on the back of another buffalo still running at full speed, followed by another, younger, thinner, somehow effeminate buffalo leaping on top of that one like some twisted Cirque du Soleil act.
No, a picture wouldn't help explain it any better.
Rainbow Dash starts to realize something's up after the young buffalo jumps on top of the train and starts running back the way they came from towards the caboose (...sigh) and takes off to the roof to confront "her." The buffalo doesn't really want to answer despite Rainbow Dash's multiple attempts at contact, and Rainbow Dash (somehow) manages to fly face first into a railroad sign. By flying backwards along a train going forwards and- never mind, the physics of understanding how that happened are just absolutely failing me now.
The young buffalo disconnects the caboose from the other cars, and we have ourselves a tree-napping! Oh yeah, and a Spike-napping.
In town, the ponies meet up with Applejack's...cousin? Uncle? Something? His name is Braeburn, and he's more interested in showing the girls around town than hearing Applejack explain what happened. Once Applejack is able to get a word in edgewise to oh, hey, he's her cousin, okay. Anyway, the girls explain that 1) Buffalo kidnapped Spike, 2) Rainbow Dash went after them, 3) They can't find Pinkie Pie (wait, when did that happen?), and 4) the tree's gone.
So yeah, apparently the buffalo have been pestering the "settler ponies" for a bit now to clear out the apple orchard that was put in place, which, as Braeburn puts it, "t'aint fair."
So yeah, let's cut away to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie (because of course Pinkie Pie can locate anybody, she has Looney Tunes Logic on her side) who are trying to rescue Spike. It...doesn't go well, and the two get caught within a few seconds...fortunately, Spike is there to talk the buffalo down (?) and sends them on their way with what I can only describe as a "bro-hoof bump."
Night falls (so, three characters have been missing for at least twelve hours now, nice), and the two are introduced to "Little Strongarm," the female buffalo from before. She apologizes to Applejack and explains a slightly different version of the story the other ponies got.
We hear from Chief Thunderhooves (complete in full headdress) about the traditional stampeding grounds, and how it's a "sacred tradition" to run the same path generation after generation. Turns out the Appleloosians (Appleloosans? Let's call them "settler ponies") planted the apple orchard without asking permission first, so now there's a feud between the two races. Spike, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash seem set to take the buffalo side, but of course the others only know the settler ponies side...that means it's time for conflict!
Braeburn and Little Strongarm are introduced to each other, but before the two are able to communicate their sides, Rainbow Dash and Applejack start fighting about which side is "right" as opposed to letting them explain their sides and learn about each other. Because that would be too simple, and we're already hip deep in metaphor, so why let calm minds win now, eh?
So, the settler ponies need the harvest to live, the buffalo had the land first...how can we possibly reach a compromise? The answer, of course, lies with Pinkie Pie.
As does madness. Madness lies with Pinkie Pie, too.
Let me break this down for you. It's Pinkie Pie. Singing and dancing. In a saloon girl dress. With stockings on all four legs. Two appear to be fishnet stockings, two just have a lot of sparkles. And she starts the song by emerging from a closed clam shell.
Oh, and she also does standing leg kicks like a can-can girl.
Ponies. Doing leg-kicks while standing on their hind legs.
Trust me, seeing it is the only way to experience all the madness involved. I like a lot of the songs in this show, but when you're handling a history of racial tensions between settlers of this nation and the native peoples...maybe ponies trying to wear sexy stockings and dance isn't the best way to do it. Just a thought.
So, yeah, it doesn't have quite the intended effect, as the buffalo threaten to stampede the next day at noon, the ponies set up defenses and stockade supplies, and the buffalo sharpen their hooves, practice ramming their heads against each other, and put on war paint. SUBTLE, GUYS.
I'm almost embarrassed for this show. I get what they're trying to do, but maybe this just isn't how you address such a sensitive topic!
...I did like the moment that Rainbow Dash tries to talk the chief out of stampeding, just to have him say "They stole our land. What would you have me do, Rainbow Dash?"
So, the buffalo line up to stampede. The settlers have their defenses ready. Noon comes...but the Chief can't do it. He can't destroy the livelihood of another group of people, dooming them to either return home broke and a failure or starve to death.
And then Pinkie Pie ruins the whole thing by singing her song again, and the enraged buffalo stampede.
They burst through the barricade. The sheriff calls for the ponies to ready, aim...
And here's where the episode goes absolutely bat-poop insane. How do you deal with a horde of stampeding buffalo attacking your town? YOU THROW PIES AT THEM, OF COURSE.
Yeah. Between ponies trying to ride buffalo like bucking broncos and buffalo knocking buildings over, the whole thing devolves into a giant pie fight. At this point, my brain just gives up and accepts that this is how things work in Crazytown, population: me and this episode.
Right when the Chief is about to trample the sheriff to death, he takes a pie to the face (which somehow stops his forward momentum when he was in mid-air?) and lies still...until a bite of pie lands in his mouth and hey, we have a solution!
In exchange for clearing a pathway for the buffalo to stampede through, the buffalo will let the settlers have the land in return for part of the harvest and a bunch of pies! Way to trade your land for beads and trinkets there, guys.
I just- I gotta get out of this blog post. My brain no workie now more.
The Good:
Okay, I like the lesson. "Even enemies can become friends" and "it's important to share." That's a pretty good lesson to take from this as it is. The landscapes are beautifully drawn, and a lot of the new character designs are also pretty great. I actually hope we see Little Strongarm again, since Zecora seems to be the only regular "non-pony race" character besides Spike. Maybe she could be the Pocahontas of her people. That turned out great for her, right?
...dead that young, huh. Well, maybe she can be the Sacajawea and- ....oh, right. Also died young.
Man, history is heavy stuff.
The Bad:
I really, really, really don't like how they handled a matter this delicately. Having buffalo represent the native people of the plains is one thing, and probably the thing I find the least objectionable. But just having one tribe with standard headdresses and war paint just furthers the stereotype. It's nice that the buffalo were just as well-spoken and eloquent (moreso than Braeburn) as the ponies nearby, because if they talked like "me speakum you move orchard" I probably would've punched my computer screen.
Also, if you were going for historical accuracy in how early tribes traded away their land as the start of centuries of having their homes taken from them, fine, but going from "it's our most sacred land and tradition" to "hey, you know what this place is worth? A few pies and some barrels of apples" is kind of a smack in the face to something sensitive.
Also, HOW DOES THAT TRAIN MAKE ANY SENSE?
Overall:
THAT STUPID TRAIN!
Ahem. This episode is absolutely bananas. The fact it exists is both fascinating and horrifying at the same time, and somehow manages to be both my least favorite episode and one that I think is essential to see for the full show experience. I mean, you have a pie war where the buffalo that get struck fall down and don't get back up again. Did they die from pie-related injuries? Why would you turn the crop that you need to live and weaponize it? Isn't that a huge waste of the food you need to live?
And how did they get a stage built so quickly for Pinkie Pie to dance on? Where did they get the clam shell? Pony Gaga had a concert there recently?
GAH.
Okay, that's it, I'm done with this episode. Whatever happens next can't be anywhere near as mind-boggling as this one, right? What's the topic?
Oh, sweet, Fluttershy steals a bird from Princess Celestia. Maybe next Pinkie Pie will shiv someone who cuts her off in traffic.
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