Unico In The Island Of Magic! Part Two!!

When we last left off, we were halfway through a movie and the following events had occurred:

1) A talking cat demonstrated the ability to coerce birds and frogs to sing in harmony after putting them in a pair of headphones.

2) A guy named Toby working for Marty Feldman circa Young Frankenstein turned a whole bunch of people into "living puppets" and used them to build up a castle/keep/estate into something bigger.

3) Our heroes (Unico and Sheri) were eaten by a steampunk dragon before being turned into dolls by Toby and stored in a wall for safekeeping, however they were then later used by Lord Kuruku (the boss I refered to above) in a huge musical play number.

4) Toby is Sheri's older brother in what was one of the worst kept secrets of the whole film...and yet, they managed to get that big plot reveal out of the way within the first 45 minutes of the film instead of leaving it to be an obvious reveal later.  Kudos, film.

So let's continue down this trippy adventure, and keep in mind that as bizarre as things are so far, they're gonna get stranger.


Once Kuruku leaves his "toys" behind, Toby comes back and reclaims Sheri and Unico.  He transforms one of the "living puppets" in the floor into a flying rocket-powered surfboard and flies off with them both to put them back on the island.  He turns them both back to normal and leaves them behind where, without anybody else around to take care of crops or fix anything, I'm sure the wilds of nature will kill them if starvation doesn't.

By the way, how terrifying would it be to be the "living puppet" he turns into a rocket surfboard?

Sure, the face says "ho, hum" but inside I bet it's going "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Toby explains he has to leave in order to visit "The Valley Of The Demons."  Sheri, who apparently doesn't understand what "demon" means, gets really concerned that he's going to turn all of them into "living puppets" as well, and determines that she and Unico need to go save them.

Sadly, running to the Valley of the Demons doesn't beat a rocket surfboard made out of a person, and by the time they get there (wait, how big is this island anyway?) Toby has already turned the "demons" into puppets that look suspiciously like the human ones, even though the source material looked absolutely nothing like what humans look like.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the rejected Pokemon:  Duckstalk, Anorexbat, Jestosaur, and Manboobs. 

Sheri and Unico find all of the "baby" demons that hid when Toby showed up, and Sheri vows to return their parents to them.  The babies tell them about the Sphinx, which is probably the only creature who knows how to fight Kuruku's magic.

After a jump cut, the two make their way through a sandstorm (seriously, how big is this island?!) trying to find the Sphinx.  Now, based on the other creatures we've seen, I'd expect something fantastic, ancient, and powerful, like something out of The Neverending Story.  Something like those statues you have to pass through to prove your virtue.

Yeah, those guys.

...man, two pictures in a row of non-human creatures with breasts.  I might need to update the rating of this blog.

So, let's see what we get:

D'awwwwwww!

Okay, to be fair, that's the Sphinx's child, it turns out the kiddo's mother is out visiting relatives and left the kid in charge.

The kid isn't much help, but knows where a source of help could be.  However, the only problem is it lives at the edge of the earth.  Sheri and Unico head out, but Sheri tells Unico he has to stay behind so she can take the trip by herself.  Unico is afraid it means Sheri doesn't care about him, but Sphinx-lite points out that it's because she cares about him that she's making him stay.

With this realization, Unico manages to transform into a full-sized pegasus-unicorn thing (quick, someone help me with those things are called), scoops up Sheri and the kid-Sphinx (and yet, Sheri never picks up on the fact that a giant winged horse happened along right after she left a smaller magical horse with a horn behind...the kid's rather dense) and heads off with them to the end of the earth.

The "end of the earth" is actually a pretty impressive place, large spires and mountains built out of all the junk that people have thrown away over centuries piled atop each other.  You have everything from chairs and articles of clothing to entire shipwrecks piled atop each other.

Oh, and all of the objects are alive.  And bitter about being turned into trash.

Well, everything except the being who "almost knows as much as the Sphinx does."  What is it?

The Trojan Horse, of course.  Who, as he states himself, has been there for "over a thousand years."

Somehow I expected it to be bigger.  And less colorful.  And not a rocking horse.  The soldiers waiting inside probably got quite sick as the people of Troy played with it.

The Trojan Horse breaks down the entire history of Kuruku, and sit back because this is about to get amazing.  See, Kuruku was actually a marionette doll who was owned by "a wicked old woman and a cruel magician" and they threw him out with the trash one day.  He wound up washed ashore at the end of the earth, and just happened to lie in the exact spot that was the only spot that the sun shone on in the area, "and only for a few moments each day."

See, apparently the sun has strange mystical powers, because after a few hundred years of lying there, Kuruku came to life, became filled with hatred for all men, and marched back out into the sea to seek his revenge.

It's essentially Pinocchio would be without Jiminy Cricket.

However, when they ask how to fight Kuruku, the Trojan Horse essentially goes "bugger if I know" and says the only real chance they have to fight his evil is with "their kindness."

So with the helpful advice of "be nice to the bad guy and he'll stop," Unico transforms to a full-size pegacorn/unigus and they head back to the island made of people.  They say it's Nightmare Island, I'm going to call it Soylent Island.

So, now a little wiser, a little braver, and with their very own Sphinx on their side, they can surely do great things now, right?

Or not, since the first thing that happens is the steampunk dragon chases them around the island.  However, the dragon falls prey to a moment of breaking the fourth wall to look at the camera and plows right into a column in what is either brilliant writing or extreme laziness, but I'm willing to give the movie the benefit of the doubt.

Kuruku confronts them, and the mini-Sphinx runs off terrified.  Kuruku asks if it wasn't true he had Sheri and Unico turned into toys, and Sheri replies "Yes, I even danced for you."

...so, that means that everybody who's been turned into a "living puppet" really might also be aware of what's happening to them all the time.  Even if they manage to win and turn everybody back, you are going to have a giant mountain of people crushing those at the bottom and those who even survive are going to have an extreme case of PTSD.

Kuruku summons Toby and orders him to turn Sheri and Unico into living puppets, but Toby defies him and a huge battle of magic begins between the two.  Toby with his lasers that turn one thing into another thing, and Kuruku who apparently has real actual lasers along with his magic.

Yowza.

Needless to say, the result was never really in doubt since the only thing Toby really does effectively is make flowers sprout out of people, and he promptly gets turned into a living puppet as well.  Kuruku confronts Unico and Sheri again, and they plead with him to change all the people back, but the pleas fall on deaf ears.  Kuruku shoots a blast that Unico attempts to leap in front of, but Sheri pushes him to the side and takes the hit herself, changing into a living puppet.

Unico emerges from underneath the Sheri-puppet just in time to see Kuruku transform the "last remaining creatures" (unless you count all of the animals Toby failed to catch on the island), which means the mini-Sphinx and the cat are both transformed as well.

So that's it.  One little unicorn that can sprout bug wings alone against rather insane magical power.

And against a steampunk dragon.  The dragon explodes out of a wall (...made of people) and smashes through several columns and "traps" (also made of people) sending (people) debris and chunks (of people) everywhere. Unico is able to minimize the loss of life, though, by luring it into plummeting into the ocean.

Kuruku, after a lengthy chase sequence, manages to shoot the wings off of Unico, but Unico is still able to dodge long enough for Kuruku to knock over a great deal of columns (made of people, I presume).

The mortality rate must be getting pretty high here.

Kuruku, in a fit of pique, uses his magic to rip the top of the castle off and launch himself and Unico into the sky (tearing I have no idea how many people in half), and in a final showdown of "glowing horn" versus "finger lasers" Unico manages to punch right through Kuruku's body.  However, this uses up what was left of Unico's strength, and as Kuruku clings to a column, Unico lets spill how bad he feels for Kuruku.  This seems to cause Kuruku even more pain, and Unico, being the gentle, loving soul he is, apologizes for having hurt him and tries one last time, even offering to be Kuruku's friend if he lets everyone go. 

His words finally reach Kuruku, and Kuruku shrinks down to almost nothing as he realizes that not everybody is as cruel as the people who previously owned him.  However, seeing as his hate was "the only thing keeping him alive," the fact he now feels sympathy is also what finally kills him, and the part of the castle he pulled into the sky breaks apart into pieces and rains down.

Current death count: at least hundreds.

The entire castle below starts to come apart as living puppet walls fall apart, bridges collapse, and floors buckle.  By the time it's done, all that's left is the original island the castle was built on.  Unico washes up on a shore, just in time for the West Wind to arrive and say "well, good job, you killed a horrible evil...time to go!"  Apparently defeating a major evil is enough to draw the attention of "the Gods" (though, where were they when their followers were being transformed into puppets?) so she scoops him up and they head out.  Unico asks if he can say goodbye to Sheri, but the West Wind simply states that Sheri will never forget Unico.

Though, Unico will probably forget Sheri the next time his memory gets wiped.  You're a jerk, West Wind.


But, you might be wondering, what about all the people?  Well, the camera pans down to show all the animals and people (no demons though, how peculiar) standing on a shore looking out at the water.  Sheri looks around for Unico, but instead finds the puppet remains of Kuruku which she picks up, looks over, and hugs.

...you just know her parents are going to find out what that thing is and are going to toss it into the stove.

Roll credits.

The Good:

I know I keep hammering on about this, but the animation is absolutely gorgeous.  It might not have as many "frames per minute" as current animation, so when Unico runs it looks like a bunny hopping, but for some reason it just works since it's consistent.  Backgrounds are highly detailed, characters are drawn with an amazing amount of expression, and you really get a sense of how big this world is, and not just because we see a desert and forest on the same island.

This movie also wastes little time getting into the plot, introducing our "low ranking" villain, our "mid-level not so evil" villain, and then quickly giving us a taste of the "big bad."  It also feels much more "epic" in scope, since the characters have to travel so far on their quest to get the answer to defeat the villain. 

The message of "friends are important, and anybody can have at least one friend" can be a bit soft, but I remember it from when I was young, and considering there's an entirely "new" cartoon series based around the exact same concept that's become pretty huge, I guess it still holds up.

The Bad:

I'm still wondering just how many people died when that castle collapsed.  Sure, there must have been parts of the castle that weren't made of people (the columns were round, and I don't remember seeing many "round" people puppets) but you had rocky debris falling from a crumbling castle, a dragon crashing through walls...there must have been some deaths.

Also, I'm still left a little confused by a few things.  What happened to the demons?  Did they just run back home to their babies as soon as they changed back?  Is the Trojan Horse now permanently stuck at the edge of the earth with nobody ever coming to visit him again?   How is the baby sphinx going to get back to its home?  WHY WAS THERE A MUSICAL NUMBER WITH KURUKU'S TOYS?  Were his toys also transformed creatures?  How does the sun bring angry puppets to life?  Why does the West Wind mindwipe Unico every time she drops him off?

Also, while Kuruku was powerful, he didn't have quite the same intimidation level as "Baron de Ghost" and his demonic form.  That thing was terrifying.  Kuruku was creepy, but seemed like more of a joke, all things considered. 

Overall:

This movie still holds up to the fondness I remember from my childhood, and it still seems just as creepy in parts as how I remember it.  Even more in some areas now that I can recognize some of the stuff that might not be originally intended by the writers and creators.  Unico is a fun character, and one that I almost wish they'd bring back into more movies since you can pretty much throw him anywhere, have him make a few friends, and fight ancient evils before moving on again.  Or you could turn it into a series, with a different storyline for every few episodes as Unico helps someone and then they move on to a new location and help someone else.

I know I gave away a lot, but there are some things I intentionally left hidden.  These were great moments that people can see if they watch the movies, and I can't recommend enough that they do.

So, uh, the next week is going to be a bit of a vacation week for me, as I'm going to be on vacation!  I'll do occasional updates with stuff from my trip, but if I go a day without posting anything, that's why.

Labor Day, though...man.  I really should finish that last Mario cartoon.  Not looking forward to that in the least.