The only high points of the series so far has been the depth of characterization in King Koopa and Luigi, and so far King Koopa is the only one who hasn't come across as being either a) inconsequential, b) oblivious, or c) selfish to the point of being a villain themselves.
Also, I'm starting to understand why they don't give Mario a personality in the video games, any attempt to make him more than just a two dimensional character is probably still tainted by this show.
I'm just thankful I don't have to look at any of the terrible live action bits of the show. For now, anyway.
So let's get this over with.
The title of this final episode? The Trojan Koopa.
I'm not sure if the seas are filled with blood or with Kool-Aid, but for an indication of just how much I don't want to discuss this episode, I'm now struggling to keep my brain from pondering who would win in a fight between Sharkleberry Fin and Purplesaurus Rex.
Princess Toadstool has already been kidnapped by Koopa, and Mario, Toad, and Luigi are riding in a bathtub towards his island hideout across the stormy seas. Luigi, being sensible, is absolutely terrified by the extremely limited form of transportation, but Mario tells him "everything's going according to plan."
Well, that's the final nail in the coffin for Mario's intelligence. Riding in a bathtub through a storm with waves taller than them is the plan.
Luigi gets the best line ever here, after the tub somehow washes ashore: "Mario, I hate this plan."
Apparently the plan is also ditch the tub as cover and walk straight down an open path towards Koopa's base, because they're spotted immediately by the bad guys. It doesn't really matter, though, because Koopa apparently figured out that not having a base surrounded by stairs was a good idea, and the castle is essentially a giant tower with a smaller tower on top.
Oh, and it's protected by the Hammer Brothers, who are apparently awesome enough to be recognizable and get their own names, as opposed to all the similar-looking guys who didn't have hammers.
So, how does Mario plan on getting past that wall and the defenses? Well, the first idea he has is to tie plungers to his feet and walk up the wall. Ignoring the fact that I don't think his spine would support that kind of action, it's defeated when the Hammer Brothers simply smack the block he's standing on out of the tower.
Their second attempt is to have Luigi pole-vault into the base, but that fails as well due to the Hammer Brothers interference (though I love Luigi attempting to psych himself up to do it, and how crestfallen he looks when he fails. Mario just looked angry when his idea failed). Mario's next idea is to put Toad into a giant slingshot and fling him at the castle.
If I was Toad, my response would be "nnnnnnope, let's put you in there first and fling you at high speed at a brick wall first."
Somehow they manage to get Toad past the wall, but he gets thrown back out since, y'know, he's just Toad alone against the bad guys.
Koopa sends out the Hammer Brothers to finish the job, but Mario manages to find two creatures even dumber than him, because he's able to jump and land between them, then jump again at the last second so they smack each other in the face. I wish I was kidding.
Mario announces it's time to enact the second part of the plan, leaving me wondering what all those failed attempts were. Were you just trying to get Koopa to be overconfident?
Koopa looks out his telescope and spies the bathtub sailing back out to sea with what appears to be Mario, Luigi, and Toad on board, but a quick close-up for us shows it's actually the Hammer Brothers and a tropical fruit (or something) dressed up like the good guys.
...that's actually kinda clever. Well, for Mario, I mean. But I doubt the good guys can dress up like bad guys very well, since they barely made passable caterers in the wedding episode. Koopa also spots a large wooden statue of himself sitting out front, which begs several questions.
One, how did they build that thing with the limited supplies of the island and with nobody noticing them?
Two, how did they get it in front of the castle without anybody noticing?
Three, why hasn't Koopa noticed his "elite troops" haven't come back yet?
Koopa is so taken with the giant statue he demands it be brought inside, and the good guys are thrilled that the plan worked and that the Hammer Brothers are gone.
However, don't count the Hammer Brothers out yet, because apparently they're so hardcore, they're willing to slap their own faces against the water (their hands are tied, you see) to paddle back to shore. Now those are some loyal troops.
Night falls, and can we take a moment to talk about the Shy Guys?
I don't know if they're wearing pink because they support breast cancer research, whether King Koopa is making them wear that to embarrass them, if they're all actually women, or if Koopa is actually the most progressive employer when it comes to sexuality in video game history, but either way I don't really remember them wearing pink in the games.
Either way, it's an interesting color scheme choice and I think that, in today's cartoon market, it might've sparked some interesting story lines.
The good guys sneak out of Koopa and dust themselves off. Mario indicates they need to be at maximum stealth efficiency if they're going to rescue the Princess, but this is immediately followed by a loud banging at the door as the Hammer Brothers get back and smach down the door with their hammers. I don't remember them being that bad-ass in the games, either, especially since I figured out how to wait until they jumped up a platform so I could knock them down with a jump.
Mario, Luigi, and Toad are cornered by the bad guys, and things look really bleak. Princess Toadstool, realizing that her rescuing committee (or at least their leader) is completely incompetent, silently prays that there was something she could do to help them.
And this is where the biggest deus ex machina I've ever seen occurs.
A falling star, that just happens to be an invulnerability star, plummets out of the sky into her hands.
That's right, it's Super Princess Peach.
Wait, what? No, not that. I mean it's actually Super Princess Toadstool. Almost forgot the names don't translate over.
When Koopa calls for his troops to kill the good guys (why they don't just run into the open door behind them, I don't know), we're greeted by Princess Toadstool going full on Crackdown on the bad guys as she jumps off a multi-story tower, bounces off an awning, and does a full flip before landing on her feet in the midst of the bad guys.
Maybe her descent was slowed by her dress, since the games seem to be heavily influenced by Super Mario Bros. 2, but I doubt anybody was really thinking of that at the time.
Side note: I'm not sure, but I think that she states it's "Princess Peach" to the rescue. Is her name really "Peach Toadstool?" That's a terrible name...but one I think the Japanese are fully capable of thinking of.
The Hammer Brothers fling their hammers at Peach/Toadstool (remember, the ones that they had enough muscle power behind to smash down a giant castle door?) but she doesn't even bat an eye as she catches them and throws them back.
Her next action is to chase after the Shy Guys and do a running parkour set directly over their bodies-
...okay, you know what? This is actually pretty awesome.
Koopa promptly high-tails it, but not before taking a moment to brag about how he's stealing the Mario Brothers' boat- ...wait, why does he need to steal their boat? How did he get the Princess to the island in the first place?
Well, he gets their tub, but the good guys simply convert the Trojan Koopa over to turn it into a submarine (man, they are much better carpenters than they are plumbers) and sail off in it to safety.
...so wait, we're at the last episode and I finally get something that not only breaks the conventions of the roles princesses have in video games and cartoons, but has a pretty awesome fight scene?
And now it's over?
What the hell, DVD? WHAT THE HELL.
The Good:
This was, by far, the best episode out of all of the ones on the DVD. You had a heroic rescue that defied all of the "tropes" of cartoons of the day, and took a background character known for nothing more than giggling, making cakes, and getting kidnapped (as well as some mild sports enthusiasm) and turning her into one step short of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. You had real intimidating villains in the Hammer Brothers, whose strength feats and dedication would make them great recurring opponents, especially if they were used correctly, and you had some clever Warner Brothers-inspired humor based on the good guys trying to get into the castle.
Oh, and it also took what I was certain was going to be another bastardization of a story (I fully expected them to wind up in "Troyland" or something) and made it into something unique and original.
The Bad:
Still, it wasn't perfect. There are some genuine plot holes (which I addressed above, including "how did they build that statue with nobody noticing?") that some simple editing or writing would have fixed. There are still moments where a character will have their mouth move and no words come out or the wrong voice speaks, and there are some issues involving spacing and depth that make the tower in the center of the keep almost impossible to construct.
It was also a pretty huge cop-out to have an invulnerability star just "happen" to land at that moment, but I really can't expect too much from a cartoon based on a game where punching blocks can have the same effect.
Also, Mario is still a terrible leader, Luigi came across as rather pathetic this time, and Toad...well, he's never been a good character and never will be.
Overall:
If every episode had been up to this level, I might not have come into this final episode expecting to want to claw out my eyes and drop them in bleach. It wasn't great by any means, but the action (whether it was performed by a female character or if any of the male characters had done it) was pretty cool with the build-up leading to it. It broke quite a few conventions of the series (including just the previous eight episodes), and was overall a pretty smooth story.
So that's it, I'm done, and at this exact moment I'm actually wishing I had another episode to see to make sure the quality of this one wasn't just a fluke. However, all, ahem, "good" things must indeed come to an end, so starting next Monday we'll take a look at an entirely different series, one I haven't actually watched before, but have such a strong emotional connection to the original material it's based on that if it's bad, you'll probably just see me post a video of myself crying like that person begging people to "Leave Brittany Alone!"
Either way, it'll be entertaining to my readers.
No comments:
Post a Comment